


A Better Man

by DrNeverland



Series: Of Things That May Be Only 'Verse [4]
Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII, Dirge of Cerberus: Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Relationship(s), Post Advent Children, Post Dirge of Cerberus, Reincarnation, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-30
Updated: 2017-09-09
Packaged: 2018-07-27 16:10:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 42,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7625191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DrNeverland/pseuds/DrNeverland
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sephiroth's journey to reconcile his past and gain closure.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Better Man

**Author's Note:**

> Sephiroth and Genesis begin their trek across the Western Continent.

Sephiroth curled his legs up and propped his arms on his knees, bouncing slightly in the bed of Barrett’s truck while they drove to Corel. He stared at the blank screen of his phone, catching his sour reflection in its surface.

“Oh, for Goddess’ sake, Sephiroth, it’s been two days since you left. Can’t you possibly go _one_ without moping?” Genesis asked. He leaned across his half of the truck bed and folded his arms. “I thought you were much better at the whole ‘stoic warrior who doesn’t need anyone’ shtick.”

Huffing, Sephiroth tucked his phone back into the inner pocket of his signature coat. “I am not _moping_. I miss them.” He bent his legs up further when Genesis tried to kick at him. “Besides, I used to miss you and Angeal when we were apart. It was encouraged that I didn’t show it.”

Genesis sneered and looked away. “It would have been nice to know that you missed us. Perhaps it would have made me feel less insignificant in your shadow.”

Sephiroth rolled his eyes. “Again, with that? I told you – it wasn’t something I wanted.”

“I know.” Genesis sighed and hauled himself across the truck bed to sit beside Sephiroth. “You would have rather been coddled by a mother…”

Sephiroth elbowed Genesis in the ribs. “Don’t say it like I was some cry baby. I was looking for my identity. Do we really need to rehash this?”

“No… no. _My soul, corrupted by vengeance…Hath endured torment, to find the end of the journey… In my own salvation._ I did not have the escape of many deaths to learn any sort of lessons as you did, Sephiroth. These past years, I slept beneath the ruins of Midgar. It is only because of your father’s actions that I even woke,” said Genesis.

“You failed to really elaborate on that. Just what did you do with that _Weiss_ character you mentioned?”

Genesis smirked and gave Sephiroth a side-glance. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

Sephiroth’s unamused frown led Genesis to continue talking.

“Very well. He is currently comatose in the Modeoheim Area. I thought a barren place like that would be suitable, considering no one would go to a location ShinRa had wiped off the map.”

Sephiroth continued to frown and sat forward to look better at Genesis. “You left him where Angeal died.”

“…Yes.”

“Genesis.”

“What?”

“You aren’t planning anything… with his body?”

Genesis at least had the decency to look appalled when Sephiroth left that vague notion hanging. He leaned away from Sephiroth and placed a hand on his own chest.

“Are you thinking I’m going to… have sex with his unconscious form?! Sephiroth, that’s absurd and furthermore-“

“HEY!” Barrett’s hand slapped the outside of his truck, getting their attention from his place in the driver’s seat. “Marlene don’t need to hear this shit, and frankly, neither do I!”

Sephiroth crawled over top of Genesis and leaned into the open window that separated the cab from Barrett’s covered truck bed. “My apologies, Barrett. Genesis really has no sense of decorum-“

“ME?! You’re the one suggesting-“

“Both of ya, stop! Change the subject!” barked Barrett, hardly taking his eyes from the road.

“Again, I apologize,” replied Sephiroth. “Allow me to spare you the further torment…” he continued as he slid the window shut so Barrett and Marlene would no longer hear the details of their conversation.

Genesis huffed and shoved at Sephiroth’s side. “You got us into trouble for being so crass!”

“Me? You’re the one whose brain went right to sex! I thought you were going to clone Angeal onto Weiss!”

Genesis pushed Sephiroth until he relented and fell back into a seated position in the back. For the noise they were making, they were rewarded with Barrett’s music blaring at them even through the window, which then began to rattle and vibrate with the beat.

“As if I still had any means to do so!” Genesis snapped, his arms folded over his chest. “Besides, Weiss is practically my son. My DNA was used in the construction and empowerment of the Tsviets, or so it seems to me.”

“How am I supposed to know? You were dispatched well after I fell into the reactor at Nibelheim. I don’t know what you would have done in Deepground. I barely know what it is _now_.”

Genesis huffed and sat away from Sephiroth again, balancing the truck in an awkward lack of conversation as Barrett’s music threatened to shatter the windows of his vehicle. Just the rattling noise alone made Genesis snicker.

“I don’t think Mr. Wallace’s lack of hearing came from his mining days. I think his eardrums revolted at his taste in music.”

Sephiroth kicked Genesis’s foot from where he sat. “Be nice. Barrett doesn’t have to do any of this for us. We could be walking to Corel. And no, it’s not because of his music. He lost part of his hearing when someone’s lack of care caused an explosion to go off prematurely. I say he’s lucky to be alive, given the impoverished nature of his town. A severe enough injury could have killed him without adequate medical care.”

“Mm, every time you speak in defense of Cloud’s friends, I can’t help but wonder where it comes from. You have an amazing amount of compassion for someone who slaughtered enemies wholesale,” Genesis contested. He folded his arms over his chest and gave Sephiroth a smug grin. “Especially since they conspired in your… what, second demise?”

Sephiroth sneered across the truck at Genesis. “It’s amazing what you can learn by speaking with someone, as opposed to presuming you know what they are like.” Sephiroth sat up a little farther on his side, drawing his legs away from Genesis. “And they were trying to save the Planet, acting like heroes _should_.”

Genesis dropped his arrogant smirk and looked away from Sephiroth, letting his gaze drop to the retreating landscape they left behind. The small window of Barrett’s cab slid open and Marlene’s face appeared. The music Barrett had used to drown out their conversation had lessened to a tolerable level.

“We’re here, Mr. Valentine, Mr. Rhapsodos,” she said, smiling to them in turn. “Papa says you should try the local inn, over that way,” she added, pointing toward her left. “Tell him Papa sent you, an’ he shouldn’t give you problems for being outsiders.”

Sephiroth smiled politely to Marlene and bowed his head. “Thank you, very much.” He grabbed his duffle, Ame no Murakumo in its sheath and slid himself out from the back of Barrett’s truck.

The leader of the town already had civilians coming from their various huts and shanties to greet Barrett, some slapping him on the back or punching him in the arm for getting to go on a vacation with his old friends. Hardly anyone gave Sephiroth or Genesis a second thought, which suited Sephiroth’s purposes just fine. He hoisted his bag over his shoulder while the townspeople greeted their leader with coarse language and friendly smiles.

Genesis curled his upper lip and shook his head. “People never change, do they? This place is just as crude and filthy as I remember the last time I passed through here.”

“Your rudeness is extra obvious today, Genesis,” Sephiroth muttered. “Do keep in mind that we’re part of the reason this town has suffered so much.”

“Oh, I am very well aware. But I thought people were in recovery in ShinRa’s absence.”

An elderly voice greeted them as the two men approached the local Inn. “You fellas were wit’ ShinRa?”

Sephiroth glowered at Genesis for his cheek and nodded. “Formerly, yes. But we have very much renounced their policies and are just passing through.” Recalling Marlene’s advice, he hastily added: “Mr. Wallace was kind enough to give us a ride from Costa del Sol.”

To their shared surprise, the old man at the Inn started laughing so hard, he dropped the pipe from his mouth and slapped his knee. “Ain’t no one calls Barrett ‘Mr.’ nothin’! You fellas must have pissed him off somethin’ wicked to afford him that silly moniker!” Still chuckling, the old man stood up and staggered into the inn with a cane supporting his weight.

“C’mon, boys, I’ll show ya to yer luxury suite.”

Genesis hefted his own bag and cast Sephiroth a sidelong glance. “At least you made him laugh.”

Sephiroth rolled his eyes and followed the elderly man inside.

 

After they spent the night in Corel, Sephiroth and Genesis took the cable car over the desert and to the Golden Saucer. It had never been in Sephiroth’s plans to stop there, considering one of his clones had threatened the owner for information, but Genesis _insisted,_ for reasons only known to Genesis.

In fact, once he was in more “civilian clothes,” Genesis dragged Sephiroth from their room and out to the Station, just to make a show of the places they should visit. The Terminal Station was filled with others on vacation, reading the signs for every attraction branch, some jumping into the tubes while others carefully lowered themselves in until they could no longer hang on.

“What are you in the mood for? Gaming? Gambling? Perhaps showing off our skills in Battle Square?” asked Genesis as he stroked his chin in thought. “Event Square has a play going on. We could always mock the terrible acting if it’s bad.” His hips shifted from one side to the other as he seemed to weigh his options.

Sephiroth rubbed at his temple while Genesis peacocked beside him. “Do what you want, Genesis. This insipid music is giving me a migraine.” He walked away and pulled the phone from his pocket, intending to find a quiet place to talk. He had not spoken to Cloud and Zack in days; unexpectedly, he really did miss them terribly, even if it only had been a few days since leaving.

Wandering away from Genesis, Sephiroth cast a quick look over his shoulder before leaping into the Wonder Square tube. After tumbling through the pneumatic tube and finding himself launched like a ragdoll onto a landing pad at the other end, Sephiroth rolled over and grumbled.

“I’m going to kill him for this…” he said, staggering to his feet and sweeping aside the tangled curtain of his hair.

“Goin’ ta kill someone, laddie? That’s not a very good fate fer anyone,” piped a voice, small and cheery.

Sephiroth turned around and glowered in the voice’s direction. He saw other patrons, who all looked away from him at his death glare and one of those bouncy mascots as had already accosted them outside of the Saucer. It looked like a black and white cat with a little crown on its head, perched atop an overweight Mog.

Much to Sephiroth’s shock, the mascot addressed him by name.

“Oi, Sephiroth, don’t stand there lookin’ so angry. This is Wonder Square, lad. Are you here to play one’a the games?”

“…I… What the hell are you?”

“Rude! I mean, I’m not _Rude,_ but you certainly are!” The cat seemed to grin at him just before it pounced from its perch to land right by Sephiroth’s foot. “Th’ name’s Cait Sith. We’ve met before. Can’t figure out why ye don’t remember me, lad. Fought with Cloud and his friends against you for the Planet, I did.”

Sephiroth cringed and shuffled away from the animatronic puppet. “When one is an amalgam of bodily horrors, one might overlook a _talking cat_.” He clenched his phone tighter, ready to chuck it at Cait Sith if the thing got too close. He had no idea why the basted puppet unnerved him so – perhaps the lack of eyes on a far too cheery face – but it _did_.

Cait Sith’s mouth dropped open and the doll went rigid. The throaty laugh of a man over a microphone floated through the cat’s mouth. “Ha, I had heard that you learned a few things about humor since staying with Cloud.”

“Who…” Sephiroth pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath. “Tuesti?”

“I’m flattered.”

“So, this is your game now, to spy on me?”

Reeve’s laugh echoed under the theme park’s music. “Not at all. I have several Cait models out in the world, watching over many places, communicating with local authorities in case there’s any sort of issues.” Reeve paused a moment, and the Cait doll put a gloved hand on its hip, as if the cat were impatient to let its creator use it as a telephone. “How do you think Cloud knew to go to the Forgotten City? There’s a Cait Sith patrolling around there, on a Tonberry companion.”

Sephiroth grimaced and took a step back. “I… see. If that’s all, I’m going to go.” He held out his phone and pointed at the blank screen. “Find a quiet place to call Cloud.”

“Very well, but before you go…” Reeve trailed there. Cait’s mouth clicked shut and then it rubbed its face.

“Much better! I don’t mind lettin’ the bossman have a word or three, but that was a long conversation.” Cait Sith turned on its heels, tiny cape flaring dramatically behind it. “Now, I’ve a job I do here, lad.” It bounded up into the Mog’s arms, which placed Cait back on its overstuffed shoulders. “Would ye like yer fortune read?”

“I…” Sephiroth gaped and nodded. This whole scenario was just a little too odd. He had not expected to have someone check up on him, let alone Reeve Tuesti, and especially not through one of his AI devices. Cloud had described Cait Sith before, but Sephiroth’s imagination had severely lacked when it came to just how cartoonish – and slightly creepy - the dolls were.

“Well, I’ll read it for ye anyway, if you’re goin’ to just stare.” Cait rubbed at its head with both hands, as did the Mog underneath it. After a moment, a little card popped out of the Mog’s mouth. The whole thing waddled forward, staring up at Sephiroth with button-black eyes, expecting him to take the card.

“Thank… you…” Sephiroth took the little white card from the Mog’s mouth and turned to make his retreat when Cait stopped him.

“Well, g’won! Read it already!” the cat urged.

Sephiroth raised a brow and turned the card over. _“You may only be one person in the world, but to one person you may be the world... Your Lucky Color is Indigo!_ ” Sephiroth turned the card back to the other side, greeted with a little stamped icon of Cait Sith’s face. “Thanks. I think.”

Cait and the Mog waved to him. “Come back any time, lad! If ye need GP, get it from me at a discount!” The Mog winked, as Cait’s eyes were little more than happy curves on its face.

“I… will?” Sephiroth pocketed the card just as he turned, only to be greeted by another familiar face.

Genesis had popped out of the Terminal tube and landed much more gracefully than Sephiroth had. He stormed over, all false fury and indignation as his finger went right into Sephiroth’s face. “You thought you could just _ditch_ me? I thought we were friends!” Genesis pouted, sticking his bottom lip out as far as it could go before bordering on grotesque.

“You were just going to drag me all over this garish theme park!” Sephiroth held his hands up in surrender just as Cait Sith’s Mog hopped into view beside him.

“Now lads, don’t get into a fight! Save it fer Battle Square!” the cat said cheerfully. The Mog bounced on the balls of its feet, bobbing between them.

Genesis turned his attention on Cait Sith. “You! You’re that little robot of Reeve’s!” He jabbed the doll in the chest enough times to make Cait swat his hand away with a flap of its own gloved paws.

“One of them, aye. I am supposin’ you’re the babysitter who let Sephiroth outta yer sight, then?” Cait replied, arms folded over its furry chest. “Given up on tryin’ ta flirt with Vincent, then? Because Cid’s been ridin’ that pine longer than you’ve known him, lad, and I think Highwind’s got a better gamble than you—“

Genesis balked at the accusation and turned his finger from Sephiroth’s face to Cait’s. “Now listen here, you furry little-“ He snatched Cait from its perch and shook the doll. The Mog tugged on Genesis’ belt in retaliation.

“GUYS!”

Cait and Genesis stopped their argument – Cait’s hand shoving at Genesis’ face and Genesis growling back - and stared at Sephiroth, who even seemed surprised that he had raised his voice. Clearing his throat, Sephiroth pried Cait from Genesis’ grip and placed it back on the Mog.

“I have a headache, and you’re both making it worse. I just slipped away, Genesis, while you weren’t looking. I was trying to find someplace quiet,” he said. “And I really didn’t need to be reminded that Genesis was flirting with my father.”

Cait backed up his Mog and bounced up and down for attention. “Oh! You’ll be wantin’ the Gondola, if you want some quiet. Here.” Cait bopped the Mog and two tickets popped out of its mouth. “Above the whole park, it’s nice an’ peaceful. Heckuva a view, too. ‘Twould be romantic if ye were here with a date. A peace offerin’, with my apologies, lad.”

Sephiroth frowned, but plucked the tickets from the Mog’s mouth anyway. “Thank you.”

Cait and the Mog bowed to the two men, just before it bounced off to greet a bunch of children who came down from the Chocobo Square tube. The kids all clapped and surrounded Cait Sith and the Mog, hugging the mascot like it was not slightly terrifying.

Sephiroth took a deep breath and began to hand over the tickets to Genesis. “I’m sure you can flirt yourself up a date to take,” he started. Instead, Sephiroth had Genesis link arms with him and haul him, bodily, toward the chute for Round Square.

“Don’t be obtuse, Sephiroth. _You’re_ my date.”

“What?!”

 

Genesis made good on his plan to keep Sephiroth with him. Arm in arm, Genesis made sure they went through the tube together, though their landing was a little rough with Sephiroth unable to catch himself and Genesis anchored to Sephiroth. Still, the landing pad made their exit less painful than Sephiroth’s drop had been in Wonder Square. After a playful attempt at fixing Sephiroth’s hair, Genesis grinned brightly and pulled Sephiroth along.

To all those who were watching, Sephiroth realized he must have looked like the put-upon boyfriend, to have him look so miserable while Genesis gleefully tugged him along. They were behind on where Sephiroth wanted to be, two days wasted that could have been travel because Genesis insisted on coming to and stopping at the Saucer, when they could have used desert transport to skip the place entirely.

The bastard even snagged his phone when Sephiroth’s attention had been lost to another passing mascot, honking at him about how “romantic” Gondola rides were.

“Here, darling, why don’t I hold that for you?” Genesis asked in a honeyed voice, snatching the phone from Sephiroth’s grip and tucking it into his back pocket. The only way to retrieve it would be to grab Genesis by the ass, and Sephiroth was sure that was part of his insidious design.

Once they were in the gondola and lofted into the sky, Genesis finally let go of Sephiroth’s arm and sat across from him on the spare bench.

“There, now that we’re well and truly alone and you can’t just flee. Let’s talk.”

Sephiroth shook his head and looked toward the gondola’s window. “That’s why you dragged me up here? To talk? We have done plenty of talking.”

“Ah, yes,” Genesis began, holding up his index finger. “But you have avoided the topics I wish to discuss. Where shall we begin?”

Leaning back against his seat, Sephiroth spread his arms across the top of it and outstretched his legs. If Genesis wanted to interrogate him, then two could play that game.

“Perhaps with a question: Did you visit the church before we departed?” Sephiroth asked, his gaze low at first until the word ‘church’ came up. He smirked when Genesis jumped and frowned.

Dropping his arm to fold both over his chest, Genesis replied: “We’re supposed to be talking about you.”

“You didn’t say goodbye to Angeal? Did you even pet his dog?” Crossing his ankles and slumping down in his seat, Sephiroth could just touch the other bench with his toes. Genesis crossed his legs at the knee and turned away from Sephiroth’s encroaching posture.

“That… _mongrel_ is not my Angeal. It’s an avatar, certainly, but my dearest…”

Sephiroth smirked and pressed harder. “You don’t want to see him.”

Genesis huffed and kept his head turned away. “I don’t want him to see me. When you… when you fended me off with _his_ blade…”

“Cloud’s inheritance from Zack.”

Gritting his teeth, Genesis replied, “You defended yourself with Angeal’s weapon. It felt like a twofold stab in the heart. You’re not worthy to handle it. Something should have prevented you. A lightning bolt from the heavens. An earthquake. It shouldn’t even have been _there…_ it should be in Modeoheim, or maybe the scorch mark that was Banora. But not in Midgar.”

Sephiroth pulled himself back up and sat forward, leaning into Genesis’ space from where he sat. “It’s just a sword, Genesis. It might have been _his_ sword, but it’s not as if it’s some holy weapon…”

“I know that!” Genesis clapped his fists on the edge of his own bench and swung himself in Sephiroth’s direction. The Gondola groaned and swayed with the sudden movement. “But it’s not merely **a** Buster Sword. It’s the one Angeal took care of, now serving as a shrine marker… not even to _him,_ but to **Cloud’s** lost loved ones.” Genesis turned away and dabbed at the corners of his eyes with the back of his hand. “Where is Angeal’s altar? Or even a tombstone dedicated to him? Or us? Were we truly not worthy of memorial?”

Sephiroth bridged his fingertips and looked down before he answered. “The closest memorial to me is the statue to Meteorfall. A reminder of my defeat. I doubt anyone truly mourned my demise. Even if they did, I was no hero, and they’re very misguided.”

“Of course, ShinRa would deny our existence… probably to save money on carved marble,” Genesis murmured. “Probably just sent out a company email like usual. ‘You know those people who we genetically engineered to lead you all? No you don’t.’ Some PR cover-up, undoubtedly.”

A bitter laugh fell from Sephiroth and he nodded. “It’s cheaper to deny we existed than to remember us with a tribute. The president wasn’t even cold before Rufus took over.”

Genesis snorted. “Little brat probably just taped a sign to his office door-“

 _“Here lies a greedy bastard. Rest in Pieces._ ” Sephiroth supplied, and both of them began to laugh. It overtook the both of them, until both men were hoarse from laughing and tears streaked down their faces. After a few minutes, it was hard for Sephiroth to tell if either of them were really laughing or just crying, but it felt good to release a little pressure.

Genesis rubbed at his flushed cheeks once they had begun to settle down. “I needed that.”

Sephiroth smirked and nodded. “As did I.” He looked over at Genesis, a more relaxed smile growing on his face. Genesis, in response, turned away quickly and scooted toward the end of his bench.

“I missed you,” Genesis muttered at the window. “As much as I hated you.” He gestured toward the gap between them. “This… lot we have now…”

“Genesis.” Sephiroth moved from his bench to beside his old friend, even dared to put an arm around his tense shoulders. When Genesis realized the embrace for what it was, he turned in Sephiroth’s grip and pressed closer to him. “I’m sorry,” Sephiroth whispered.

“As am I,” Genesis replied, the words soft as he spoke against Sephiroth’s chest. He sighed and Sephiroth could feel him drop weight against his body, not so much leaning as he was sagging into Sephiroth’s side.

_“There is no hate, only joy… For you are beloved by the goddess… Hero of the dawn, Healer of worlds.”_

Genesis lifted his head and stared, eyes wide and blinking quickly. “How dare you quote LOVELESS at me when you’re not even available!” Genesis pinched his cheek, but instead of it hurting, it only served to make Sephiroth laugh again. “What was that for?”

“You know what!”

Sephiroth snorted and leaned back. “No. What?” Genesis pushed on Sephiroth’s chest with an indignant huff. “For using a context-appropriate quote of my beloved poem when you’re not even single!”

“I’m not…”

“Not officially, but it’s _there,_ Sephiroth. Once Cloud gets over his hang-ups, it’s just a matter of time before you sweep him off his feet and live happily ever after.” Genesis poked at his chest. “As much as I may flirt with anyone able to consent, I’m no homewrecker.” He got up as the Gondola finally completed its circuit and deposited them at the exit point.

Sephiroth gripped the overhead rafter as he fought for balance on the shifting Gondola. “Wait, I wasn’t trying to-“

Genesis put his open hand in Sephiroth’s face. “I know you weren’t flirting. I’m not even sure you know _how,_ but you could have gotten me into bed with that a _long_ time ago if you weren’t so poetry-adverse.” Genesis thanked the gondola attendant who helped him down from the steps and began to leave Sephiroth behind.

“Genesis, wait for me.”

“Oh yes, I have your phone.” Genesis stopped and pulled the device from his pocket, all but chucking it right for Sephiroth’s head. It was only by the grace of reflexes that kept Sephiroth from earning a black eye and a broken phone.

Sephiroth shook his head and strode quickly to catch up with Genesis, the phone tucked away in his own back pocket. Once close enough, Sephiroth snagged Genesis’ belt and used the momentum of his escape to spin Genesis around and catch him against one of the resort’s ticket booths.

“Your mood swings are giving me whiplash,” Sephiroth began. He pinned Genesis against the wall with a knee between his legs and a hand on either side of Genesis’ waist. “If I offended you-“

“No, no.” Genesis tipped his head back and struck the wall. He placed his hands over Sephiroth’s wrists. “It was just… talking about Angeal, wondering if he’s ashamed or proud of me, knowing you’re on the cusp of starting a family while I, once again, am on the outside while you get everything you want…” Genesis moved his hands up Sephiroth’s forearms and used the advantage to pull himself closer. Sephiroth dipped his head down and hugged Genesis to his chest.

“I really don’t know if I’m as lucky as you think I am,” Sephiroth murmured.

Genesis sniffled and looped his arms around Sephiroth’s waist. “Oh, you are. It’s practically laid out for you.” Once again, Sephiroth could feel Genesis dropping his weight against him, but Sephiroth was ready for it this time and kept Genesis from slumping to the ground.

Sephiroth’s voice strained in reply, “And if it isn’t?”

“Perhaps, then, we can be miserable together.”

Taking a deep breath, Sephiroth could smell Genesis’ cologne and shampoo; he curled his arms around Genesis a little tighter and exhaled slowly. The distant music was less irritating, and the long trip around on the Gondola had helped to clear his head.

“Let’s go around the park,” Sephiroth suggested. “If we’re going to be here for the night anyway, we may as well explore it.”

Genesis looked up and pushed his chin just into Sephiroth’s collar bone, just enough to make him wince. “You promise you’re not going to be mopey and stare at your phone? They can survive without you. Even if you’re not there to wipe Zack’s nose or kiss Cloud’s ass. As cute as it is.”

Sephiroth took a deep breath and nodded, not taking the bait Genesis set out for him. He still wanted to call Cloud, talk to his son, even if Zack might not say anything back. “Yes. I can live without calling them right away. For tonight.” He licked his lips and continued. “We can start with the theatre… as long as _you_ promise to not heckle the actors.”

A smirk graced Genesis’ lips and he pulled out of Sephiroth’s arms. “So, you _do_ want to go to Event Square.”

Sephiroth put his hands on his hips and looked away. “As if I could keep you away from it. I may as well suffer while you’re in a good mood so we can get this evening over with.” He dropped his arms and schooled his face into a more serious expression. “This will probably be the last chance we have to ‘relax’ before we head to the mountains.”

Genesis groaned and passed Sephiroth, snatching his wrist as he went by to tug him toward the tube marked ‘EVENT’ in glowing neon. “And our last chance to bathe like civilized humans. I wish our room had a hot tub. I’d love to just strip nude and enjoy some nice hot water.”

“Why must you say things like that when we’re in public?” Sephiroth asked with a soft groan in his voice.

Genesis teased, in a soft murmur:“To make you picture me naked, of course. And anyone else who might be interested.”


	2. Can't Pretend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shenanigans continue at the Golden Saucer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Minor warnings for references to (fake) blood and death. Be safe, my dears. <3

Cloud never imagined that he would really miss Sephiroth.

Convoluted emotions aside, the house in Costa del Sol began to feel very big, very empty and very lonely with everyone gone. Cid and Vincent had taken off for Rocket Town in the Highwind. Barrett and Marlene took Sephiroth and Genesis with them on their way to Corel. Kunsel had taken the ferry back to Junon.

The house was so silent now, just Cloud, Denzel and Zack. It reminded him of just why he chose to not use the beach house as his home; when the house was full of all his friends and the communal feeling of family settled into the nooks and crannies, then yes, the beach house was not so lonely.

Silence and a mournful longing permeated the cracks and crevices. While the kids were a distraction in the waking hours, Cloud discovered his bed felt too big, too vast. A desert made of sheets and salty air greeted him in the evenings when he turned in, Zack and Denzel sharing a room for their own convenience.

Cloud had considered moving into one of the guest rooms – even the one that Sephiroth had used – but the snag of his pride kept him from making the change. He did not consider himself so needy that he wanted to curl himself into the same bed, bury his face in the pillows and hope to draw out just a little bit of Sephiroth’s scent.

He never considered himself _needy_. He did think himself rather pathetic when he swapped the pillow that Kunsel had used for the one in Sephiroth’s room, however. As he laid his head down and inhaled deeply, breathing in what slight scent remained after washing (he might have been pathetic, but he still had _a little_ dignity left), Cloud closed his eyes, wondering how Sephiroth was tolerating his travels with Genesis.

 

_“Oh, princess! One must carry with dreams of the Planet to the Goddess! But none have made the journey and returned alive!”_ A “knight” in tin armor that clanked when he walked strutted across the stage in Event Square, his blue satin tabard catching the stage lights and making it look like he had been doused with a bucket of water. _“I should carry it for you!”_

_“My dearest knight, it is my duty to carry those dreams. Even if I never return, I must, for the sake of all!_ ” replied the Princess, draped in an equally shiny pink gown, with a crown of flowers on her head that were so large, Sephiroth could barely tell the young woman had eyes. Combined with the heavy-brown wig she wore, he was impressed the girl had not fainted from heat exhaustion.

_“My love, my princess, I can’t let you do this!”_ shouted the knight, waving his arms toward her for effect. Sephiroth curled his upper lip and leaned back in his seat. Hojo had given him the fortitude to withstand all manners of physical violence, and he considered himself fairly well equipped to handle most psychological torture.

Most.

Genesis sat forward in his seat, a hand over his mouth and his eyes fixed on the stage. Since the horrible “play” began, Genesis had not said a word to Sephiroth, appearing to study every movement and line as if they were pieces on a chessboard and Genesis had a game going against the absent playwright. Sephiroth would have snuck away to leave Genesis to his review, but a solid hand on Sephiroth’s knee kept him from getting too far.

_“I must go into the forests, and carry the dream to the Goddess before the Demon wakes. Goodbye, my love…”_ The princess of the story mimed walking away and the backdrop rotated behind her, passing through trees and over field and snow until the stage went black. Some stagehands darted through the shadows, setting up the next scene.

The stage lights came up again, and Sephiroth sat forward in his chair. He could feel Genesis looking at him, but Sephiroth paid him no mind. The Princess’ dress was simpler than her original gown – still pink – and the girl knelt in the middle of the stage, her hands clasped in front of her, around the “magic” stone she had been carrying with her.

Sephiroth felt his chest tighten. The Knight had followed the Princess and discovered her location; they had begun to converse - but whatever they said to one another washed away to the sound of Sephiroth’s blood rushing in his ears as he watched. One hand clenched at his shirt above his heart.

_They didn’t… they couldn’t have…_ he thought, staring at the stage. His lips parted as his jaw fell slack, watching the knight raise his sword above the heroine’s head, then turn away, unable to complete the act. Sephiroth was no longer listening, but he could feel it, anticipated it…

The lights on the stage flickered as a black clad figure descended in a harness, swooping down with wide, demonic looking wings. In the strobes of light and color, the Demon character had appeared and killed the Princess.

“Sephiroth, you’re shaking.” Genesis voice came from somewhere behind him as Sephiroth got to his feet and ran for the door. Above and around him, he could hear the Knight character sobbing in despair and the Demon character’s laughter.

“Sephiroth, where are you going?!” Genesis shouted after him.

He was easy to follow. Sephiroth pushed through people and knocked over a costumed character. Without apology or acknowledgement, Sephiroth made his way through patrons and employees until he came to a stop against a post. Hands clasping at the pole, Sephiroth rested his head against the cold metal and tried to stop the world from spinning around him. Crouching down, Sephiroth held onto the signpost and huddled there.

Among the din of noise and angry patrons, Sephiroth could hear Genesis apologizing and protesting, separating patrons with much more aplomb than Sephiroth had. As soon as he reached Sephiroth, he knelt on the concrete beside him and laid a hand on Sephiroth’s shoulder. A sharp twitch had Genesis recoil, but he attempted to make contact again.

“What was it? What happened?”

“The play. It… it was like… when I…” Sephiroth shook his head. “I killed her. I’m a monster.”

Genesis frowned. “Sephiroth, it’s just-“

“NO IT’S NOT!” he shouted, curling himself up tighter and finding that he could not get any smaller. “It’s not just a play. That happened.” Sephiroth began to tremble and his breathing came in gulps and gasps. “I’m the Demon.”

“No.” Genesis shook his head. “Regardless of how accurate it is, you’re not… you’re not a demon. You’re not a monster,” he said.

Sephiroth rubbed his face with his shoulder, unwilling to release his death grip on the signpost, even if it had started to groan with strain. It was all that he had to anchor him to the world. Cloud and Zack were too far away. Genesis did not understand. He had been doing so well, had been ready to make a better life for himself and repair his friendship with Genesis…

“I was…” Sephiroth groaned. “You were right, back then…”

Genesis squeezed a hand under Sephiroth’s arm and looped the other across his back. “No, I was angry, and in pain…” he began.

Beside the two of them, Reeve’s voice interrupted. “Is everything okay?” The Cait Sith that had pestered them in Wonder Square now approached cautiously, with the Mog standing away. Sephiroth peered over his arm, feeling his eyes burning as he stared at the animatronic doll.

“Your cat thing is creepy,” Sephiroth grumbled.

Genesis snorted at Sephiroth’s remark and cast an apologetic look back to Cait. “He fled from the play. It wasn’t _that_ bad…”

Cait rubbed at its chin before Reeve’s voice floated through again. “What was the title of the play? They were supposed to be doing a romanticized version of LOVELESS tonight…”

“This wasn’t LOVELESS. The announcer said it was something new?” Genesis offered.

Sephiroth watched the exchange for a moment longer before his fingers became numb and he slipped back, falling onto his rear on the concrete ground. He looked away from Genesis and Cait to stare at his raw fingertips.

“Oh no… not _The Planet’s Wish_ …” Sephiroth could hear Tuesti say. “I told them that it was in poor taste. I don’t know who is behind this, but I am so very sorry…”

Sephiroth turned his head; his muscles felt loose but his head felt heavy, as if stuffed with sand. His extremities tingled from pinched nerves and his arms drooped at his sides. Like a ragdoll of himself, Sephiroth barely felt any control over his body. “Who told them?”

Genesis placed a hand on Sephiroth’s shoulder. It weighed a thousand pounds but Sephiroth remained upright, somehow. “Told them what?”

Reeve sighed through his microphone and Cait shook its head. “The play is… well, a fantasy version of the events leading up to Meteorfall. The princess who sacrifices herself to save the Planet…”

“Aerith,” Genesis guessed.

“Right.”

Sephiroth’s lips moved. While he watched a cluster of ants walking away with their prize of a lost popcorn piece, he spoke to Genesis and Reeve. “I descended upon her like a devil from the sky and ran her through with my sword while Cloud and his friends watched, helpless. Then, I reveled in my victory…”

Genesis’ arms wrapped around Sephiroth’s waist and he felt like he was being dragged to his feet by a Malboro’s tentacles. “We’re going back to the room,” Genesis declared.

Cait nodded for Reeve. “Fine. If you need anything, call the service desk and just ask. I’ll comp your stay for the night, and anything else you might need. He… doesn’t look so good.”

“I don’t feel so good,” Sephiroth agreed. His feet were under him, and his arm was over Genesis’ shoulders. They were at Event Square at some point, and then Genesis had dragged him into their room in between a moment where Sephiroth had closed his eyes to blink and reopened them to see once more.

Unhooking Sephiroth’s arm from over his shoulders, Genesis sat on the bed beside him. “You are much heavier than you look.”

Sephiroth nodded and pressed his lips together, trying to recall their trek from the signpost to their room and coming up blank. Not that the details were that important, but he knew it was probably not a good sign. The lack of noise and people certainly made a difference.

“I ran away,” Sephiroth murmured.

Stretching his arms above his head, Genesis nodded in response. “You did. I believe that was a panic attack.” Genesis leaned into Sephiroth’s side and looked up through his silvery bangs. “How do you feel?”

“I don’t recall the trip back here.”

Genesis frowned and shrugged. “Well, at least you know you don’t remember. Perhaps this was a bad idea. We should have just crossed the desert.”

“You wanted one last glimpse of civilization before we left it,” Sephiroth replied. He stared at the floor and found the carpet’s swirly pattern to be a strain on his vision. Getting to his feet, Sephiroth covered his eyes and attempted to grope his way to the bathroom.

Genesis’ shoulder pushed up under Sephiroth’s grasping arm and his hand gently took Sephiroth’s wrist. “Where are we going?” he asked, far quieter than Sephiroth could ever remember Genesis being.

“Bathroom.” Sephiroth felt his stomach lurch and his hand left his eyes to grab Genesis for balance. He squeezed his eyes shut and allowed Genesis to guide him away. “I feel sick.”

“I can tell.” Genesis held onto Sephiroth as they both slowly knelt on the floor. “I don’t think I’ve ever had to walk you anywhere.” He rubbed circles on Sephiroth’s back while Sephiroth tried to decide if he was going to throw up or not.

Slowly edging his eyes open, once he saw nothing but bright white and blue tiles greeting him, Sephiroth took a deep breath and felt his nausea subside. The bathroom had been spared the rest of the room’s “haunted” appearance that matched the rest of the hotel, and Sephiroth felt his tension beginning to ease.

“I think I’m going to take a shower,” he said, beginning to get to his feet on his own.

Following Sephiroth up, Genesis put a hand on his shoulder. “Need anything from me?”

Sephiroth gave Genesis a wan smile. “I’m not so bad that I need you to bathe me, Genesis. Thank you.”

Genesis nodded his head and left the bathroom, for Sephiroth to take his shower.

 

Once alone in the room, Genesis laid across his own bed and rubbed at his eyes. Twenty years ago, he might have lorded over Sephiroth’s panic attacks and hesitant behavior. Twenty years ago, Genesis was an asshole to one of his closest friends, and now that he realized the damage done, regretted his choices in the past.

_“Dreams of the morrow hath the shattered soul…”_ Genesis murmured to himself. “What good is a person who broke his friend’s heart?”

Sephiroth had come to his consolation while they were in the gondola. _This_ Sephiroth, the man he knew now, was far divorced from the man Genesis had tormented in Nibelheim. He looked the same, had all his physical strength and abilities. However, what had made him _Sephiroth_ , the General of ShinRa’s army, hero of the Wutai War and Silver Devil; his pride in himself, his confidence, his assertion as a leader and commander… those parts of him were shattered. Not completely gone, but certainly in pieces.

Genesis stretched across the bed and let his arms dangle off the edge. He followed the spider webs painted along the ceiling with his eyes as he thought about all the reasons Sephiroth was in such a state: Never knowing his origins, never having a family… until the one he tried to build for himself turned their backs on him.

“No,” Genesis muttered, frowning at the ceiling. “I did not turn my back on him… he simply did not choose to join me…us. He could have left. He could have-“

Genesis’ thoughts came to a halt when he heard a shout from the bathroom, followed by a crash. On his feet and at the door in a flash, Genesis barged in to find Sephiroth on the floor, wet, naked and staring in horror at the bathroom walls.

There was little need to doubt what Sephiroth saw that gave him such a fright; the walls and towels were smeared with bloody handprints and splatters. The shower curtain looked equally gory, as did the shower mat, with perfect impressions of Sephiroth’s feet before he lunged away from it all.

“What in the hell is this?” Genesis demanded. He helped Sephiroth off the floor and tried to wrap a towel around his waist, but it was just as bloody looking as the rest. Sephiroth swatted it out of his hands and grabbed Genesis’ face with cold fingers.

“You can see it too?” Sephiroth asked. His eyes brimmed with tears and Genesis felt pity turn his stomach. No ShinRa SOLDIER had ever looked so frightened without being branded a coward.

“Yes, I can,” Genesis replied, finding himself in a soggy embrace almost immediately. “It’s real. Are you hurt?” he continued, so pressed against Sephiroth’s chest that he could hear his heart beat like a jackhammer.

“I thought I was seeing things… I didn’t… I thought I…”

Genesis took a deep breath and squeezed Sephiroth tighter. “No, it’s not a hallucination. You don’t have that kind of influence over me,” he teased, pushing back enough to see Sephiroth’s face. With the ill humor falling flat, Sephiroth bit down on his trembling bottom lip and he did not meet Genesis’ gaze.

Taking a deep breath, Genesis moved around Sephiroth. “Well, you’re not seeing things and you’re not injured…” He picked up the gory towel from the floor – it left no bloody trace on the vinyl below it, but felt soaked through all the same. Frowning, Genesis picked a dry towel from the rack and ran water from the shower over it – bloody red blossomed across the white fabric in the same manner.

“It’s a gag,” Genesis growled. “The blood appears when it’s wet…” He threw both towels down and put his hand on the shower wall. Just a lick of a Fire spell danced over the tiles and the heat made more handprints and smears flow into existence. “Heat and water reactive… it’s all a _trick._ I know this is supposed to be a ‘haunted hotel,’ but you can’t even _bathe_ without drowning in their terrible aesthetic?!”

Behind him, Genesis heard the sink running and he turned. Sephiroth had hot water steaming from the sink and surely enough, the words “HELP ME” appeared as if written by a ghostly hand.

Genesis crossed over to Sephiroth’s side and put a gentle hand on his shoulder. “It’s all an illusion,” he said. “Some clever paints and dyes. That’s all.”

Sephiroth nodded and stared at his reflection through the ghostly words on the mirror. “I wasn’t ready for it.” Genesis tried to ignore the dry crack in Sephiroth’s voice, the utter relief that it was literally smoke and mirrors.

“I imagine that’s what they aim for here, but it’s truly insensitive.” Genesis rubbed along Sephiroth’s damp arm and took his hand. “Let’s get you back into the main room. I think I shall phone the desk and rip them apart. Verbally, of course.”

“Okay.”

Genesis frowned. ‘ _Okay,’ he says…_ Genesis led Sephiroth by the hand and sat him on his bed. He grabbed a fresh towel, gory though it might turn, and wrapped Sephiroth’s hair in it. When he was comfortable, he pressed Sephiroth’s cellphone into his hand.

“Call Cloud. Let him keep you company while I have _words_ with the management.”

 

Cloud jerked his head up from his pillow; he had just started to doze off when his ringtone startled him awake. Rubbing at his eyes, Cloud managed to answer before it would switch to voicemail and grumbled into it.

“Hello?”

“Did I wake you?”

“Sephiroth? Um… kinda…”

Sephiroth’s voice trembled on the other end. “I told Genesis it was too late…”

Cloud rolled over and sat up in his bed. “Seph, what’s wrong? Where are you? And what in god’s name is that noise?

A long breath came from Sephiroth on the other end. “We… stopped at the Golden Saucer. Genesis wanted one more breath of civilization before we left it and…”

Cloud waited for more, but when all he heard was Sephiroth’s heavy breathing and someone shouting in the background, he prompted Sephiroth to continue. “And what?”

“I had a panic attack… there was this play…”

Cloud listened intently as Sephiroth recounted the play. The play, his meltdown, and the terrible sight that greeted him in their trick bathroom – all leading up to the phone call. By the time Sephiroth finished, Cloud’s free hand had balled so tight that his fingers began to go numb.

“So, Genesis is…” Cloud asked through grit teeth. The mere contents of the play had him ready to pull both kids out of bed so they could all go to the Saucer – Cloud wanted a word with Dio himself, now.

“In the hallway, conversing with management,” Sephiroth replied. He sighed and Cloud could hear him moving on the other end. “It’s really not that big-“

Cloud cut him off. “No, it totally is a big deal. It’s not just _you,_ but anybody with a traumatic past in a place like that is gonna freak out. I’d probably shit right in the tub. You know, out of spite.”

Sephiroth chuckled on his end and Cloud felt a little relief wash over him. “You would, wouldn’t you?”

“I would. I don’t recommend you doing it now, though. Wait until you’re ready to leave. _Then_ shit in the tub.”

“I’m not going to traumatize the cleaning staff.”

Cloud laughed. “Why, does it smell that bad?”

“Cloud!” Sephiroth’s voice sounded merrier – just talking about something so juvenile appeared to help.  He laughed softly on the other end, for a few moments, until he sniffled. “I miss you.”

After a long pause, Cloud replied, “Zack misses you. He keeps watching the front door like you’re going to stride back in.” Cloud cleared his throat and continued. “He… he’s not the only one.”

“Does Denzel miss me too?”

Cloud huffed and licked his lips. “You know who I mean.”

“Say it.”

“I miss you, too, you big asshole.”

Sephiroth laughed again. “That’s all I wanted, you little shit.”

From his end, Cloud could hear the door opening. “That Genesis, back from laying into the staff?” he asked, amused by the notion of Genesis being That Kind of Customer. The image suited him, strange as it was to imagine.

“No, it’s the owner,” Sephiroth murmured.

“Of the hotel?”

“Of the Saucer. He is waiting… I think he wants to talk- yes, he wants to talk to me.”

“Dio?” Cloud glanced toward his phone. “Okay, before we hang up, tell him you know me and to ‘call Mukki for once.’ But only if he gives you shit. Really though, he needs to call Mukki.”

 

On the other side of the phone call, Sephiroth raised a brow, looking at his phone. “I will call again later. Goodbye, Cloud.”

“When you’re free,” Cloud confirmed. “Later.”

Sephiroth sat, clad in just the towels from the bathroom, looking up at the large man who entered; in over fifteen years, Dio’s personal style had barely changed. He still strode about in very little clothing, if only to show off his musculature. The handlebar mustache looked smaller, however. With those memories intact in his mind, it was more of a surprise that Dio still remembered _him,_ considering the situation was vastly different.

“Sephiroth,” said Dio. He sat on Genesis’ bed, facing Sephiroth, an elbow propped on his knee, his fist on the other. “You look well for a dead man.”

“Diet and exercise,” Sephiroth replied with a dry tone. “What brings you here?”

Dio leaned forward; the movement made all his muscles stand out. Sephiroth was as unimpressed now as he was back then. Dio’s muscles were all show, just like the rest of the Golden Saucer. “I understand you have a problem with the entertainment here.”

“I do. The play was tasteless and the gory bathroom is uncalled for.” Sephiroth removed the towel from his damp hair and held it up. “I am not the only war veteran in the world. An option to avoid such horrors would be good. Hotel space that is not driven to terrify its guests would be better.”

Dio stroked his chin as a show of thought, sitting up slowly to continue his peacocking with his body’s build. “I can understand your position. But guests love the unexpected-“

Sephiroth took a deep breath. He just wanted the conversation to _end_. “Cloud says you should call Mukki.”

In a split second, Dio dropped his Flexing Strongman act and stared openly at Sephiroth, mouth slightly agape. “Cloud Strife? What does he know of—no, I know he knows Mukki. How do you-?”

Sephiroth averted his gaze for a moment, toward Genesis, who was rejoining them in the middle of their talk. “Cloud and I are roommates.”

Dio sat forward again, but there was no showmanship in his movements this time. “Look at me, young man.”

Turning his head, Sephiroth gazed right back at Dio. He had no idea what Dio searched for in his worn out expression; the half-lidded eyes or the somber downturn of his lips. It not like the inquisitive gaze of a scientist or the desperate glancing of an enemy. Dio’s eyes only moved slightly within Sephiroth’s own gaze before the old showman stood up and clapped his hands together, loudly. The sudden break of contact made Sephiroth release a held breath.

“I see now,” Dio said. “You are not the same young man who challenged me for the Keystone. My apologies for your discomfort.” Dio turned away from the pair and started to take his leave. “If you find yourself in the Golden Saucer again, please contact me immediately. You can stay at the Honeymoon or VIP suite as my guest. Good evening, gentlemen.”

Sephiroth looked to Genesis. “What did you say to the management?”

“Me? I merely yelled at them for their insensitivity to those with traumatic pasts. Dio just waltzed past me in here without a word to me.” Genesis sat on his bed again, in the dip where Dio had sunk himself. “What was that whole…” Genesis gestured to his eyes and then to Sephiroth. “Thing?”

“I think he was looking for something…” Sephiroth ventured. He stood up and took off the towel, discarding to the floor. He stayed on his feet long enough to pull back the sheets to his bed and then flopped into it, exhausted. “Maybe a hint of the man I used to be.”

Genesis snorted. “Infinite in mystery is the gift of the Goddess. And the wisdom of old gay men, apparently.”

Sephiroth chuckled and covered his face with both hands. “That’s awful.”

Genesis got to his feet to disrobe for bed. “You laughed. Now, get some rest. We’ve a long flight ahead of us tomorrow.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thank you all for your patience! I had meant to get this out by the middle of August, but... well, life got in the way and I lost the feel of how I wanted this chapter to conclude. 
> 
> For those keeping score, the chapter title is taken from Tom Odell's "Can't Pretend." You can hear it and more here, on my Sephiroth playlist: http://8tracks.com/urza-b-j/a-better-man#smart_id=dj:8004845


	3. Meguriai

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sephiroth meets Lucrecia.

Were Sephiroth a poetic man, he might have come up with appropriate words to describe the landscape he flew over, Genesis beside him. Arms across each other’s backs, the pair of men made better travel time working as a team. The winds around the crater were harsh, and Sephiroth voiced his hesitation more than once to Genesis. Not merely because at the apex was the cave that held Lucrecia, but because it began to feel like the Planet itself disliked the idea of their meeting.

It would be appropriate, Sephiroth reasoned, to keep two of the most concentrated sources of Jenova cells away from one another. Who knew what that much in one place would conjure up? Just a little made Cloud doubt his sense of reality and bend to Sephiroth’s will. Sephiroth had no idea just how saturated Lucrecia had been. _Was._

Genesis threw his bedroll at Sephiroth’s head and told him he was being paranoid.

Still, the sense of dread settled in Sephiroth’s stomach as though he had swallowed a lead weight, and stayed with him all through the night and into the morning. The wind had whipped up terribly, howling, screaming, and cold. Sephiroth found it reminded him of Mt. Nibel, which they were still many miles from. It also forced back recollections of another crater, one in which he had met his fate at the end of Cloud’s sword; another life, another death.

“You’ve stopped again,” Genesis called to him, closer to the crater’s rim than where Sephiroth had paused. He looked down on Sephiroth with something close to pity in his eyes.

It was that very reason that Sephiroth started walking again. He did not deserve pity. As he passed Genesis, he heard the man mutter beneath his breath.

“After you, then.”

Once they had made it to the crater’s rim, the vast lake hidden within was just as described by Cloud; almost perfectly round, nestled beneath the peak with clear blue water from the ocean it led back to. Sephiroth counted himself grateful that the Weapons had not used the natural caverns below to make their appearance on the surface; a beast large enough would have destroyed the crater, and with it, Lucrecia’s cave.

“There it is,” Genesis said, pointing down to a small inlet between the rim and the lake shore. A small strip of land had claimed a tiny foothold in the crater and a copse of trees had sprung up, nearly obscuring the entrance to the cave. “I wish I had a decent camera. This is quite beautiful… unspoiled…”

“Perhaps because she is down there,” Sephiroth offered, taking the lead as he began to descend into the crater itself.

“Righteous possession of what little you have seems to be a familial trait,” Genesis teased after him, but Sephiroth chose not to respond.

Now that he was here, his goal close, Sephiroth’s heart beat in his throat, even though the weight in his stomach grew larger, almost to the point of making him sick. He had even skipped his breakfast ration, too anxious for this meeting to eat.

 

Rocks and dirt skittered away from his boots as Sephiroth slid down the side of the crater; the winds that had beaten at his limbs and pulled on his coat were a gentle breeze inside the small ecosystem of the crater. The outer rim had felt like a wall of ice and snow could have descended upon the two of them, but within the lake’s range, the air was cool, but not frosty. The lake danced with light from the sky above; so clear was the water that Sephiroth could see all manner of sea life that had wandered into the crater and decided they liked it there. Only the lake’s very center seemed like a foreboding void compared to the pastoral surroundings.

Genesis skidded to a stop beside Sephiroth and paused to dust off his pants. “I half expected to startle a little deer, coming down into a setting like this.”

Sephiroth chuckled and picked a strand of hair off his lips. “It does have a picturesque quality to it.”

“Too bad that it’s basically a crypt.”

Turning with a sigh, Sephiroth shook his head at Genesis. “Just when I begin to think we’re on better terms, you have to speak.”

Genesis held his hands up in defense. “I’m not wrong! That’s how Valentine described it.”

Sephiroth rubbed at his forehead and took a deep breath. “No, you are right. In his way, that’s _exactly_ what Vincent called it. You two should start a poetry club.”

“Very funny.” Genesis fanned his hair back from his face, also caught in the crater’s light, almost playful breezes. “He should have come. The three of you…”

“We’ve been over this.” Vincent had turned Sephiroth down. It was an experience that Sephiroth should have alone, and after reflecting on the idea, Sephiroth agreed with his father. _Father…_ still a foreign concept, but Vincent’s wisdom was not without merit, regardless of their relation. “I have to confront her myself.”

“You’ve already confronted a lot lately,” said Genesis, and not without a hint of guilt in his expression. “Are you ready for this?”

“I have to be, at some point.” Sephiroth looked toward the larger landmass, the area that led to Lucrecia’s cave. Now that they were at the lakeside, they were much closer to their… Sephiroth was closer to _his_ goal. The trees covered the entrance from that angle, but he knew it was still in there, waiting.

Genesis nudged him with both hands. “Well, get going. I told you I will push you if I need to.”

“You _are_ pushing me.”

“That’s what friends are for.”

Sephiroth huffed, but smiled for a moment before he began walking. Genesis was trying to help, and doing a damned sight better than Sephiroth thought he personally was capable of doing. He knew wishing was folly, but sometimes he did feel a wish to return to the past, to be the friend Genesis needed, to hold himself back, if only to keep things from going wrong as they had.

“You are a good friend, Genesis.”

Sephiroth’s comment made him stop, and Sephiroth turned back to look at him.

“Do you know how long I’ve wanted to hear that?” Genesis asked.

An eyebrow raised. “I said that after we left Golden Saucer…”

“I know you did, and it was appreciated, but this is the first time…” Genesis approached and hugged Sephiroth tightly, enough that Sephiroth felt his lungs straining to expand. “That I felt like you cared for me…”

Sephiroth gave up a strained laugh and closed his arms around Genesis. “It’s never been easy for me to…”

“No, I know.” Genesis loosened his arms and sagged into Sephiroth’s grip for a moment. “I think it just… really struck me, just now. You’re scared. I’m scared for you. You’ve never met this woman…”

“I don’t require a briefing… I know what’s going on here…”

Genesis pinched his side and looked up. “But that’s what I keep thinking of. This is a big moment for you. And I’m nervous for you, my dear. You may not wish to admit it, but you’re anxious as well. Come here.” Genesis reached up and pulled Sephiroth down to his level. Before Sephiroth had the chance to protest the awkward angle, he felt a light smack of lips against his forehead.

“I’m going to be right outside,” Genesis reminded him.

Sephiroth smiled and felt his face heat up. He thought to make light of the situation – _why need her when you’re going to mother me? -_  but he felt it inappropriate and the joke died on his tongue. Swallowing, Sephiroth turned and faced the short pathway leading to the cavern.

The distance to the cave entrance was only a few feet to walk from where Genesis would wait for him, much shorter than any trail he had ever hiked, but it felt like a death march. His legs were heavy and the boots that had gotten him through every sort of terrain imaginable suddenly felt restricting; the belts tightened around his muscles until his feet went numb. The sleeves of his coat became taught around his arms and his fingertips tingled as his gloves made first contact with the edges of the cavern.

Taking a moment to compose himself and drive off the illusions of being strangled by his own clothing, Sephiroth did not look back before he dragged himself into the cave, gripping the narrow passage opening and pushing through. If he had looked back… he might not have gone in.

 

The cavern path was long and dark, but it opened up, slowly, the further he went in. Despite being thousands of years old, the stalactites were not so imposing, the water dripping along the wall did not lend to an odor of mold or decay, or even the hint of low tide at the beach. It smelled like fresh rainfall. Sephiroth wondered if there were some meaning to that; he licked his lips and the mist that hung to them was probably the cleanest, most un-tainted water he had ever tasted.

Where he expected salt and ruin, he found flourishing, subterranean light and a kind of purity that should not have rightly existed. Not with how the world was damaged now. As the cave began to open up, he recalled Vincent and Cloud’s accounts of how they had found Lucrecia’s caverns, their personal reflections on the location, and discovered that words really failed when the path opened itself up to him.

The shimmering walls were imposing as the muted light from sharp fragments of Mako crystal broke through layers of black granite. Light pulsed through the Mako as if each spire had its own heartbeat, dimming and brightening in slow intervals. The very center of the chamber held the largest formation, the cell where Lucrecia’s body stood, entombed, just as Vincent had described.

As bright or as dim as the light may have gotten around him, Lucrecia’s face still looked healthy and warm, as she remained asleep in a matrix prison of her own making. How Lucrecia had managed to conduct or command the Mako to form around her body was an intriguing question, but not the one Sephiroth had come to ask. Though the crater outside was cooler, the Mako chamber held its own warmth, but it did nothing to help the chill Sephiroth felt roll up his spine. He swallowed thickly; this was his mot- _no,_ his thoughts wavered unsteadily upon the notion - This woman gave birth to him, and then punished herself for her involvement.

Sephiroth’s chest tightened as he tried to think of her as his mother, the woman he had sought for a long time, someone who he simply wanted love from, whom he had never met until now. He moved up to the water’s edge, where he recalled Vincent telling him he would sit and simply be with her for hours. A mix of pity and empathy for his father pulled a weary sigh from Sephiroth as he stood there, simply observing.

_Did I look like that?_ Sephiroth wondered, recalling the Mako structure that had held onto his corpse for four years while he healed, waiting for Cloud to deliver the Black Materia. _No,_ he thought, _Not like her… she seems to be at peace…_

“Sephiroth.”

His name whispered like a distant wind, Sephiroth turned around, expecting Genesis behind him, only to find that Genesis had kept his promise to stay outside.

The voice called again, stronger, and distinctly feminine now. Sephiroth looked toward Lucrecia’s sleeping form; his lips parted as he drew his breath in and held it, listening.

“My son.” Lucrecia, at least he _hoped_ he was hearing Lucrecia, spoke, without movement from the Mako surrounding her. “I’m sorry.”

Sephiroth’s breath caught in his throat at her words. Even though her voice was full of sorrow, every emotion he thought he would feel in that moment turned sour and painful.

“You’re _sorry?!_ How could you let him do that to you? How could you let me be _born_ like that? Why couldn’t you leave?” Sephiroth felt himself shaking as he dropped his arms to his sides; the nervousness and the hike getting to him, and the explosion of emotion in that moment drained him almost instantly.

The cave fell silent when his words finished resonating off the stones as Sephiroth waited for something. He felt a chill on his face and realized his cheeks were warm and his vision had begun to blur. He wiped tears from his eyes and turned away from where Lucrecia stood, his question unanswered.

“Why couldn’t _you_ leave, Sephiroth?”

When her reply came, Sephiroth pulled his hand away from his eyes and looked toward her.

“I had nowhere to go,” he said. Sephiroth lowered his head and rubbed at his face once more. “And neither did you… the only man who tried to save you, Hojo disposed of…”

“You know she never makes anyone _do_ anything,” Lucrecia said, instead of letting Sephiroth continue with talk of Vincent. “Jenova. It… _she…_ enhances what a person is capable of. Anger, pain, misery…”

Sephiroth tightened his lips and swallowed the lump in his throat. “I know. My anger… just grew stronger with her… but it was always there… everything. Everything I am capable of, she made stronger, but it was all within me… those people…”

Rocks and dirt bit into his knees, through the layers of his boots and pants beneath as Sephiroth hit the ground. He wrapped his arms around his waist and held on, listening to water drip and the small pool of water lap toward the edges of his coat.

“That’s not all you are, is it? Angry? Hurt? Confused?”

Sephiroth hissed, “Stop.”

“Then, why are you here?” she asked.

Sephiroth sniffed and rubbed at his face. “I came because I needed to. Isn’t this what people call ‘closure?’ I found you. It’s over.”

“Is it?”

Sephiroth turned and sank onto his rear. “I… don’t know.”

Lucrecia was quiet for a few moments before she resumed speaking. “I know it isn’t. I know you couldn’t have come here without help from someone as to my location. Who told you?”

Sephiroth looked up to the Mako structure. Lucrecia remained within, unmoving, with her hands folded together. “Vincent and Cloud. They-“

“Cloud sent you?” Lucrecia’s voice was surprised, and the cavern grew just a little warmer.

Sephiroth nodded and shifted where he sat. “Cloud’s my… roommate.”

“Your roommate.” Sephiroth did not think Lucrecia could sound incredulous while also being a disembodied voice, but she managed, somehow. “Sephiroth, what is he to you?”

Sephiroth craned his head back and looked up at the ceiling as he thought about his response. A single drop of water fell from the ceiling and jabbed him in the forehead while he procrastinated in answering. He huffed and wiped the droplet away as he looked at Lucrecia again.

“He’s become everything to me. Too much, I think.”

The voice was quieter, present before him instead of a ghostly echo. It sounded like it came directly in front of him instead of floating around him ominously.

Taking a long breath, Sephiroth crossed his legs under him and picked at the buckles near his knees. “He defeated me. He was just another fanboy of mine, a hapless cadet whose home I destroyed… like many others before him, and yet… he wielded a sword far too big for his body against me and won. I broke his mind and corrupted his thoughts, made him my puppet, and yet…” Sephiroth snorted. “Yet. Yet, yet, yet… However. But. _Despite_.” Sephiroth got to his feet and rubbed at his cheek with the back of his hand.

Sephiroth began to pace. “I had been the most feared and respected SOLDIER, warrior, _monster_ this world has known, and still, this small...” He paused and pulled on the lapels of his coat, “… _boy_ , a runt kicked around by his peers, too small to last but aching for a fight, for someone to take him seriously, put a Buster Sword heavier than he was through my torso and ended my first life.” He turned toward a rock wall and stared at it, through it, searching his own memories. “He made me angry, and yet… heh… _YET._ I was relieved, perhaps, to die.”

Looking back at the stone structure Lucrecia remained in, he watched her for any sort of reaction and listened to water dripping around him. “You’re not saying anything.”

“I’m listening. Isn’t that what you’ve wanted? Someone to listen?”

Sephiroth covered his eyes with the heels of his palms and pushed inward, ignoring the dirt on his gloves. “Is that what a mother does? I don’t know anymore. I don’t know what I want.”

“You took Cloud seriously.”

“Huh?” Sephiroth dropped his hands and looked at Lucrecia as to make sure he had heard her correctly. “Of course I did. When someone stabs you, you tend to pay attention,” he snorted, his breathing getting heavier.

The walls of the cave tittered with wind like laughter. “But _you_ took _him_ seriously. You were his idol. He wanted you to respect him. Is that why you keep coming back to him?”

“I… well, I had never been beaten.”

“And your thoughts became all about him. About Cloud… and your thoughts still linger on him, even though he’s away from you now.”

Sephiroth cringed and rubbed at his forehead. “I’ve been obsessed with him. I can admit that.”

“Is that what it is now? Do you feel the need to continue fighting him?”

Lucrecia’s question was one that people asked him before, months ago, by a vision of himself and by Aerith. What had brought him back in the first place: Cloud? What always drew him back to the world of the living? His answer was still the same.

“I’m so tired of fighting. I just want…” Sephiroth’s voice trailed off. His mouth fell slack and all he could hear was the blood rushing in his ears. “I want to go home. I want to be with my son… and Cloud.” He sniffed and rubbed at his eyes. “My apologies. It’s been… an uncomfortable week.”

“Never apologize for your feelings, my son.”

Sephiroth nearly jumped out of his skin and took a step backwards. Lucrecia’s voice came from right beside him again… and her hand rested on his arm for a brief moment before he moved away. Lucrecia looked up at Sephiroth, tears in her own eyes. Inside the Mako crystal, she was radiant, ghostly, almost an idol to be worshipped in a remote temple. Standing before him, flesh and blood, Lucrecia was solid, alive and _real_. No deity or saint; just a woman, clad in a white gown, looking up at him with so much sorrow, but a smile on her face.

“L-Muh—“ Sephiroth lost his ability to speak, and continued to stare down at this small figure; her eyes were the shape of his, and a natural green he could have envied his own for lacking were he not in shock.

“You are so handsome, my son…” Lucrecia held her hands in front of her face, looking up at Sephiroth. “You have Vincent’s jawline,” she said, reaching up to touch his face.

Sephiroth brushed her hand aside with his own, but she merely caught his hand in hers and held it with both of her own. He suddenly lacked the strength to pull his hand away while she placed her hand over his, marveling in the length of his fingers compared to her own.

“So tall – you get that from your father…” she trailed softly.

“From Vincent, yes,” Sephiroth corrected. He moved his arm to tug his hand free but had no will to really pull away from Lucrecia. She was there, flesh and blood and her hands were around his, anchoring him there, to the earth, to his past that he had been searching for.

Lucrecia ignored his reply and looked up at his face again, oblivious to the turmoil running through Sephiroth. “You have a son? When did you-“

Sephiroth limbs were stony and cold. He could barely move his jaw. “Adopted.”

Lucrecia nodded and curled Sephiroth’s fingers into a fist and laid her delicate hand over it. “I see. Is he…? How old?”

“Three. Zack.”

Lucrecia nodded and smiled. “Zack... He must be precious to you, if you’re thinking about him now.”

“It’s a long story,” Sephiroth swallowed a lump in his throat and nodded. His neck muscles ached with tension from such a small gesture. “…but he’s named for a friend of mine and Cloud’s, one who died saving Cloud’s life.” At least the focus was not on him. “He’s with Cloud now, in Costa del Sol.”

Lucrecia put a hand on his chest and gasped softly. “No wonder your mind is on them. You’re away from your family.”

“I am.” Sephiroth nodded again, the muscles in his neck releasing again. He carefully plucked Lucrecia’s hand from his chest and let it drop. “Zack was not happy when I left.”

“I wasn’t, when Hojo took you from me.” Lucrecia squeezed his hand with hers now, and she would not look up at him. “I never got to hold you. He just took you from me, said my part of the experiment was over.” Lucrecia began to shake. “I felt you, growing inside me for nine months, and I saw what would happen to you. I’m… so sorry… I should have left… before…”

Sephiroth began to reach for her, when Lucrecia pulled on his hand and looked up at him again. “You shouldn’t have been treated like that! I should have fought him, but I know he killed Vincent. I was scared that he’d harm you.”

“You were scared for _you_ ,” Sephiroth murmured. “Jenova fed his thirst to learn, pushing him beyond morals and concerns. You said it yourself, she enhances you.” He took a deep breath and pulled Lucrecia into an embrace. Lucrecia froze for a moment, then started shaking and wrapped her arms around him, sobbing more apologies.

_After so long… she feels so… frail…_ Sephiroth held onto Lucrecia and let her cry. A couple of tears of his own fell into her hair. One arm curled around her shoulders; she was warm, soft and _real_. His rigid posture unwound as he held onto Lucrecia – his _mother_ – and stood there in the quiet cave, letting her cry into his coat.

A few minutes more, Lucrecia pushed back from his chest and wiped at her eyes. “I’m so sorry, my son… I just… you deserved better. I could have – “

“You couldn’t,” Sephiroth interrupted. “I could have left, escaped ShinRa and lived the rest of my days as a fugitive… was that what you wanted to say? ‘I could have left, but they would have found me, killed me, or worse, dragged me back…’ I had all those same thoughts, once.”

Lucrecia stood there, looking up at him, her hands clasped together, sniffling. “You wanted to run.”

“I had plenty of reasons to leave, but one to stay. It was the only place I could be a monster. No one dared call me such… to my face. But I always felt it. Who would have accepted me outside of ShinRa, where monsters were made every day?”

“But-“

Sephiroth shook his head. “Please… you might have been able to blend into the world, but me? With this…?” He gestured to his pale face and alien green eyes. “Someone would have given me up. For money or revenge. I was the dragon guarding ShinRa’s hoard, well fed and kept on a short leash.”

“Sephiroth, stop.” Lucrecia put her hands on his shoulders. “You’re not a monster. I am. Hojo was. We made you… you’re _not_ this Planet’s greatest Calamity, and you’re not Jenova’s inheritor.”

“Then, what am I?”

“You’re a man. A confused, damaged man who misses his family.” Lucrecia reached up to cup his face with her hands again, but once more, Sephiroth brushed her away, more aggressively than before. She frowned and pulled away, drew out of his reach. “You should be with them. Someone who loves you. Your son. Cl-“

Sephiroth cut her off, speaking through his teeth. “Cloud doesn’t love me. Not… not the same way.”

Lucrecia closed her eyes and held her breath before speaking again. “He cares enough to send you to me. You were looking for me your whole life. Did you get what you wanted?”

Sephiroth turned on his heels and headed out of the cave. “Yes. Thank you for your time.”

 

Outside, Genesis had removed his coat and stretched out on a flat rock near the cave entrance when Sephiroth stormed out. He had just covered his face with an overly large leaf to keep the sun out of his eyes when he heard footsteps coming.

“Well?” Genesis sat up and let the leaf drop onto the copy of LOVELESS in his lap. Before he got his coat on, Sephiroth delivered a missive:

“I’m going to Nibelheim,” he said, picking up his travel kit. Unfurling his wing, Sephiroth took to the sky.

Genesis nearly gave chase before he stopped when a feminine voice called out from the cavern exit. Turning to see who it was, Genesis was greeted with a woman in white, shielding her eyes from the sun with her hand. She looked small and delicate, and leaned against the mountain for balance.

Looking between the black dot in the sky that was Sephiroth, and the woman fighting gravity with everything she had, Genesis took a deep breath.

“Oh, _Hell_.” He approached the woman and extended a hand to her. “You must be Lucrecia.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for all the feels, guys. Sephiroth does not handle emotions well.


	4. -Slip-

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cloud finds out that Sephiroth flew away. He has some conversations with particular folks about that.

“Denzel, could you get the phone?” Cloud called from the bathroom. He was wrist deep in bathwater, after Zack had an encounter with local ocean life, leaving him covered in sticky gunk. Zack looked miserable, more than when Sephiroth left, earning him an hour-long bath before bed.

Denzel leaned in the doorway with Cloud’s phone in hand and cleared his throat.

“It’s Genesis. He says it’s urgent.”

Cloud stopped moving, stopped _breathing._ He pulled Zack out of the water and wrapped him in a towel. “Denzel, could you-?”

“Yeah, sure.” Denzel switched places with Cloud, helping Zack get dressed for bedtime. Cloud took his phone back and left the boys in the bathroom, standing out in the hall.

“What happened?”

Genesis huffed on the other end. “About time. Sephiroth flew away.”

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Cloud took a deep breath. “Why didn’t you fly after him? Aren’t you both abl-“

“Because I have another issue at-“

_“Is he coming?”_

Cloud’s back hit the wall as he fell against it, stunned. “Genesis, is that Lucrecia? Are you in the-“

“No. I can’t explain everything myself, she’s-“

_“Let me talk to him.”_

The phone passed over, and Cloud heard the familiar voice of Lucrecia, though distinct and clear. It had been years since he had met the woman’s sleeping form, but he would never forget her voice.

“Cloud, he’s gone. It’s all my fault,” Lucrecia said, once she had figured out Genesis’ phone. “He’s gone to Nibelheim.”

Cloud slumped to the floor and put his head in his free hand. “F---mmf…” He smeared his hand over his mouth. Zack had taken up parroting words at random since he first told Sephiroth he loved him; Cloud swallowed down many expletives as he sat by the bathroom door. “What happened?”

Genesis took the phone over again. “Better to explain when we see you again. I have already informed Highwind of the situation. He said to ‘get your asses ready’ because he’ll be there soon. Well, in fewer polite words than that, but you know.”

Cloud groaned and tilted his head back until it thumped against the wall. “I knew I shouldn’t have let him go with you.”

“I appreciate that…”

“That’s not what I m-“ Cloud choked and blushed a furious red at his own choice of words. “Sh—I’m sorry.”

Genesis sighed on his end. “Forgiven. We have a much larger problem than yours with me. I will see you shortly. I think I hear the airship now.”

True enough, Cloud could hear the roar of the _Shera’s_ engines as she approached, drowning out Genesis’ closing remark before the call ended, leaving his phone to beep in the silent hallway.

“Cloud? What’s wrong?” Denzel stood over him, Zack in his arms, tired and pruny from his bath.

Getting to his feet, Cloud hugged the both of them. He regretted letting Sephiroth see Lucrecia alone. And now he was going to Nibelheim. Where everything began and ended. “We need to go. Pack up your stuff. I’ll get Zack ready to go. You two are going with Mr. Highwind to Rocket Town.”

“Rock Town?” Zack questioned. Cloud smiled and ruffled Zack’s hair.

“Yeah, you’re going to Rocket Town with Uncle Cid. You’ll get to meet your Aunt Shera.”

Zack frowned at Cloud. Whatever the little boy thought, Cloud was convinced that Zack knew something was up.

“Daddy too?”

Cloud grunted and took a deep breath. “Papa’s gotta go get Daddy. Then we’ll meet you there, okay? But first, we have to go on the big airplane.”

Zack pushed away from Denzel until Cloud took him into his arms. Cloud held onto Zack, rubbing his back gently. “You scared, buddy?”

“Papa, Daddy okay?”

“I hope so, Zack. I really do.”

 

Cloud tucked Zack into bed with Denzel in their room on the _Shera,_ having once again to promise that everything was going to be okay, that Cloud just had to go “pick Daddy up” and they would all be back together in Rocket Town.

Zack’s worried face as he closed his eyes told Cloud that the boy was not convinced, that he knew, somehow, that Cloud was lying to him, but he could not figure out just how or why. Cloud hated to lie, when his face must have betrayed what he was thinking; there was something wrong with Sephiroth, that he was worried, too.

When he closed the door behind him and left the boys to find his own quarters, Cloud nearly jumped out of his skin when Lucrecia appeared at his side, ghosting up beside him without a sound. How nearly the entire family – Vincent, Lucrecia, even Sephiroth on the right occasions – could just simply _appear_ in silence was irksome at best.

A hand over his fluttering heart, Cloud took a deep breath and looked up at Lucrecia. He wanted to accuse her of “doing something” but he was just too tired. “Can we do this away from their room?” he simply asked, walking down the hall without giving Lucrecia a chance to answer.

“Of course,” she said. She looked toward the boys’ room door and then back to Cloud. “I did not get to meet my grandson,” she lamented. “You put him to bed so fas-“

Cloud spun on his heels and put a finger in her face. “Look, I know you… want to make up for lost time, but I don’t know you. I really don’t. So, I don’t want him calling you ‘grandma’ until I know I can trust you with him.”

Lucrecia pulled her shawl further around her body and looked thoroughly chastened. “That’s fair. All you know about me-“

“Is from Vincent, who was in love with you. I can’t… well, I don’t want to base my opinion on his rose-tinted memories. They’re the only good ones he has. So, I don’t want to ruin the image he has of you, either,” Cloud said. He climbed the stairs and led the way into the map room, where it was quiet and gave them space.

Cloud leaned with both hands onto the back of a chair, gripping the leather seat back until it groaned from the stress. “What did you say to him?”

Lucrecia took a seat and put her hands in her lap. “We talked… about my role in Sephiroth’s birth, how I was too afraid to leave Hojo… about you.”

“Back up,” Cloud said, taking long breaths as he circled the table, sitting across from Lucrecia. “I wanna know one thing: Did you know what you were getting into with the Jenova project?”

“I didn’t know that-“

“Yes or no. Did you know you were making an enhanced human?”

“Yes.” Lucrecia put her hands flat on the table, spreading out her fingers. She did not meet Cloud’s gaze, looking at the table top instead. “That was the point of the project. To create a superior human being, using alien DNA and Mako to enhance the human body.” She picked up a hand and curled her fingers until she pointed at Cloud. Looking at him, she continued. “But that was not _my_ Project. My work, what I had done… the remains of that experiment are Vincent Valentine and Chaos.”

Cloud licked his lips and nodded. “Okay, then. Why did you volunteer to host Sephiroth’s… host his embryo?”

“Because none of the other methods were working.” Lucrecia looked down at her hands again, taking several long breaths before she explained. “With Genesis, or Project G, he was the first. Genesis was our attempt at infusing an embryo with Jenova DNA – J cells – while it was in the early stages of development. He was the only one to make it to term and be born. Shortly after, Gillian Hewley became pregnant, a second test, a much bigger success.”

“Angeal.”

Lucrecia nodded. “Gillian had been treated with Mako and J-cells, which made her body a suitable host environment for Project A. Angeal. Neither of them were perfect, so Gillian raised Angeal and Genesis was given to the couple in Banora, where they could be observed. Hojo was the only one to… create a child that not only could be deemed stable, but actually showed signs of his cells being perfectly blended with that of Jenova’s DNA. I was treated with Mako and J cells, and Hojo… well, he had tried, but the J cells barely took to him. His long term, low-level exposure to Mako had actually made his body resistant to it, so the J cells didn’t affect him until much later. But Vincent…”

Cloud leaned back in his chair. “Sephiroth knows a lot of this. Vincent found Hojo’s studies and had the whole thing archived with the WRO. Even his selection as Sephiroth’s father.”

Lucrecia looked up from the table. “If Vincent hadn’t been available, I think Sephiroth would have ended up like Genesis and Angeal. The Chaos mutation actually stabilized Sephiroth’s DNA instead of the J cells simply tearing apart his base genetic code.”

“That’s really fucked up,” Cloud replied. He folded his arms across his chest. “Is that what you wanted? For your project, I mean?”

“Hell no.” Lucrecia snorted and shook her head. She slumped in her seat and put her hands over her face. “I was just trying to save Vincent – Chaos was just… I was being selfish. But Hojo would have just cremated his remains, regardless of whether or not Chaos and the Protomateria had done anything for him. He only kept him around after that because he knew once was a success… and he wanted to make more. That’s really why I ran away. I couldn’t do that. I don’t know if Sephiroth would have been better or worse with siblings.”

Cloud chuckled and rubbed at his forehead. “You should have met Sephiroth’s self-made clones. Kadaj is what I imagine Sephiroth was like as a teenager. Except even moodier and way more dramatic before he calmed down as an adult.” He smiled in exhaustion. “Kadaj was just a kid… maybe they drove him crazy, Sephiroth and Jenova.”

Lucrecia looked up and laughed, but her eyebrows were furrowed. “Just a kid?” she asked.

“Yeah… Sephiroth’s clones were more like adolescents… _Larvae,_ according to Vincent… caterpillar versions of Sephiroth looking to, uh… pupate.”

“That’s an… image,” said Lucrecia, frowning in disgust. “Did they succeed?”

Cloud’s mouth turned to a deep frown. “Yeah, Kadaj did… to be whole. I felt bad for him. Jenova turned him into Sephiroth, but when I beat him… just up and vanished, I guess.” Closing his eyes, he remembered the feeling of rain on his skin, a young man dying in his arms. “I still feel bad for him.”

“I can tell.” Lucrecia leaned forward on the table, looking at Cloud intently now. “Is that what you still see, when you look at Sephiroth? An incomplete person?”

Frowning, Cloud got to his feet. “He’s not incomplete. He’s damaged, but he’s a whole man. Brought into the world by selfish people with selfish interests. You weren’t trying to make a person, you were trying to make a _weapon,_ and you came damn close, but in the end, he’s still a man.” He moved around the table, toward Lucrecia. “Since I’ve gotten to know him better, I know this. No matter what you people did, you couldn’t kill his ability to love.”

“I didn’t do-“

Cloud gripped the armrests of Lucrecia’s seat and turned her until they faced one another. “You took part. You gave birth to him. You might not have gotten to raise him, but you didn’t stick around, either. You just ran away. You did enough damage by not being there. You should see him now. He’s not the same man who burned down my village, and that says a _lot_ about what he’s been doing to prove himself different.”

Lucrecia stared up at Cloud’s face, searching his angry expression for some sort of pity, perhaps, or forgiveness. She sank back in her seat and dropped her head. “I know I was selfish and scared. I should have tried to stay…” Lucrecia covered her mouth. “You don’t know what Hojo was like.”

Cloud scoffed and pushed her seat back, rolling her away from him. He turned and headed for the door.

“Actually, I _do_.”

 

Cloud made it to the outer decks of the _Shera,_ wanting nothing more to be in Nibelheim and find Sephiroth. He leaned over the railing and looked into the gray mists swirling around the airship. The cold of the lower atmosphere hardly bothered him on a night like this – he would not even be able to sleep until he saw Sephiroth again. The sentiment would have sounded sweeter in another context.

He had no idea what Sephiroth wanted with Nibelheim; he knew the mansion had been purged of all its data and machinery. Nothing else remained there except…

“The reactor,” Cloud said.

“What about the reactor?”

Cloud turned and looked to find Genesis approaching him; his stance was wary and his expression concerned. Loosening his shoulders, Cloud gestured for Genesis to join him in brooding by the rail.

Relaxing his gait, Genesis turned his back to the sky so he could see Cloud’s face as he leaned on the guardrail. His posture looked casual but the look in his eyes was still a worried one.

“What was that you were saying?”

“The reactor. It’s the only place Sephiroth would go. The mansion’s got nothing left in it and he wasn’t a Nibel resident. Where else would he go?” Cloud asked, looking up to Genesis, as if he might have a better idea.

Genesis shook his head and sighed. “It’s where your story had a rather dramatic climax, is it not? Where Jenova’s body lay in wait, a trap to fray the last of his sanity, by his own caretaker, no less.”

Cloud frowned. “You really think Hojo wanted him to lose it?”

“Perhaps not ‘lose it’ so much as drive him away from humanity in ways that Hojo could not do alone. I know I did not help things, but Fair… I think he could have been a better anchor if Sephiroth had perhaps trusted him more.”

Cloud elbowed Genesis, lightly, but enough to be felt. “Well, if his trust hadn’t been so fucked up in the first place…”

Genesis waved Cloud off. “Guilty, guilty… But still, the whole thing was a trap… if the mission had been set up in Wutai or its allied territories, Sephiroth wouldn’t have gone. He would have seen it for the trap it was, but instead, he trusted ShinRa to let him go off on something so… _mundane._ ”

Cloud rested his elbows on the railing and stared at the world underneath the airship. Everything looked so peaceful from up there, and for what it was worth, the world _was_ peaceful, more than it ever had been in his lifetime, anyway. Somewhere, below, Sephiroth had passed through, angry once, and now…

“How did he seem? When he left?” Cloud asked.

Genesis turned and mimicked Cloud’s posture, leaning close. “Anxious, for Sephiroth. He simply snapped at me and then took off. I take that him leaving a direction is a good sign.”

“Better than the last time I chased him. I had to go on hearsay of ‘a man in a black cape’ passing through.”

Genesis chuckled. “Do people not know what a coat is?”

Cloud stifled a laugh with his shoulder. “Yeah, well, maybe it had been a clone. They had robes.”

“A robe is still not a cape.” Genesis grinned when Cloud laughed again. “Are you all right, though? Is this retreading old ground for you?”

Putting his hands on the rail, Cloud pushed himself upright and looked farther above them, toward the stars. He breathed deep for a moment and let it out slowly. “Yeah, it is. But I really don’t know what to expect now. I kind of laid into Lucrecia… I don’t know why she came along.”

“Maybe she’s trying to forgive herself. Isn’t that their whole thing? Lucrecia, Valentine, Sephiroth? Perhaps she wishes to help,” Genesis suggested as he straightened up beside Cloud. “From what I gleaned in our short time together, she doesn’t quite speak or act in direct ways.”

Cloud pinched the bridge of his nose. “No, I… I’m just so… _done_ with all of this. I want to find him, and bring him home.”

Genesis raised a brow. Snagging Cloud’s upper arm, Genesis pulled him close and looked down into Cloud’s eyes. “Do you really wish him home? With you and Zack?”

Jerking his arm away from Genesis’ grip, Cloud frowned. “Don’t be so damn dramatic. You’ve lived with us.”

“I have, and I have observed a lot in my time on your family couch. And I’ve noticed the way you two behave together, even when you had Kunsel between you. Sephiroth looks to you for so much; how to act like a ‘normal’ man,” Genesis actually crooked his fingers in an air quote gesture and Cloud rolled his eyes at him, “And he adjusts himself accordingly. Regardless of his feelings for you, he admires you, Cloud. You were able to go through hell – a hell that he created just for you – more than once and you came out…” Genesis paused to shrug. “Not as glittering gold, but tempered steel. Beaten until you were made stronger.” He pushed away from the railing and took a few steps out of Cloud’s reach. “ShinRa bent Sephiroth until he broke. He sees you as the stronger man, and chose to love you for it.”

Cloud hugged himself, feeling a chill sweep over him that did not come from the night air.

“I know. I think I’ve known for a while.”

Genesis folded his arms across his chest and smirked; he did not have to ask what he did next, but Cloud expected it when the question came. “Why didn’t you tell him you loved him back?”

Shutting his eyes, Cloud rubbed at his arm. “Because it’s fucking terrifying, Genesis. He tried to kill the world, and my friends, he used me… but now I see him playing with Zack and taking care of the apartment and he’s friends with Tifa… he put a scar across her body and now she’s his fucking boss! I mean…” Cloud gestured with his arms until they dropped with his voice. “I had to know it was real.”

“And it is?”

“Yeah… if it’s not real… I don’t think I want to wake up.” Cloud sniffed and thumbed a tear off the tip of his nose. “It’s not perfect, not by any means, but… I don’t think Sephiroth could warp reality like this. It’s painful, and confusing… and you’re here,” Cloud gulped and scuffed his foot against the deck. “I mean, why add someone who would create doubt?”

Genesis crossed the small gap between them and placed a hand on Cloud’s shoulder. “He’s not that creative. I’ve heard him trying to read to Zack.”

Cloud laughed and wiped at his eye. “I know. It’s like he’s reading a technical manual. At least it bores Zack to sleep.” He took a deep breath and looked up, feeling his face warm; Genesis had tilted his head up by his chin and looked down on him with a fond expression.

“You really are the one he needs. If only you’d come into his life sooner. I think things would have been much different for us all.” Genesis sighed, leaned down and pressed a light kiss right between Cloud’s eyebrows.

“Um, thanks.” Cloud looked up at Genesis, a little cross-eyed from the proximity. “Does this mean he’s not going to be your holy parolee anymore?”

Genesis fought against laughing and turned away, coughing into the crook of his elbow. “For Minerva’s sake, Cloud! We were having a moment.”

“It was too serious!” Cloud defended. He rubbed at his warm face, a little flushed from Genesis’ show of affection. “I could use a little levity, you know?” He put a hand on Genesis’ arm and looked up to him again. “I should thank you, too.”

Genesis sniffed and looked away from Cloud’s face. “For what? I’m doing my job, am I not?”

Cloud pinched Genesis hard enough to make him jump. “Don’t go getting stoic on me now. Not after I just made you laugh. You’re in this family now, Genesis. Even if you just lie on the couch and complain most of the time.”

“I don’t _just_ lie on the couch. I sit up, too.”

Cloud snickered and let go of Genesis’ arm. “You know what I mean. You’re… you’re not the kind of person I expected. I figured you were going to just bear a grudge against Sephiroth, prove him still ‘evil’ for whatever reason and drag him off to the Lifestream… or whatever divine punishment is.”

Genesis pulled at the lapels of his coat, shaking it out. “Were I the same man still, the one fading away as my body degraded… then perhaps I would. But, being your… let’s say, _live-in couch warmer_ … I have seen what good you have done for him. He smiles. His shoulders are less squared off and he slouches.” Genesis smoothed a hand over his own shirt as he contemplated his next thought. “He allows himself contact with others. No gloves, no thick coat, he puts his hair up… and I don’t just mean for you or even little Zack.”

“You noticed that? I mean, he kind of hinted at it… there were a lot of times, at first, when I would touch him and he’d jump, but…” Cloud rolled his lips together. “I hate to think I could have beaten him with a hug.”

“If anything, it would have certainly disarmed him, but for a moment’s advantage.”

Cloud snorted. “Yeah, but that’s kind of a dick move, too. Hug someone, just to stab him in the back?”

“Touché.”

After a moment of quiet following Genesis’ comment, Cloud kicked at the rubber floor of the deck. He looked down at where his foot hit, flicking a piece of pulled-up rubber with the toe of his boot.

“You know,” said Cloud, “When I find him, I’ve gotta tell him how proud I am of him… for doing so well. Maybe it’ll tamp down whatever panic attack he’s having if he just… if he has some reassurance.”

Cloud looked up when Genesis laid his hands on his shoulders. “Coming from you, Cloud, will make all the difference.”

Licking his lips, Cloud nodded. “I know. I just hope it’s not too late.”

Genesis squeezed Cloud’s shoulders. “I will back you up if need be. He might have been able to face Angeal and I unimpeded once, but… I don’t think he could fight you now, even if he thought he should. Even if you were after his life, Sephiroth wouldn’t be able to defend it.”

Cloud pushed Genesis back. “That doesn’t make me feel much better!” he shouted.

“No, I said that wrong…” Genesis held his palms out and took a step back to give Cloud space to breathe. “What I mean is… if you were to fight him, _really_ fight him, it would probably break his heart. I don’t think he’d have the strength to fight back, even if he were at his physical peak.”

“I don’t want that, either!” Cloud said. He turned around and grabbed his hair. “You know, I was beginning to think things would be okay, but you _kept talking…_ ” He moved completely away and dragged his hands over his mouth.

Genesis groaned. “I just mean that you should assure him that he has a place with you, with your family… I don’t think you want to fight him anymore than he does you!” Cloud heard footsteps move closer and then away as Genesis hesitated to approach. “I have seen it in the mornings, even while you were not romantic with one another, you’ve started a rhythm, an intimacy that cannot simply be imitated or faked.”

Cloud put his hands behind his neck and shuffled around in a circle, to face Genesis again. “Continue.”

Genesis smiled and turned his head. He made a show of flicking back his bangs, but Cloud caught the way his thumb dragged over his eyes. “It’s something I’ve come to miss, having someone beloved just there, together. Angeal and I lived together. You learn a routine and your body follows it like a dance.”

Pausing there, Genesis swallowed, but still sounded choked up when he finished, “You may have resisted the idea, taken in Sephiroth like a bitter pill. But, given time and effort, you’ve both fallen into a pattern with one another. I’ve seen it. Kunsel tried his hardest to fit into that dynamic…”

“But I didn’t really give him room,” Cloud murmured. His arms dropped to his sides and he sighed. “I think Kunsel was waiting for the shoe to drop, but he didn’t get bitter, or jealous, did he?”

Genesis shrugged. “Perhaps there was some resentment and he’s a fantastic actor, but I hardly knew the man as a Second. Only that I did _not_ wish to let the man in on secrets. There were rumors that he was actually a Turk, spying on us for the ShinRa family, but I don’t know how true that was…”

“Genesis. Shut up.” Cloud stepped forward and wrapped his arms around the taller man, buried his face in Genesis’ chest and he squeezed, tight at first, until he felt Genesis’ arms settling behind his back. “You talk way too much.”

Cloud heard the sigh gather in Genesis’ lungs and escape over the top of his head. One hand rubbed circles between Cloud’s shoulders and the other held him steady. For a moment, Cloud thought Genesis might actually take his advice, but laughed when Genesis spoke again anyway.

“I’m sorry, Cloud. And not just for my tendency to go on at length. For attacking you, for not believing you could be as strong as you are.”

Moving his head so his chin rested on Genesis’ collarbone, Cloud looked up; Genesis met his eyes and held them for a moment. “Apology accepted.”

Pushing himself away from Genesis, Cloud ducked under Genesis’ arm and headed to the door back inside the airship. “I’m going to get some rest before we end up in Nibelheim. You should probably take a nap too.”

 

The door behind Cloud slammed shut without Genesis immediately following him. Genesis clutched at his chest and staggered toward the railing. His head was swimming and his heart pounded in his ears.

_“My friend, your desire… Is the bringer of life, the gift of the goddess…”_ Genesis muttered. “I see now what draws you to him, Sephiroth…” Closing his eyes, Genesis inhaled deeply, feeling purified by the clouds passing the airship as the misty air clung to his coat. “He’s certainly a force to be reckoned with…”

Done musing to himself, Genesis headed back inside the airship to take Cloud’s advice. They would be in Nibelheim soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long! I wanted to have this up a month ago, but life was Stressful (TM) and I almost* felt like giving up. 
> 
> This one's pretty conversation-heavy, but I think it needed doing, particularly Gen and Cloud.
> 
> *I'm not going to give up on this project, which was why I pulled myself together and finished it this week and had it beta'd so I could get it to you guys before Thanksgiving. You readers are what I'm most thankful for right now. You guys keep me going. <3 Love you all!


	5. Will the Circle Be Unbroken?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cloud arrives in Nibelheim to find Sephiroth.

Nibelheim.

Where it all began, where it all ended, where they kept ending up.

Cloud stood beside Genesis at the gate, looking up at the sign that ShinRa had put up years ago; he grimaced at how it still looked too new. The painted was not peeled _enough,_ the rust on the iron supports not _enough,_ and the wood posts holding it all up, rotting from the dry mountain air were not broken _enough…_

“It still feels like a cheap imitation of home,” Cloud spat, his words dissolving into puffs of white in the cold morning sun.

Genesis lightly nudged Cloud with his elbow, not preoccupied with the sign. “Cloud, we have more pressing-“

“I know. Just…” Cloud inhaled deep, feeling the frost hit his head and almost knock the air back out of him. “It’s just that they built clean over the village… plastered over a cemetery with a poster to tell the world: Don’t look! Don’t listen to any survivors! No one’s dead!”

Cloud looked up when Genesis placed a hand on his shoulder. “My town was erased, Cloud. As much as I despised it for being a secret installation to monitor Angeal and myself… Banora was still my home.”

Tacking on a sympathetic smile, Cloud reached up and covered Genesis’ hand with his own before he took the lead. No houses were lit up or indicated that anyone was near – Cloud dug into his senses, to a part of himself he had managed to suppress and focused. He headed into the replica village without stopping to look around at the façade that surrounded him; past the ShinRa mansion and to the base of the mountain.

“He’s up ahead,” Cloud said, his voice flat and void of emotion. Feeling him out again, he could tell where Sephiroth was: The reactor.

The familiar, chilly wind brushed over Cloud’s skin like a hesitant embrace, welcoming him back to the mountain. Where Tifa nearly died, where he followed her, where she led them up the trail to the reactor. Every step was a memory, flashes of light and color held in sharp relief against the dismal gray of the mountainside.

Much to his surprise, Genesis kept his words to himself as they hiked; an offer had been made to fly Cloud to the top, but it was ultimately declined. The winds on the mountain could be harsh and rise suddenly, and the last thing they needed was a frigid gale to throw them into the jagged mountainsides. Better to walk. Slower to make it to the top, but it gave Cloud a chance to focus his thoughts and feel out the trail left by Sephiroth.

As they made their way up, evidence of Sephiroth’s passing marked up their entire trail. The corpse of a Nibel dragon lay before them at the halfway point. Cloud flashed back to the first time he had come here with Sephiroth and took a knee. Jamming his eyes shut against the painful flood of memory, Cloud shook his head to clear the fog. Genesis knelt beside him and sheltered him from the winds – Cloud thanked him and got to his feet when he felt better.

Another indicator was a series slice marks and gouges; large digs of a blade cut into a narrow passage and the remains of an avalanche. Pebbles and broken rocks, shattered and scattered, some boulders even exploded into dust.

Genesis looked up to where the avalanche might have come from. “Do you think he heard it coming? Or did he just hate being delayed?” he asked, trying to sound amused at Sephiroth being annoyed by a simple avalanche.

Cloud ran his fingers over a particularly deep gouge in the mountain pass. He took a deep breath, choosing not to answer Genesis’ rhetorical question. He leaned in closer to inspect the scar, the faint glimmer of metal dust left in the wake of a blade grinding against stone.

“This isn’t Ame No Murakumo…” Cloud muttered, rubbing the metal dust between his fingers. “It’s not this kind of steel.”

Genesis leaned over Cloud’s shoulder and inspected, what appeared, to him, like shiny dirt. “How can you tell? That looks like fine glitter to me.”

“Spend time in a metal shop. You’ll learn what makes what…” Cloud turned away from the rock wall and started up the path.

“How did you know?” Genesis asked behind him.

Cloud stopped and turned. “I make parts for my bik-“

“About the sword’s real name? The one Sephiroth bought. You knew it is not named Murasame. Why did you let him think he had you fooled?”

Smirking, Cloud shrugged. “Yuffie taught me what my name looks like in Wutain… ages ago. It’s literally written _on_ his sword. ‘Heaven’s Cloud.’ I didn’t want to tease him about being weirdly sentimental. He might have stopped, if I did that.” Turning, Cloud started up the pass. “If I have to be his anchor, I will. He’s doing better with one.”

Genesis followed Cloud, not wanting to be left behind. “But… what sword _was_ that, if not-“

“I think you know,” Cloud said, not pausing again.

 

Standing before the reactor again felt like stepping into the past. Cloud looked up at the old reactor, the rust, and the creeping, mutated vines and listened to the wind. Hardier birds than he recalled from his childhood flew overhead, their caws echoing as a somber portent. The skies were clear, sunlight catching the mountaintop and highlighting the aged structure with streaks of light.

“Has this place always reeked of Mako?” Genesis asked. He stood beside Cloud and waited for an answer. When Cloud simply stepped forward toward the stairs, Genesis reached out and pulled him back by the shoulder. “Wait. We need a plan.”

Cloud’s shoulders sagged as he turned away from Genesis, pulling himself free. “Do we? I just want to go in there and see what’s going on.”

“But, if he’s not stable… he wasn’t exactly laughing when he left Lucrecia’s cavern.”

“I’d be more worried if he was,” Cloud retorted. “I think it’s better if I go in alone, though… you can back me up, but if he’s… no, he’s in the core… I can feel it.”

Genesis shook his head. “Then, I am most certainly coming in with you.”

Cloud pushed Genesis back and held him at arm’s length. “If he’s having flashbacks, you showing up is gonna make things worse. Please. Trust me. Stay outside the reactor core, at least.” Cloud looked up at the aged building and took a deep breath. “I think I know how this is going to end. But, if things go pear-shaped… get to Rocket Town. Don’t engage Sephiroth.”

Genesis balked and shook his head. “If he’s going to be destructive, I can slow-“

“No! I need you to make me a promise.” Cloud pinched the bridge of his nose. “I want you to take care of Zack. If Seph… if he’s lost, I want someone with Zack. And Zack loves you.”

Falling silent for a moment, Genesis closed his eyes. He nodded and leaned forward, putting an arm around Cloud’s shoulders. “I hope you can bring him back.”

“So do I.”

 

Cloud picked his way through the remains of the reactor slowly, a flashlight in hand, as he carefully stepped over fungus and slime molds. Keeping in mind the fact that one of those fungi nearly killed Cid, Cloud pulled his shirt collar up over his nose and mouth. Mako enhancements or not, Vincent and Genesis might have just gotten lucky. He did not need to make it to the core steps and have some angry mushroom spore him to death.

Reaching the steps, Cloud looked up and shined the flashlight over the letters above the core’s entrance. “JENOVA” still hung over the door, rust creeping across the letters and making them appear broken. But, no amount of rust or mold could erase the image in Cloud’s mind. Even if it had fallen away, Cloud would always be able to see it there in his memories, Sephiroth standing underneath it. Even now, he thought he saw a ghost of Sephiroth shoving the door open, even though it had been broken back then, joining the rest of the reactor in rotting.

“Here goes nothing,” Cloud muttered to himself, as he climbed the stairs. He swept the flashlight at his feet, making sure that nothing laid in his way to trip him up. Just as he reached the door, he heard something collapse behind him and spun around, hand on the hilt of First Tsurugi.

Genesis looked sheepishly up from the floor at the base of the steps. “It’s got me,” he grumbled as he turned and swiped his sword at some sort of vine that had taken hold of his ankle. “Back to the shadows, damned wretch.” The vine’s stump retracted when it was severed, disappearing under a dead computer console.

Cloud rolled his eyes and sighed heavily. “Be careful. Whatever’s in here could still kill you. Or poison you. I don’t need to deal with you hallucinating from toxic mushroom poisoning. Now, wait there.”

 

In the reactor core, Cloud switched off his light and stowed it. Inside, the burning Mako below the platform made his eyes water and his skin itch. Sickly green light shifted from below, highlighting the broken tube where the JENOVA project had been stored. Once upon a time, Cloud had wondered who JENOVA’s host had been, how old it really was. But that pondering flitted away as he approached the end.

Just where he thought he would find him, Cloud approached Sephiroth, his back to Cloud at the steps of the project’s broken glass tube. Despite the rust creeping in from the outside, the interior of the reactor was still too volatile for the mutated mosses and molds, leaving the broken technology to peacefully rot away on its own time.

“You took longer than I expected,” Sephiroth said. He inclined his head toward Cloud, but did not turn.

“Well, you know. It’s a bit windy out. Short guy problems,” Cloud replied.

Sephiroth’s shoulders shook for a moment. “You never fail to make me laugh.”

“It’s what I do. The first time we were here, you laughed. Zack asked about your dad… and you just…”

“You probably thought I was choking.”

“It did sound kind of awkward.”

Sephiroth turned around, slowly. The light from below made his pale skin seem more alien than usual, tinting him green all over. As he turned, a bright glint caught Cloud’s attention – in Sephiroth’s left hand, he carried Masamune, the blade whole as the first time it ran through Cloud. Backlit by the glow of Mako, the smell of the stuff burning his sinuses, Cloud shut his eyes tight. For a moment, it had felt like he was sixteen again, his hero declaring war on the Planet that had somehow betrayed him.

When he opened his eyes, Sephiroth still stood at the far end of the damaged platform, watching him with dark-circled eyes, his lids drooping from lack of sleep.

“You should never close your eyes on an enemy,” Sephiroth scolded. He took a step back and pulled Masamune up close to his head.

Cloud shook his head. “We’re not enemies anymore.” He held his hands out in front, not reaching for his sword just yet. “How’d you do it?”

“Do what?”

“Put Masamune back together. It looks almost new.”

Sephiroth turned and ran his right hand over the flat side of the blade. “It’s still scarred from the break, but, when the Nibel dragon attacked me, I took advantage of the heat. I lost Murasame in the fight.”

Cloud put his hands on his hips and gave an impressed whistle. “Forged it back together with the other one? Did you beat it with your bare hands, too?” He rocked on the balls of his feet. It took will power to not fully imitate Zack Fair and do a squat, as well.

“Cloud, quit stalling. Masamune has always been a part of me, even in death. You know that.” Sephiroth tightened his posture, both hands on Masamune’s grip. “And you know there’s only one way this ends.” Sephiroth charged forward in a blink.

As he watched Sephiroth surge forward, Cloud made a decision. He let the sword hit its mark, right through the same spot Sephiroth had stabbed him twice before. Scar tissue tore, and in the back of his mind, Cloud thought that it was not as bad as the first couple of times were.

“Fuck, that still hurts,” Cloud said. He flinched and grabbed his shoulder, near where Masamune had pierced. He tried to pull back, discovering that Sephiroth had hit him so hard that he was pinned to the wall like an insect. He turned his head enough to see a fissure the length of his arm appear in the wall where the rusting metal walls had corroded.

Sephiroth stood at the end of his blade, staring at Cloud in disbelief. The look on his face was not the same kind of shock as when Cloud had managed to counterbalance Sephiroth and wrest his sword away from him… but in the realization of his mistake.

“Why? Why didn’t you dodge?” Sephiroth whispered.

“Because then we’d be fighting,” Cloud replied. Gritting his teeth, he took a half step forward, Masamune digging deeper through his flesh. He reached out with his good arm. “I’m tired of fighting.”

“No!” Sephiroth pulled Masamune out of the wall and out of Cloud, curving upwards to avoid making his wounds worse. “This is how it is supposed to be, isn’t it?” He flicked Masamune to the side, watching Cloud’s blood splatter at his feet. “I’m tired, too… but…”

Cloud staggered forward, now unimpeded by Masamune, but he could feel the fingers in his left hand going numb. “I think you really did some nerve damage this time,” he said, lifting his left hand with his right. “I might need therapy.”

“Stop that!” Sephiroth stomped on the platform, causing the structure to rattle ominously. “Cloud, I-“

“You don’t want to fight.”

Sephiroth lifted Masamune to its place again. “You don’t know what I want.” He bolted forward again, this time met with First Tsurugi, deflected up so that Cloud could duck between Sephiroth’s arms.

“You told me you want to be loved. You _are._ ”

“She didn’t love me.”

“Who?”

Sephiroth lifted his arms and kicked out Cloud’s knee, forcing him back. “My mother.” Sephiroth turned and leaped, perching on top of the crumbling structure that had been JENOVA’s containment chamber. “She let me become an experiment.”

Cloud used First Tsurugi to get to his feet, stabbing it into the walkway for leverage. “She regrets it.” As soon as he was vertical again, the sword was back on its holster. In his current state, provoking Sephiroth was a very bad idea, at least until Cloud could get through to him. Having his weapon out was just asking for a fight, and Cloud refused to give him one.

“Too late,” Sephiroth scoffed. His wing flared out behind him, making a dramatic shadow behind Sephiroth and across the back of the chamber. Above them, something creaked and snapped. A piece of metal spiraled down into the hot Mako below them.

Cloud took a steadying breath and held his hands up. “No one said you had to like her, Sephiroth. At least you still have a mom to hate.”

Sephiroth turned his head and crouched down behind one of the broken generators atop the chamber. “That was low…” He pulled himself further into shadow. “I’m sorry.” The structure groaned with his movement, shifting with his weight.

Cloud made his way to the front of the shattered containment tube, looking up to Sephiroth. “I know you are. So am I. But… I forgive you. We really have to work on your coping skills, but… it’s something we can work on together.”

From behind the generator, Sephiroth peeked out. “We? You really want me to come home?”

Cloud had never heard his voice get so small, yet a note of hope was in his cracked words, so Cloud took the small lead and pulled on it. He held his right hand up, reaching out as if to bring Sephiroth to him.

“Of course I do. And so does Zack. So, I really can’t leave here without you. He’ll be really angry with me.” Chuckling, Cloud grinned up at him. “Besides, you look like a gargoyle up there.”

Sephiroth jumped down and landed right in front of Cloud. Not slowing his descent, Sephiroth landed with a ‘bang’ that echoed in the whole chamber. Cloud grabbed a railing from the disorienting noise until the moment passed. Sephiroth appeared unfazed by the sound.

“You should have dodged. You could have lost an arm just to make your point,” Sephiroth said, touching Cloud’s shoulder gingerly. “This needs cleaning…”

“If I lost my arm, it would have been an _exclamation_ point,” Cloud chuckled. Immediately after that, he hissed and held up his left arm with his right. “An al- _arm-_ ing point…”

Sephiroth closed his eyes and groaned. “That was horrible.” A smile ghosted on his lips, with tears forming at the corners of his eyes.

“You deserved it.” Cloud grinned crookedly, trying to smile over the terrible pain and the worrying cold he felt at his left hand’s fingertips.

Reaching into his coat, Sephiroth pulled out a Potion and popped the cork out with his thumb. “Drink this, anyway, before it falls off. It’s not much, but you’ll make it out until we can get you some real care.”

“You’re the one who tried to dis _arm_ me!” Cloud took the potion and threw it back grimacing at the taste. Feeling began to return to his left hand, but he would need the wound properly bandaged once they left. It would keep him from bleeding to death, at least.

“Cloud!”

A banging on the wall near the exit caught their attention. Genesis watched the pair of them, hesitant to approach on the rickety looking catwalk.

“I’m glad you two are resolving your little emotional problems, but I would appreciate it if you’d hurry up. I’m certain that… thing that grabbed my leg is creeping around out here!” Genesis leaned into the doorway just enough to be seen.

Sephiroth glanced down at Cloud. “Something grabbed him?”

“I think he tripped on an old cable,” Cloud murmured. “Still, I wanna get out of here. This place is creepy enough as it is. I don’t wanna think abou-“

As he was turning to make his way up the catwalk and back to the exit, the structure under their feet lurched heavily to one side. Sephiroth grabbed Cloud with his free hand to steady him. More pieces of metal began to rain down from the ceiling with the hard pull from the platform’s weight.

Sephiroth shoved Cloud ahead of him. “GO!” he shouted, as the whole platform began to lurch and shudder. Cloud headed for the exit. Genesis now leaned into the room, arm outstretched to pull him to safety. Pieces of old piping dropped into the Mako below, causing it to fountain upwards, splashing them with hot, green liquid. A large section of the roof tumbled downwards and struck the catwalk, Sephiroth with it. Both of his legs were pinned by the section of roof, holding him back.

Cloud turned around to go back, to help Sephiroth get the metal panel off his legs when the catwalk gave another lurch. The girders underneath snapped; a glint of metal whizzed past Cloud and stuck to the wall. Cloud grabbed onto Masamune as the rest of the catwalk gave way under him. He caught a glimpse of relief in Sephiroth’s expression just as the whole thing took him down.

“Cloud!” Genesis reached out and pulled Cloud up through the doorway, to safety. “He-“ Cloud shoved Masamune and First Tsurugi, harness and all, into Genesis’ arms.

“He’s still in there!” Cloud shouted. “Get out, get away from the reactor!”

“But you-“

“If we don’t make it out, go to Rocket Town. Take care of Zack. Tell him we love him.”

“I can fly-”

“Genesis, if this whole thing comes down, I don’t want you in here when it does. Go.”

Genesis swallowed and pressed a kiss to Cloud’s mouth. “Good luck.” Genesis turned and fled as instructed. As he ran, he murmured a prayer to Minerva for their safety.

Cloud nodded, and turned to the door. Taking a deep breath, he pushed himself back through the reactor door and jumped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully, now that the holidays are over, I'll be able to get back to writing on the regular. 
> 
> And Cloud's jokes are awful, but they don't fail to make Sephiroth laugh. So....win? :D
> 
> Thank you for reading and sticking with it so far! <3


	6. One Winged Angel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zack spends time worrying about his dads at Cid's place. Cid and Vincent talk. Sephiroth and Cloud are stuck in the muck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to make this a double-update, but it's been over a month since my last, so I'd rather not make you all wait too long. :>
> 
> Thank you all for your comments and Kudos! I love you all!

Zack sat on a window seat in Cid’s Rocket Town home. The window in particular faced Nibelheim, specifically the mountains. When his “uncle” had pointed out to him that the mountains were the location of his Daddy and Papa, Zack took to sitting on a large pillow at the window, watching.

He had taken to this habit for two days, since arriving in Rocket Town. Denzel had managed to coax him away from the window to play, Shera got him away to read once, and Cid picked him up and carried him to the table for dinner, but when the boy was not preoccupied, that was where he sat.

Cid watched Zack stare longingly out the window the third day, hugging his plush Chocobo companion and waiting. Denzel appeared at his side again, trying to ease him away, but Zack just shook his head and spelled something out with his fingers. The return to sign language did not sit well with Cid.

“Think he knows somethin’?” Cid murmured. Vincent loomed nearby, observing the boys as Zack curled himself up into a tight ball, refusing to acknowledge Denzel.

“Children are perceptive. They feel when a mood shifts, when there is something amiss,” Vincent replied. “Being a reborn soul, Zack may even have awareness beyond what he can understand.”

Cid scoffed, but rubbed at his unshaven face in worry. “Ain’t we all reborn souls?”

“Technically, yes. But Zack Fair was not part of the Lifestream for very long. Some part of him may still recall the feelings from the Nibelheim incident, even if our little Zack of the present does not know what it means.” Vincent drew away from Cid and knelt beside Zack at the window. Without his cloak and all those impressive trappings, Vincent sat silently, not drawing attention to himself.

Denzel looked up at Vincent, pink in the cheeks. He was frustrated, having lost the argument to get Zack out of the window. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Who really does?” Vincent asked. He shuffled forward and folded his arms beside Zack’ perch. He tapped the boy’s foot, getting Zack to peek out from the fuzzy crest of the stuffed Chocobo’s head. “You’re worried about your fathers, yes?”

Zack nodded. His face was all pink and he began to cry. “Wanna see Daddy… Papa…” he whimpered.

“I know you do,” Vincent replied. “But you can’t sit here and watch for them.” Zack put his head down again and started shaking. “You can’t see the main road from there… come sit with me. You don’t have to do anything else.”

Zack looked up again and nearly flung himself off the window seat and into Vincent’s lap. Vincent sat back quickly enough to catch him, folding long arms around Zack and cradling him close as he got up from the floor.

Denzel sighed in relief. “Finally. That window’s gotta be freezing.” Denzel got to his feet just to flop into Cid’s armchair, slouched across the armrests.

“He is quite cold,” Vincent agreed. “Let’s go to the couch.”

Zack nodded and Vincent carried him over, sitting with his back to one of the arm rests. Zack leaned against Vincent’s chest and sniffled, curling himself into a little ball.

“You can cry, if you want to, Zack.” Vincent gently rubbed Zack’s back. Zack reached out and touched Vincent’s “demon” hand, the one black with mutation and sharply clawed, and pulled it closer. Zack whimpered a little and placed Vincent’s dark hand on his face.

“I’ll be damned.” Cid sat at the other end of the couch, watching Vincent comfort Zack. “An’ you thought that it would freak him out.”

“I’m sure he just sees me as a substitute for Sephiroth…” Vincent murmured. He pulled his legs up to give Cid more space, forming a nest of himself around Zack.

Cid chuckled. “Well, you _are_ his daddy.”

Zack picked his head up from Vincent’s chest and looked at Cid. Then to Vincent. Then Cid again, and back to Vincent once more. He reached up and pushed at Vincent’s headband until it was out of his eyes. So misplaced, Vincent pulled the band off entirely, letting Zack see everything at once. Zack pushed at Vincent’s bangs and touched his cheeks; Vincent’s pale skin looked even lighter with Zack still sporting a little bit of tan from Costa del Sol.

“You’re Daddy’s daddy?” Zack asked.

Cid snorted from his end of the couch. “That makes him yer grandpa.”

“Granpa?” Zack looked at Vincent with wide eyes and admiration for the new word. “Granpa Vincen?”

Denzel stifled a laugh and got up from his seat. “I’m… I’m gonna see if Miss Shera needs any help…” he said, retreating to the kitchen area. They all heard Denzel laughing away.

Vincent glared over the top of Zack’s head at Cid. “Thank you.”

Cid grinned back. “You’re welcome… Grandpa.”

Zack looked puzzled at the two adults but curled up against Vincent’s chest again, pleased with the new word. “Granpa Vincen. Love you.” He pulled Vincent’s gray-black hand over his face again, shading his eyes. He whimpered once more; Vincent could feel a few heated tears threatening to break free, but at least he was not in hysterics. His annoyance at being declared a grandfather dissipated with Zack clinging to his shirt.

 

Morning drifted into afternoon, with Zack keeping close to Vincent while he remained away from the window. Lucrecia joined them for lunch, having come over from her room at the Rocket Town Inn; Vincent and she had danced around one another on the airship, the awkwardness of seeing one another again, in person, being vastly different from all the times he frequented her cave.

Watching Vincent tend to a very clingy Zack, Lucrecia sat on Cid’s couch, her arms folded across her knees. “You would have made an excellent father, you know.” She watched his hand still on Zack’s back, as Vincent had taken to offering any contact to keep the child calm.

Vincent spared a glance from the board game he, Zack, Zack’s Chocobo, and Denzel were playing. He sighed and flicked a strand of Zack’s hair that seemed determined to stay in his eyes.

“Perhaps, in another life. With this, I am content,” Vincent said. “Thank you,” he murmured, when Zack handed him the dice for his turn. “I imagine you would have been-“

Lucrecia cut him off. “No, don’t say it. I’d be a terrible mother. Even if I had the chance, I think… I think that I might have put work before Se—before my child.”

Vincent fell quiet, his hair down and blocking his face from her view. “You still think horribly of yourself. I don’t know what transpired between yourself and Sephiroth – if you wish to tell me, that’s your business, but… I forgave you long ago. You saved my life, and I would not be here today without that.”

Lucrecia cringed and looked away.

Settled in the doorway to the living room, Cid watched the scene with a cup of tea growing cold in his hands. He nearly dropped his cup when Shera touched his back from behind.

“Shit, Sher, you nearly gave me a heart attack.”

Shera pressed a thin smile on her face and leaned into Cid’s side. “Better than your heartache. I can see it on your face, Cid.”

“Shera…” Cid’s tone carried a warning, but his face spoke of his weariness to do anything.

“I read you like a book, Cap. How long are you going to _not_ tell him how you feel? Even after what happened on the ship from Costa?”

Cid flushed scarlet and turned away from the living room, storming back into the kitchen. He sat his untouched tea on the table and gripped the back of a chair, arms and shoulders tight. “We ain’t even talked about that. I only told _you_ ‘coz I thought it was the best goddamned dream I ever had.”

Shera approached slowly and settled a hand on the small of Cid’s back. “He obviously feels _something_. And I’ve never taken you for a coward.”

Sighing, Cid pulled the chair out from under the table and sat in it, the wood groaning with the sudden drop of weight. “He knows what he needs to know. That I find him hot as fuck and his voice does things to me I can’t control.” Cid smirked, but it melted right into a frown. “Wish he knew more than that.”

Vincent’s voice floated through the kitchen. “More than what?” he asked. Zack was hanging off his side as Vincent retrieved a box of juice from the fridge for him. “Am I missing something?”

Shera turned around, folding her arms across her chest. Small as she was, she could still look intimidating when she needed to. “You’re missing a lot.”

“Shera, please,” Cid begged. He grabbed a fistful of her skirt and tugged. “Don’t get involved.”

“No, I’m **getting** involved, Cid. I’m sick of watching you tear yourself up.” Shera pried his fingers off her dress and approached Vincent. She held her arms out to Zack. “Would you like a story? We can sit in the window if you like.”

Zack nodded and allowed himself to slip into Shera’s arms; Shera took the juice from Vincent and marched into the living room, her head held high. Vincent watched her go, Zack picking out a book for them to read by his window. When he looked back, Cid had his head down, in his hands.

“Cid?”

“Mmph.”

Vincent sat beside him at the table, waiting out whatever Cid was going through. He lightly drummed his fingers on the table until Cid reached over with both hands to stop him. Looking up, Vincent found Cid’s eyes were glassy and wide, looking into Vincent’s, nervously flitting from left to right. His mouth opened, hung there a moment, then shut hard enough that Vincent heard his teeth click.

As Vincent felt Cid start to pull his hands away, he placed his black hand over Cid’s and squeezed, anchoring him there. “Something’s bothering you.”

His Adam’s apple bobbed as Cid struggled to find the words, licking his lips instead. “I… it’s…”

“Don’t you dare tell me it’s nothing,” Vincent snapped, perhaps too harshly, as Cid blinked away the glassy look in surprise. Vincent loosened his grip and looked down at the table with a sigh. “I know what running away looks like, Cid. Reticence is a specialty of mine.”

Running a hand through cropped blond hair, Cid yanked off his goggles and dropped them on the table. “I’m a fuckin’ coward,” Cid muttered. “When we… when you found me in my quarters…” He gulped again and rubbed his face. “We ain’t talked about that.”

Vincent shifted in his seat and looked away, toward the kitchen’s stone floor. “I didn’t think you wished to talk about it. I chose to remain silent, for your sake.”

Leaning his elbows on the table, Cid sat forward. “D’you think I’m ashamed of what happened? I mean, gettin’ caught buckass naked, masturb-“

“I know.” Vincent’s face warmed to a pale pink, recalling how he’d found Cid with a sex toy in his ass, and instead of just walking away, leaving Cid to his fantasies, he – he _walked right on in_ , and brought Cid to climax with just words and a little bit of control.

Since then, they had carefully avoided conversation by acting as if nothing happened. It only had made things worse when Lucrecia joined them on the ship. Cid kept staring at Lucrecia while she was unaware; Vincent watched Cid staring, tried to gesture for him to cut it out, only to have Lucrecia look at him as if he had developed a nervous tick.

“I’m sorry,” Vincent said, keeping his face turned away from Cid.

Cid huffed and slapped a hand on the table. “The fuck are you apologizin’ for?”

Vincent fell silent. He had no idea, in truth, why he kept silent, but Cid had not brought the subject up. Instead, he opted for a more practical reasoning.

“For leading you on, perhaps? You’ve made your desires for me clear, and I’m-“

“Confused as fuck?” His chair scraped loudly as he slid closer to Vincent, sitting until they were side by side. “Real hesitant about trying again fer a relationship? Thinkin’ I think less of ya because you can get me off with some dirty talk? I mean, I’m the horndog here, sweetheart. And you’ve got a sexy-as-hell voice.”

Vincent rubbed at his cheek and curled away as much as possible. “Do you think me a tease?”

“Nah.” Cid put an arm around Vincent’s shoulders and pulled. Vincent let himself slide over to Cid’s space and let his weight sink against him. “I think you liked what you saw, least from me. Am I wrong?”

“No.”

Cid smiled and rubbed his shoulder. “You know, it ain’t just sex I want from ya. That’s a perk and a privilege, but it ain’t like, a _need_.”

Vincent looked up; without his bandana to obscure his face and the way he looked through his messy bangs… it reminded Cid of how terribly _young_ Vincent had been when his life just stopped – no death, but no development. No wisdom of experience. He was a crack shot, for certain, but there was so much that Vincent had completely missed in his self-imposed isolation.

Cid avoided thinking about how that should bring Vincent and Lucrecia closer together.

Instead, he lifted his free hand and tilted Vincent’s chin up a little more, to look him better in the eyes. Vincent shifted and braced his arms on Cid’s thigh, not sitting up to his full height.

“What **do** you need, Cid?” Vincent whispered.

Cid took a deep breath and thumbed at Vincent’s bottom lip. “Just you, darlin’. Just as you are, as long as you wanna stick around.”

Vincent swallowed hard and tried to withdraw, but Cid’s arm felt heavy over his shoulders. Vincent could easily break free, but the weight of Cid holding him in place, just solid, sure, and there… dependable.

“Are you certain?”

“Certain as you are pretty.”

A small smile split Vincent’s face, and he attempted to duck his head. Cid tilted him back up with a gentle touch under his jaw again; Vincent put up no resistance. Instead, he lunged forward, connecting his mouth to Cid’s in a sharp, precise hit before he started to pull away again.

“Like hell,” Cid murmured, drawing him in again.

Vincent groaned into Cid’s mouth and looped his arms around the small of Cid’s back, trying to pull him closer than physics would allow. He nipped at Cid’s bottom lip, breathing the pilot’s nickname against Cid’s mouth when Zack cried out from the living room.

Pulling apart as if being caught in the act, Vincent got to his feet and led the way to the other room; Zack sat on his knees, hands on the glass, staring at the mountain range he had been watching for days. A black plume of smoke billowed up from the peaks.

Shera and Lucrecia stood beside one another. Shera looped an arm across Lucrecia’s back and stood close. Lucrecia covered her mouth with both hands.

“Sephiroth… Cloud…” Denzel murmured, dropping into the window seat with Zack.

Cid looked up to Vincent and nodded. “Time to go, sweetheart. Ladies, watch the kids. We’ve gotta get over the mountain.” Vincent followed Cid’s lead, both picking up their gear and suiting up.

“Are you taking the airship? Will it even get you close enough?” Shera asked, still holding onto Lucrecia to keep her calm. Zack curled up in Denzel’s back and hugged him tight.

Cid shook his head. “We’re gonna need speed. Dunno if it’s gonna be a rescue, but there’s room on the _Valentine_ to scoop up those morons if they’re in trouble. Let’s just hope… hope they’re not.” Marching out the back door, Vincent was hot on Cid’s heels as he headed toward the hangar in his yard.

“Wait, you said the _Valentine?_ As in-“ Vincent trailed, stepping into place beside Cid. Inside the hangar, a private plane, smaller than the _Shera_ , but outpacing the _Tiny Bronco_ in passenger capacity, sat, gleaming in silver, with decals in red and black over her wings and hull.

“Don’t play dumb, sweetheart. Like I wouldn’t name one’a my babies after _you_. Woulda been another Airship class, but I thought somethin’ personal and cozy was more _Vincent_.” Cid pulled out the stops around the wheels, freeing the plane for takeoff. “Wanted to surprise ya with a private trip, but this is an emergency, and she’ll clear the mountains and land us outside the village, instead of us havin’ ta use a drop to get out. I hate parkin’ the _Shera_ in hover.”

Cid finished the pre-flight assessment and invited Vincent into the cockpit. He strapped on a headset and microphone, calling into the house to announce his takeoff. “Strap in, darlin’. And…” Cid reached over before Vincent could buckle his seatbelt and gave him a quick peck. “We ain’t done _talking_. You’re not allowed to avoid it this time.”

Vincent blushed and nodded, returning the chaste kiss. “I promise, I won’t.”

 

_Meanwhile…_

In his head, Sephiroth could hear the voices of the Lifestream. It screamed at him, cried, begged, whispered, and told him to give up. Die. Dissolve. Start again, a new beginning. The weight of the thick, overheated Mako was doing its best to make his choice for him; Sephiroth strained in the glowing fluid, his leg tangled in the debris that had struck him. In the omnipresent light, Sephiroth could see dark shapes, piercing the Mako as the reactor crumbled from within.

Sephiroth’s body pleaded for oxygen; there were only so many things a SOLDIER could go without. Air was not one of them. Even with training to hold his breath, the shock of the drop gave him no time to prepare, and now his body was losing strength as he strained, kicking at the broken catwalk until it released his foot. Even freed, Sephiroth felt the struggle take its toll on his muscles. His eyelids began to droop, and the voices calling to him, hissing to give in began to take on the warm hiss of a radio stuck between stations. A soft murmur, shutting down his resistances…

CRACK!

Jolting awake, Sephiroth felt a snap, a ripple, as something – no, some _one –_ entered the Mako with him. The liquid sent out a shock as soon as Cloud struck the surface, like a live wire in water. Sephiroth curled over in the Mako and pushed through with all his might, energy renewed at just feeling Cloud so close.

Of all the dark shapes in the perpetual glow of Mako, only one moved toward Sephiroth just as quickly as Sephiroth swam toward it. Colliding with Cloud, Sephiroth could have hugged him, were his body not weakening with the lack of oxygen. Cloud gestured toward the surface and grabbed Sephiroth by the cross-belts over his chest.

Pushing with the energy he had left, Sephiroth felt Cloud pull and tug at him until they surfaced. Both coughed and gagged, hair plastered to their skin from the thick Mako soaked through it. Once his lungs stopped burning, Sephiroth pulled Cloud close and held onto him.

“You came back,” he murmured, breathless. “I didn’t think…”

Cloud hugged Sephiroth back and nodded against his shoulder. “I had to.”

“I’d kiss you if we weren’t covered in Mako.”

“I admire your restraint,” Cloud chuckled. He pushed away from Sephiroth enough to look up, treading Mako to keep his head above the surface. “I hope you know of, like, a secret way out of here.”

Sephiroth looked up with Cloud; most of the catwalk had already broken free. Nothing but thick cables and rusted pipes dangled far above their reach. “Crystalize the Mako around us and have our mutant cells transport our corpses to the Northern Crater, to be reborn at a later date by someone infused with our corrupted DNA and an unholy materia,” he said, quickly and completely serious.

Cloud stared at him. “If I didn’t know that was exactly how it happened, I’d think you’d lost your marbles.”

Sparing Cloud a brief smirk, Sephiroth waded closer, not merely for the comfort of proximity, but for the sake of changing his view of the reactor core. “Even saying it out loud sounds ridiculous, and I’m the one it happened to.” He took a deep breath and shook his head. “I don’t know if I can open my wing in this slop. It’ll coat the feathers.”

Cloud raised his left arm to point, hissing and pulling it back with the ache of where Sephiroth had stabbed him earlier. Covering the shoulder with his right hand, he gestured with a flick of his chin toward a ventilation port closest to them. “Damn… do you think you could jump to that?” It was small, maybe less than three feet across, but above it dangled cables from the JENOVA chamber.

“There’s nothing for me to push off from.” Sephiroth shook his head. “The Mako is too thick for me to make a burst from below.”

Flinching, Cloud sank in the Mako as his wound burned. “Yeah, o-okay… um…”

“Cloud?”

“Just… the potion didn’t…”

Sephiroth pulled Cloud close again and pushed aside his shirt to examine his arm. Where the wound had mostly closed, enough of Cloud’s skin had been raw enough for Mako to seep in around the edges. Bright green lines spidered around the cut, mingling with thin wisps of red where the injury had torn open.

“We need to get you out of here _now_ ,” Sephiroth growled. “Climb on my back.”

“Huh?” Cloud blinked up at Sephiroth; his pupils twitched and green crawled around the edges of his irises. “Oh, um… yeah…” Cloud waited until Sephiroth had turned around, sluggishly hoisting himself up and draping his arms over Sephiroth’s shoulders.

“Hold on. I don’t know if this will work.” Sephiroth held onto Cloud’s crossed wrists with one hand and swam to the very edge of the reactor pool. With his free hand, Sephiroth smashed enough of the metal inward to give himself a handle-like grip. “Stay with me, Cloud.”

Bracing his feet on the wall, with his hand in to pocket he made, Sephiroth pushed off with both legs, darting across the surface. He felt his speed drop rapidly as he skimmed the Mako; holding onto Cloud, Sephiroth turned sharply and stopped himself from crashing with his feet hitting the opposite side. He felt Cloud slip, and reached behind his back to hang on while he shoved off again. He repeated the process twice more, gaining speed until they were at least out of the Mako pool.

Cloud groaned, and his body felt limp against Sephiroth’s spine. The muscles in Sephiroth’s legs ached already; on the third pass, Sephiroth pushed up higher, changing the angle to gain more height. Once the Mako pool got further away from them, Sephiroth spared one hand to brace himself on the wall as he moved upwards.

“Stay… with… me…” he repeated. Cloud’s arms slipped momentarily, and then tightened around his shoulders. Sephiroth took it as a good sign. “Yes, Cloud… hang on…”

The door was just one more leap away. Now Sephiroth had cables and pipes to hold onto, but also to dodge. The last thing he needed was to knock Cloud off his back. Bracing himself for a final push, Sephiroth ignored the fire in his legs and shoved off.

They tumbled through the reactor door and landed in a sopping, sticky pile under the JENOVA sign. Sephiroth dropped Cloud from his back and both of them laid on the floor. Gasping for breath, Sephiroth clamored over Cloud and shook him.

“Cloud?”

A weak groan.

“Good enough,” Sephiroth muttered. Slowly, he got up to his knees and pulled Cloud up in his arms. Cloud hissed in pain at the movement. As if in response, the reactor made its own metallic shriek. Sephiroth’s impacts across the core chamber caused cracks and splintered metal. Somewhere, an old emergency system flared to life, bathing them in orange warning lights for thirty seconds before the backup batteries finally died and the whole reactor went dark.

Sephiroth rolled his head back and sighed. “A meltdown…” Hoisting Cloud onto his back again, he took off running. Armed only with his enhanced senses, Sephiroth could hear Mako boiling over behind him. Metal and concrete screamed and shattered, adding dust and mold to the slimy coating they were already covered by.

Rounding a corner, Sephiroth skidded to a halt as a plume of Mako shot out of the ground and the colder mountain air filtering inside crystallized the surface before his eyes, walling off the corridor in deadly spikes. Turning back, Sephiroth took another passage, trying to recall the reactor’s floor plan in hopes of remembering an emergency exit.

Ducking another onslaught of Mako, Sephiroth slipped on a pool of water. Just. Water.

_Snow from the mountain,_ he thought to himself. “The reactor must be melting the snow from the outside and it’s seeping in,” he said aloud, hoping Cloud would respond. When Cloud just sagged on his back like a knapsack, Sephiroth hiked him up near his shoulders again and continued moving.

_Has to be an exit,_ Sephiroth thought, feeling as though it were a wish instead of sound logic. The dark made it harder for him to read fine details at speeds, and combined with the utter exhaustion sapping him of his strength, Sephiroth moved slower, groping along the wall as he moved.

If memory served, they should be in an upper level, where the reactor observation room was. At least up there, Sephiroth no longer heard the sounds of bubbling Mako as distinctly as when he had been on the lower floor. Locating the observation room, Sephiroth pushed the door open, pulled Cloud inside with him, and propped him in a seat at a long-dead computer console.

Cloud nearly slumped over when Sephiroth let him go. Steadying him with one hand, Sephiroth lifted Cloud’s head with the other. Cloud tugged his face from Sephiroth’s hand and tried to stand on his own, nearly flopping on the floor like a landed fish before Sephiroth caught him once again.

Sitting on the floor himself, Sephiroth drew Cloud onto his lap. The contact and warmth appeared to mollify Cloud and instead of trying to escape again, he curled up in his lap like an exhausted, slime-covered cat. He murmured something incoherent into Sephiroth’s collarbone; Sephiroth could feel Cloud’s lips trying to form words, but there was nothing to understand.

Sephiroth moved them until he leaned against the bolted-down console seat. He felt the rush of energy waning, and were it not for the threat of the Mako seeping through cracks and crevices below them, he might have allowed himself to pass out... had he the willpower left to force himself to stay awake. He pushed his legs up, tucking Cloud closer to his chest. Cloud moved without a fight, though one hand tucked into Sephiroth’s coat and rested against his side.

“I’m not going to let us die here,” Sephiroth murmured. The dark room, even with his ability to see in the dark, felt smaller and more confining. Their situation was bleak; Cloud was likely poisoned, and Sephiroth had spent most of his energy getting them out of the reactor core. His arms drooped around Cloud’s body and his head fell forward, lips pressed firmly against Cloud’s grimy scalp.

_I’m sorry…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What are Cid and Vincent talking about? Vincent catching Cid being a horndog and deciding to play with him instead of leaving him to his dirty business. Assistance Needed: http://archiveofourown.org/works/6819991 (It's locked to non-Archive members because it's explicit)


	7. Somebody Like You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sephiroth is visited in a dream by an old friend. He wakes to find Cloud missing.

Sephiroth opened his eyes slowly, feeling light shine on his face. It made his skin tingle and itch, almost like the sun over Costa Del Sol, but harsher. Flinching at the blinding white, Sephiroth rolled onto his side to block out the pervading light. His face struck…grass? He could not remember the last time he was in an open field. The light that had bothered him drifted away, like a slow moving flashlight.

Chancing another look, Sephiroth opened his eyes again and focused. Surely enough, grass stretched out for miles around him, dotted with bright, yellow flowers. Sitting up, Sephiroth tried to take stock of where he was when it hit him – where was _Cloud_?

Getting to his feet, Sephiroth cupped his hands around his mouth and shouted for Cloud. He turned in a circle, eyes sweeping the blurry horizon, where the sky came down and melted into the sprawling green. Panic began to well in his throat as he realized the only thing he could see, anywhere, was the field of flowers and the swaying grasses.

“CLOUD!” he shouted again, starting to feel hopeless. His knees buckled under him and he fell, just catching himself on his palms. “Where are you?” he muttered.

Something struck his shoulder, and Sephiroth rolled to grab the hand of whoever had managed to appear. Tumbling in the grass, Sephiroth pinned his assailant on his back. Gasping, Sephiroth recoiled in shock when an old, familiar face grinned up at him from the dirt.

“Nice to see you, too, Sephiroth.” Angeal smiled warmly for a man who had just been assaulted.

Sephiroth gaped and tried to work his mouth for several moments. “A-Angeal? How? Why? Where am I?”

“Yes. Lifestream. It’s complicated. And… call this a reunion?” Angeal replied as he sat up, Sephiroth crouched on his legs. “Have you lost weight?”

Shaking his head, Sephiroth tackled Angeal again, this time, in an embrace. “Always about my weight,” he chided, choking on his words as he reined in his emotions.

Angeal hummed low in his throat and curled his arms around Sephiroth. “We didn’t get a lot of these before,” he said, rubbing Sephiroth’s back.

“Wait.” Sephiroth pushed away, holding Angeal at an arm’s length. “Am I dead? Did the reactor meltdown kill us? Where’s Cloud?” he demanded, getting to his feet. “I have to find Cloud…”

Standing with him, Angeal gripped Sephiroth’s wrist lightly, pulling him back before he wandered off. “You’re not dead. But you _did_ pass out. You burnt up a lot of energy.” Holding onto his hand, Angeal pulled Sephiroth back and moved his arm around his shoulders. “And you’re not quite… _in_ the Lifestream.”

Guiding Sephiroth, they walked for what appeared to be miles, but felt like only moments to cross. Standing at the edge of where Sephiroth had landed, Angeal gestured for him to peer over the edge; Sephiroth gasped at the sight before him. Where he thought he had landed in a singular, endless field, dropped off into a cloudy, pastel-hued abyss. Waterfalls circled the island of flowers Sephiroth stood on, emerging from misty forests and dumping water into the pale green ocean of nothing below the island. The colors were beautiful, but the vastness of the space made Sephiroth feel infinitesimally small by comparison.

Sephiroth wobbled and fell to his knees. “Where am I?” he asked, breathless, gripping the edge of the island. A few rainbow lights drifted along his arms and past his face as Sephiroth turned to regard Angeal. “What… is this?”

“Consider it a waypoint. Not quite death, something the living can touch, but not without… help.”

Sitting on the ground, Sephiroth rubbed at his face and tried to corral his thoughts. “The mako?” he asked, so soft that he barely heard his own voice above the waterfalls beneath them. “We were both soaked in it…” He stood up again, pushing his way past Angeal. “If I am here, Cloud must be, as well.”

Angeal grabbed Sephiroth by the shoulder and turned him around. Sephiroth went with a hostile jolt, glaring back at his old friend. “Are you trying to stop me?” he accused, frowning at Angeal. “I won’t let-“

“No, of course not. I just don’t remember seeing this side of you before.” Angeal put his hand on both of Sephiroth’s shoulders and leaned in, pressing his forehead to Sephiroth’s. “If someone fell behind, it was their fault. But... well, I guess she was right?”

Frowning, Sephiroth looked away from Angeal for a moment before replying: “Aerith.”

Angeal nodded. “She told me she was going to show you a way to end the constant war between you… I hoped it was going to work.” He tilted Sephiroth’s face up and smiled down at him. “I’m glad you found someone to love, who loves you back.”

Sephiroth looked away, self-conscious around his honorable old comrade. “Why did you come back as a dog?”

Angeal threw his head back and laughed, holding his stomach. “I didn’t… it’s more of a proxy. I can see through it, and command it, but it’s not much more than your standard mutt. Well… maybe it’s a _little_ tougher than any other dog.”

“That still doesn’t-“

“I like dogs.” Angeal shrugged and put an arm around Sephiroth’s shoulders again. “Big, friendly, loyal… It’s really not that complicated. And it’s easier than trying to be a guardian housecat.”

Sephiroth pulled a face, earning another laugh from Angeal.

“Tell me I’m wrong.”

“You’re not, but I was trying to imagine you as a cat.”

Angeal’s smile was full across his face now. “Man, he really _is_ good for you. Definitely improved your sense of humor. Among other things.” He walked along beside Sephiroth, guiding him across the island. “But, he’s not really here.” Angeal gestured around them. “I’m probably going to get in trouble for contacting you this way, but I had to see for myself. You’re different… and it’s a good thing.”

Sephiroth pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes. “I have to get back. We’re trapped-“

“Then, wake _up_ , Sephiroth.”

 

Shaking from his place on the floor, Sephiroth opened his eyes. He blinked; the lids felt sticky and heavy with the Mako all over his skin. He stretched his legs, trying to acclimate where he was in the reactor when he realized – Cloud was gone.

“Not now…” Sephiroth got to his feet, wondering how much time had passed since his impromptu nap. Everything still ached and his body felt heavy – and _gross –_ so the Mako had not absorbed into his skin. “Not very long…” he muttered to himself.

Calling out to Cloud, Sephiroth blindly felt around the walls of the upper level. Night vision be damned – the place was completely pitch black now. “Cloud?” he called, hearing his own voice dying in the echo of the halls. The Mako stench wafted up from below and stung at his eyes, making them sore and hard to keep open.

Some meandering later, as he chanced to open his eyes, he could hear the rushing of wind and a voice, distant and familiar. Squinting against the burn, Sephiroth realized the dark halls opened up to a door – an emergency exit, left open to the cold mountain air. Beyond it, he could see the first stars of twilight against deepening blue and heard the same voice, louder as he approached.

Emerging onto an external catwalk, Sephiroth took a deep breath of fresher air. It was not as clean as he might have desired, but it was far better than inhaling stale Mako fumes. Below him, he heard Genesis shouting.

“For Gaia’s sake, _there you are_!” Genesis shouted. “I saw Cloud without you – and I feared the worst!”

Sephiroth leaned over the railing. “Where is Cloud?”

“I…” Genesis turned around and then looked back. “He was right here!”

Clapping a hand over his face, Sephiroth groaned. “Great.”

“No, really, he was here a moment ago. He leaped down from where you are. Is… what’s wrong?”

Sephiroth jumped from the platform and stumbled as his leg caught wrong, causing his ankle to turn. Rolling onto his backside, Sephiroth could see a part of the reactor had crumbled, sending a black plume of smoke into the early evening sky.

“He’s susceptible to Mako poisoning. We had passed out after…” Sephiroth rubbed at his leg. “We have to go back to the village,” Sephiroth said, staggering to his feet.

“You look like Hell. What happened?” Genesis put a hand on Sephiroth’s back to steady him. “I’ll tell you on the way. Where’s my sword?”

Genesis gestured to where Masamune leaned against a nearby boulder – First Tsurugi was gone. “I think he took his own…” Genesis trailed.

“Let’s get airborne. I’ll tell you what happened on the way back to Nibelheim.” Sephiroth picked up Masamune and paused, his back to Genesis. “Angeal… sends his regards.”

 

Flying felt less like the usual smooth glide Sephiroth was used to and more like falling, gracelessly, against a heavy wind. Genesis fought to keep him aloft while his sore body threatened to give out. The impromptu nap he had taken in the observation room was not nearly enough to recover his body’s lost energy, and he was hungry to the point of it actually becoming a concern.

As they made their way down to the mountain village, they were greeted by the sound of an incoming plane. Landing – Genesis landed, Sephiroth nearly dropped onto the water tower – near the village entrance, and it did not take long before they met up with Cid and Vincent.

“Awright, so what the hell did ya break this time?” Cid snapped, pulling his pilot jacket around himself and zipping up against the mountain air. “The hell’s the smoke comin’ from?”

Sephiroth raised a hand to stem the tide of Cid’s temper, but before he could muster the energy to speak, Vincent cut through the group and steadied Sephiroth with a hand on his shoulder.

“You’re soaked through with Mako,” he said, peering under the hood of Sephiroth’s bangs. Sephiroth merely nodded back.

“So is Cloud,” Sephiroth breathed out, curling in against another tirade from Cid. Vincent put both hands on his arms now, holding him upright and blocking Cid’s path to his son.

Instead, all Highwind replied with was a voiceless “Shit,” before he turned and cupped his hands around his mouth, hollering to the village. “CLOUD!”

Genesis winced at the echo and swatted Cid’s arm. “You think we haven’t searched already? We tried to spy him on the mountain trail, but our path was direct. If he’s still taking the circuitous route, it’ll be some time before we see him.”

Vincent frowned and helped Sephiroth to sit on the ground, leaned against a support post for the water tower. “If he heads this way. He may opt to stay in the mountains, provided nothing assaults him on the way.”

Cid shook his head. “Nah, he’ll come this way.” He flicked his lighter and puffed on the end of his cigarette until he had a good ember going. Puffing out a ring of smoke, Cid scanned the mountain range, blinking in considerable thought.

Three heads turned towards the pilot before Genesis grew impatient and gestured for Cid to make his grand point. “Well?”

Snapping ash to the ground, Cid maintained his gaze. “You’re right, hollerin’ won’t do no good,” he said, more solemn now. He glanced toward Vincent and took another drag from his cigarette. “But he’ll come.”

Genesis huffed, ready to shake a straight answer out of him, when Sephiroth sighed heavily and leaned back hard enough to strike wood with his head.

“Because of me. He’ll come back to me.”

“Always did,” Cid agreed, an unpleasant frown on his face. “I reckon if he’s taken to wandering off, it won’t be long before those JENOVA cells in his blood get a boost from the Mako and steer Cloud right back home. Right back to Sephiroth, anyway.”

Sephiroth hung his head far enough that grimy hair curtained around his head completely. “A living beacon.” He laughed bitterly and shook his head. “Like before.”

Genesis took a deep breath and rubbed at his jaw, attempting to keep calm. “Would any of you care to fill me in? There’s a lot to your checkered history that I don’t-“

Vincent took Genesis’ arm and yanked him toward the village inn, dragging him away from Sephiroth. From the slump of his shoulders to the shaking breath that had slipped out of him, Vincent no more wanted to put Sephiroth through another horrible memory than Sephiroth would want to relive it.

At the water tower, Sephiroth got his feet under himself and stood, one hand on the tower, the other on Masamune’s grip, the sword pierced into the soil. Cid swept up underneath, bracing both hands on Sephiroth’s chest.

“Thank you,” Sephiroth murmured.

“Shit, you look ready to keel over. The hell happened to y’all up there?” Cid wrinkled his nose at the stench of Mako that hung to Sephiroth’s body and clothes. “Did you fall in the reactor again?” he chuckled.

“Yes.”

Cid blinked, nearly dropping the cigarette from his mouth. “Damn. No wonder you reek. Let’s get ya into the Inn and get the pumps goin’. You need a bath, and we need to kill time before Cloud wanders this way.”

Sephiroth leaned more weight than he meant to on Cid, earning a grunt as Cid hoisted Sephiroth’s arm over his shoulder and started to escort him after Vincent and Genesis. He looked at the pilot through the strands of his sticky hair and sighed.

“I’m the worst for Cloud, really,” he muttered.

Cid huffed and pinched Sephiroth’s wrist, where he had him. “Maybe. Or maybe that’s bullshit. Fuck me sideways, you’re a helluva father, at least. And, well… he’s good for you.”

“I’ll concede to the latter,” Sephiroth murmured. “But…”

“No. Nope. Not gonna have it. If you think you’re no good for Zack, either, you’re just digging fer excuses to hate yourself now. I seen y’all at Costa del Sol. And I’ve been watching Zack while Cloud went lookin’ for yer sorry ass. Kid misses you somethin’ fierce. He damn near ripped Vincent’s headband off, starin’ at Vincent when I let it slip that Vince is yer old man. It’s the eyes. He could tell you’re related. Perked him right up, knowin’ he’s got a grandpa now.”

Sephiroth huffed, the best laugh he could muster at the moment, and spared Cid a glance. “How did Vincent take to being called that?”

“Bout as well as you’d expect,” Cid grinned at him. Once they were at the Inn door, Highwind readjusted his grip so they could fit through the door together. “Gave me a look hot enough to melt Mythril, but it don’t work on me.”

Leaning against the doorframe, Sephiroth could hear the tail end of Vincent’s rushed explanation of Cloud’s connection to him, how Cloud would follow Sephiroth without thinking. Sephiroth moved his arm from Cid’s shoulder to rest his hand there instead.

“And yet, you continue to pursue him,” Sephiroth said, pretending as though he could not hear the shock in Genesis’ gasp when it was explained how JENOVA cells had ended up in Cloud in the first place. Cid led him to a bench just inside the door, where Sephiroth flopped for a second time.

Cid folded his arms over his chest. “If you think I’m waiting fer your blessing to date yer pop, I’ve gotta tell you, I’m not a patient man.”

Sephiroth rolled his eyes hard enough that he felt them strain in their sockets. “As if I would prevent you from wooing my **father** ,” he said, sliding to lie on the narrow plank of wood, content to just rest there if he could not summon the energy to steal a room. “You’re good for him.” His eyes slipped closed, but as they did, he could hear Cid inhale quickly, breathing out a bashful “thanks” before retreating further inside.

 

Waking hours later, Sephiroth felt warm and itchy, turning over where he lay. Under him were stiff sheets, and he felt no restraint of clothing around him. His skin no longer felt taught with Mako gluing it all together, so he sat up, slowly, peering in the dark.

Genesis slumped in a chair beside his bed, his coat abandoned and a blanket over his legs. When Sephiroth moved, Genesis stirred, stretching his back with a series of pops.

“I’m getting too old to slouch,” he grumbled. “Welcome back,” he said in deference to Sephiroth.

“Has Cloud-“

“No, not yet. We got you cleaned up… you were unconscious the whole time.” Genesis stood and crossed to the bed, sitting on the edge and making the old springs groan. “How many men does it take to wash a SOLDIER 1st Class? More than three, it seems. You were _gone_. We acted slowly, waiting for you to wake and defend yourself.”

Sephiroth frowned and felt his face warm in the cool room air. “I didn’t think I was _that_ exhausted.”

“You’ve been going for days without food, water or adequate sleep.” Genesis laid on the bed beside Sephiroth, stretched out on top of the covers. “I’m surprised you’re up so soon. I expected another day of unconsciousness.”

Sephiroth rubbed at his eye with the heel of his palm. “I’m starving.”

“There’s stew downstairs. Your father can certainly cook.”

“Please, stop calling him that.”

Genesis propped his head up with one hand and raised a brow. “Vincent _is_ your father. And from the _talking to_ I got about you, I feel… well, he _Dad-ed_ me. Scolded. I’m too tired to be properly verbose.” Genesis rolled onto his stomach, stealing Sephiroth’s pillow and burying his face in it. “Vincent’s keeping watch, either way, in case you didn’t wake tonight.” He thumbed over his shoulder near the door. “And your bag’s over on the table. Unless you prefer to walk about in the nude.”

Slipping out of the bed, Sephiroth dressed himself in a pair of jeans and a long sleeved thermal, padding downstairs to the lower floor of the inn, trying to put the memories of his last time there from his mind. Still the images came back, clear as day, especially as he passed the picture window overlooking the mountain range, the dark silhouette of ShinRa manor an inky void compared to the rest of the village at night.

Vincent sat in the common room, reassembling his Cerberus, the metal gleaming red in the light of the nearby fireplace. Sephiroth lingered in the wide doorway, watching the older man in silence. Vincent worked quickly, efficiently, as he slid every bolt and piece back into place, clean and oiled.

“I haven’t seen Cloud yet,” Vincent said, breaking the quiet without looking up. “I expected you’d be out for another day.”

“That’s what Genesis said.”

Vincent smirked faintly and holstered his weapon, then hung the belts on the wingback chair he occupied. “Gaia help me if I’m starting to think like him.”

Sephiroth snorted and looked away. He shifted on his bare feet, lost between finding his dinner and talking to his father. “You both have a penchant for red,” was what he offered instead.

“I started it,” Vincent replied, folding his mismatched hands in his lap. “Cid’s asleep, if you wish to talk. I know your meeting with Lucrecia was… tense.”

“An understatement.” Sephiroth lingered a moment more before giving up and heading to the kitchen and preparing himself a meal of leftover stew. Upon his return, he found Vincent waiting for him, sitting, watching and unmoved since Sephiroth left.

Sephiroth sat on the common room’s couch, folding his legs up to support his lukewarm bowl of food. He stirred at the contents, trying to muster his appetite since Vincent brought up his mother. Instead of speaking, he spooned a large chunk of carrot into his mouth and chewed slowly, his eyes downcast.

“…Very well, I’ll start. I don’t understand why she chose to stay with Hojo. I thought… thought that she may have loved me, but it took me years to realize that she felt responsible for the death of my own father.” Vincent stretched his legs out and crossed them at the ankles. “She saved my life, but in doing so, I am…” Vincent lifted his gray-black hand and waved his clawed fingers idly. “This.”

Glancing up, Sephiroth swallowed the carrot, but it felt like a rock hitting his stomach. “She apologized to me. I’m not even sure what she apologized for.” He closed his eyes, feeling his meager appetite dissipate, but he forced a spoonful of stew into his mouth.

“Probably because she felt like she should.”

Sephiroth looked to Vincent again, but Vincent’s head was tipped back to the ceiling. His hands folded over his stomach, thumbs circling each other for a need of motion. “She said I would have made a better father than she a mother. When I was consoling Zack. He misses you both, terribly.”

Guilt swept through Sephiroth and he put his dinner aside completely. “I have missed him. My little… light in the darkness. Zack, in any form, was always a spot of hope for me.” Putting his feet on the floor, Sephiroth gripped the edge of the couch with both hands, staring at the worn down carpet under him.

“I thought I was getting closure, seeking her out, but…”

“Instead, she left you feeling bereft. She answered nothing, apologized, left you with more questions and heartache than you entered with?”

Sephiroth looked up; Vincent made eye contact now, a sad, understanding smile on his lips. He leaned forward in his chair, arms braced on his knees. His fingers laced together in a tight basket of themselves, straining until even the knuckles on his mutated hand paled.

“She’s made many selfish choices. I wanted to still love her, and a part of me… always will, in some way.” Vincent’s gaze drifted downward, toward his left. “But, that is the past.”

“She asked me about Cloud.” Sephiroth watched Vincent’s face, his gaze focusing, returned to the present. “Asked… what he _is_ to me.”

“What did you say?”

“I was angry, still. I told her how he beat me, defeated me, caught me off guard.” Sephiroth got to his feet and started to pace as he had in the cavern. “How he’s… just… so…” Sephiroth had raised his arms, only for them to drop at his sides again. One hand came up and rubbed at his eyes.

“What is Cloud, to you, Sephiroth? What is he now?”

Sephiroth took a deep, ragged breath. “Everything. A smile, warm as the sun, especially if I’ve said something awkward that makes him laugh. A companion, someone who… understands what it’s like to be different.” Both of Sephiroth’s hands went up and into his hair, causing silver strands to fall between his fingers in every direction. “He’s kind and compassionate – he should have never given me a second chance. I should have died, again, at his hand… but he stitched my arm together, smuggled me into Edge… I just…” Sephiroth looked to Vincent, who had chuckled in the midst of Sephiroth’s tirade.

“Love him.” Vincent stood up, slowly, and approached Sephiroth. He helped detach Sephiroth’s hands from his scalp and brought them down. Pushing back the curtain of silver, Vincent cupped Sephiroth’s face in both hands, taking a good look at his son.

“Do you recall when we first spoke to one another?”

Sephiroth started to pull away. Vincent put his hands on Sephiroth’s shoulders. “I recall you putting a gun to my head.”

Vincent’s lips drew into a frown, but he shrugged. “You would have done the same, were you in my place.”

“No, I agree.”

“I was referring to your budding affection for Cloud. When you were plagued by a vision of happiness, something Aerith had shown you. I warned you against mistaking infatuation with an idea over the reality of care.”

Sephiroth settled back onto the couch, his legs no longer able to support him with the weight bearing on his shoulders. He would never forget that dream, even if things had taken a detour to another path. He had found Zack. Cloud had been with Kunsel, for a time. Reconciling with… his paren—with Genesis.

“She showed me an outcome, but I never imagined that it would take me…” he gestured out through the window, toward Nibelheim. “Here. She set up a goalpost, but obscured the path.”

Vincent crouched in front of Sephiroth, resting his folded arms on Sephiroth’s knees. “And you’re still walking it. Everything you’ve done, to get to this point, has been a choice. Perhaps not to the exact destination, but to some semblance of happiness.”

Sephiroth stared a while, into Vincent’s eyes. Vincent stared back, waiting patiently for him to respond. He broke the contact first, glancing to his right, to the “1” imprinted on the inside of his wrist. The black ink looked dull in the firelight. He thought to every choice he had made so far – working for Tifa, accepting Cloud’s generosity, enduring the heartache of Cloud choosing someone else, the pain of Genesis returning… the joy of finding Zack, discovering Angeal’s sword, bonding with Denzel and atoning for what his clone had done to the boy. The beach, his panic attack at the Golden Nugget, calling Cloud when he had a moment to spare, reassured by the sound of his voice. Not just on this trip, but when Cloud was out on delivery. When Cloud would call, just to ask what he was making for dinner. Genesis complaining about Cloud’s love of anything greasy.

Closing his eyes, Sephiroth drew in a ragged breath and covered his face with both hands. He felt Vincent move and wrap his arms around his shoulders. Pulled close, Sephiroth gasped and held onto Vincent, sobbing into his shoulder.

“I’m happy,” he breathed, crushing Vincent’s shoulders in a tight embrace. “I… I have a family.”

A dry voice interrupted. “You do.” The response was not Vincent, nor Genesis, but Cid, leaning in the doorway.

Vincent and Sephiroth pulled away at the sound; Cid saluted with a cigarette between his fingers, unlit. Sephiroth wiped at his eyes, trying to compose himself.

“Don’t expect you to call me ‘Pops,’ since I’m still not sure where I am with Vinny-“

“Vinny?” Both Sephiroth and Vincent spoke, then glanced at each other.

“But, yeah, you’re family. Bunch’a ragtag assholes. Morons, really.” Cid gestured toward the door, motioning toward what lay beyond. “Somewhere, out there, is a little shit who loves you, too, and a littler shit, probably getting spoiled back at my house. We’ve all done fucked up things, Sephiroth.” Cid paused and put the cigarette behind his ear. “You, especially, yeah, but damned if you’re not trying to be better. Cloud’s seen it. Why the hell else would he come for ya, if you were a lost cause? You’re family, kiddo. Better get used to it.” On that point, Cid put his cigarette in his mouth and headed outside to smoke it.

Sephiroth let go of his held breath at Cid’s rambling, wiping at his eyes again. “I had hoped to be accepted, but hearing it…”

“It’s a good feeling,” Vincent agreed. “Yuffie still has to put you through her test, but I think the odds may weigh in your favor.”

“Provided that Cloud comes back,” Sephiroth muttered. He looked toward the door, where Cid had made his exit. He could just see wisps of smoke passing by the picture window of the common room.

“He’s always able to find you,” Vincent said. He pushed the bowl of stew into Sephiroth’s hands. “Eat. Get some rest. If he’s not here in the morning, we search.” With that, Vincent went to stand outside with Cid, leaving Sephiroth to his meal.

 

Back in his room, Sephiroth wedged himself under the covers, stealing out what he could from under Genesis, who was deep asleep by the time Sephiroth returned to the bed. He debated kicking Genesis out, but thought better of it – the bed was warmer for his presence anyway.

Just as he laid down, Sephiroth noticed a movement in the corner of the room. He blinked, hoping that it had only been a trick of the light, but the shape became more solid as he stared.

Cloud’s shock of blond hair became illuminated by the moonlight from the window as he lifted his head. Sephiroth sat up, feeling his dinner lurch in his stomach. Cloud just stood there, in the corner, not saying anything. Sephiroth felt a familiar, nearly sickening pull toward Cloud – not the longing from his heart, but something deeper, something both of them had worked desperately to put behind them. But his body, his _cells_ felt like they were being dragged on; his skin itched like someone had raked their nails all over his body, leaving him raw and wounded.

“Cloud.” Sephiroth kept his voice low and soft. Genesis stirred at the sound, but stayed asleep.

Standing again, Sephiroth approached, aware that he had shed his clothes in favor of sleeping in his underwear, but there was no feeling of intimacy. If anything, Sephiroth felt exposed, thrown under a spotlight as his body vibrated, drawing him closer to Cloud.

As he approached, Cloud kept his face down, but raised his arms, not for an open embrace, but reaching right for him. His fingers curled and dropped open until Sephiroth was close enough to touch. Once he was within contact distance, Cloud shoved his body against Sephiroth’s. It felt like being hit with a bucket of ice water, even if it made the raw feeling dissolve, replacing it with an excited tingle.  The repulsive twist in Sephiroth’s stomach nearly won, swallowed down when Sephiroth opened his mouth to speak.

“Cloud, look at me.” He felt Cloud nuzzle his cheek to Sephiroth’s chest instead.

Sephiroth pursed his lips, opted for a commanding tone, instead of the breathless plea of a moment ago.

“Cloud. Look. At me.”

Doing as instructed, Cloud brought his face up. His eyelids drooped with what could have been exhaustion, but the awful tingle running through Sephiroth’s skin confirmed what he knew before Cloud even obeyed.

Cloud’s eyes were bright green.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promised another chapter soon - mwahahahahahahaha...


	8. This Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sephiroth deals with a Mako poisoned Cloud.

Cloud was back, and his eyes were green.

Sephiroth had woken Genesis, trying to shake Cloud out of his Mako-induced haze, and then it had turned to yelling, bringing Cid and Vincent upstairs. They pulled Cloud off Sephiroth; the former trying to crush the latter’s lungs in a fierce embrace.

It had taken putting Cloud under a Sleep spell for any of them to get rest, but only Cloud got any real sleep that first night. As soon as he had awakened, Cloud sought Sephiroth out, padding downstairs, still filthy with Mako and whatever grime he had picked while up on the mountain. He shoved himself between Sephiroth and Genesis at the kitchen table, clinging to Sephiroth’s arm and giving Genesis a foul glare.

The only advantage to having Cloud in that state was Sephiroth could command him to take care of himself. Eat. Bathe. Change your clothes, Cloud. Put that down. Stop trying to kill Genesis/Vincent/Cid. Do _not_ eat that. Masamune is _my_ sword. You cannot have yours back.

They had to hide First Tsurugi, or Cloud was going to kill one of them in their sleep. He had already dragged the corpse of a Nibel dragon as far as the path would allow, leaving it to rot and block the path near ShinRa mansion. That was on the night he had returned.

Three days. Three days passed, and Sephiroth was utterly exhausted. Sleep, deep and refreshing, the kind he had been used to in their apartment, had eluded him. Cloud would not sleep alone, and tucked himself to Sephiroth’s side, baking them both with body heat. Chasing after a poisoned Cloud was worse than chasing after Zack. Children still had some mild sense of self-preservation, and would stop dangerous activities the moment something hurt.

Cloud scaled the water tower, for no apparent reason, and promptly fell off when the shoddy construction made the roof shingles break apart, sending him to the ground in a heap. Nothing broken, but he limped over to the tower and tried to scale it again before Sephiroth peeled him off and threw him over his shoulder. Being hauled off like a sack of potatoes seemed to quell his bad mood, especially since Sephiroth was doing the carrying. The few times Vincent or Cid had managed to catch him, Cloud left bite marks on their arms, snarling something about “disgusting humans” to Cid.

Genesis, however, discovered himself at a particular brand of animosity reserved for him alone.

The few times that Genesis was in charge of Cloud’s care, Cloud perched in the corner, muttering dark words about being made for Sephiroth. That Sephiroth would never choose an incomplete clone. JENOVA this or that.

 

“I have had _enough,_ ” Genesis declared, starting day four with a fist banged into the table. “If he tells me, one more time, that I’m _your_ incom **plete** clone, I’m going to staple his mouth shut. I’m older than you!”

Sephiroth rubbed at his temples. A cup of Cid’s specialty coffee (tar thick and possibly meant for peeling paint) sat in front of him, steaming its awful smell into Sephiroth’s nose. Bags hung under his eyes, and his hair went without brushing. Still, little braids had managed to find their way into his hair, which he imagined Cloud doing when he was supposed to be asleep.

“Do you think I enjoy seeing him like this? Hissing from the corners like a rabid animal? Trying to rut against me like a cat in heat?” Sephiroth jumped and banged a knee on the table; under it, Cloud knocked his head at the same time, whimpering at the pain. “Stop that,” Sephiroth growled, swatting at Cloud’s roving hands on his thighs.

Genesis snorted and sat on the other end of the table. “At least his libido is intact.”

The look Sephiroth shot Genesis should have killed him on the spot. Sephiroth willed himself to believe that it only had not because he was too exhausted to be properly angry with his friend.

“It’s less lovemaking and more like he tries to crawl into my skin.” Sephiroth shuddered and took a sip of Cid’s danger coffee. He smacked his lips and winced at the awful flavor, but the caffeine had become his lifeblood in the last few days.

“Did you get a hold of Tifa?”

“Mm. She said the last time, he was like that for a week, but she was there, in his _mind_ to bring him back to consciousness. I’ve had enough dips in the Lifestream to not take that as a suggestion. Not until I get desperate.”

Genesis peered under the table. Glowing green eyes with twitchy pupils glared back at him. “Well, at least he’s alive.” Leaning on the table, Genesis stole the coffee pot and poured himself a cup of varnish. “Has talking him down had any effect?”

Sephiroth raised a brow and blinked slowly at Genesis. “That was the first thing I tried. Simpler commands get through, but something as… abstract as emotion… seems to roll right off. Even begging him to come back to me… he just…”

“Reunion is coming. Don’t worry,” supplied Cloud, his head in Sephiroth’s lap.

“Says that.” Sephiroth sighed and sat back, enough to look down in Cloud’s face. He thumbed over Cloud’s lips; Cloud blushed and nipped at Sephiroth’s thumb, sucking on the pad reverently. “I don’t know what to do. I can’t take him home like this.”

Genesis cradled his cup in both hands, watching Cloud as he got up from the floor and perch in Sephiroth’s lap. “At least he’s sticking by you.”

“Which would be fantastic if he were himself.” Sephiroth frowned and allowed Cloud to lean over him, cradling his head against his chest. He received another reassurance that Reunion was coming, along with languid strokes over his hair. “That’s not the Reunion I want,” Sephiroth muttered.

Genesis stood from his seat and took his coffee with him, seeking some company that was neither entirely miserable, nor brainwashed by misfortune. Behind him, he could hear Cloud begging Sephiroth to ‘have’ him. Genesis hid himself just out of sight – he hoped – and watched Sephiroth deal with Cloud privately.

“I want a number.”

“No, Cloud, you don’t.”

“Is that my name?”

“Yes, it is. And you’re not just a number, Cloud.” Sephiroth looked at his wrist, at the hated “1” inscribed there. “I am One, the first, but… you’re beyond that.” Sephiroth cupped Cloud’s face in his hands. “You’re not a clone, or a vessel or a puppet… you’re a warrior, a father, a dear friend…” He stopped and took a deep breath. “To quantify you within a numerical scale is impossible. You’re kind and sweet and funny… and a huge pain in my ass. You frustrate and confuse me, but you’re also the only person who made me feel alive after so many years feeling numb inside.” He pressed his forehead to Cloud’s and breathed slowly, shuddering. “I love you. I need you to come back. For your family, if not for me.”

Genesis felt his heart lurch at Sephiroth’s confession; never in his life had he imagined Sephiroth to have such a depth for his ability to love, but there it was, given freely to Cloud, who had drawn silent.

“Cloud?”

Sephiroth shifted in his chair, looking up at Cloud’s eyes. Blue flickered within the green, a swirl of recognition dawning for just a second. A second was enough to renew Sephiroth’s hope.

“Cloud, listen to me. I love you. More than I have ever felt _anything_ in my life. Please, I know you’re in there.” Touching Cloud’s face with one hand, Sephiroth pulled them together, pressing a tentative kiss to his lips. For a moment, Cloud eagerly reciprocated, a giggle stifled against Sephiroth's mouth; Sephiroth shoved Cloud back and looked at his eyes. Solid green.

“Damn.”

In the common room, Genesis let go of his captive breath. Romantic confessions may have worked in fairy tales, but it seemed a kiss from the handsome prince would not break this spell.

 

Outside, Cid leaned against the water tower, with Vincent nearby, upwind of smoke. Genesis approached them cautiously, holding his coffee cup out as a shield. Both had been snappy towards him during the last few days. Even toward one another, which had Genesis curious.

“Any progress?” Cid asked, flicking a cigarette butt onto the ground and stomping it out.

“Of course not. I would have been running out here to hug you both,” Genesis said, cocking his hip to one side, not joining the other men in the shade of the water tower. “And I’m not a hugger. I’m afraid Sleeping Beauty is still guarded by the dragon of his own mind.”

Cid rolled his eyes and folded his arms over his chest. Vincent was already in the same position, but completely geared up, drumming gold talons against his arm. Leaving his gauntlet or sabotons around had proved dangerous, as Cloud liked to use pointy things to jab any one of them at random.

“Something is blocking him from within,” Vincent offered, staring at the ground in thought. “Perhaps it would be better to separate him from Sephiroth for the time being.”

Genesis scoffed. “Good luck with that. Hope you won’t miss any fingers. I still think he’s going to shiv me with a rock at any moment I let my guard down.”

“Yanno, maybe getting his aggression out wouldn’t be such a bad thing,” Cid suggested. “At least until he wears himself out. Burn off some of that Mako. It can’t be doin’ him any good, stewin’ in that shit.”

“Cid?”

“Yeah, Vin?”

Genesis jumped as Vincent spun Cid to face him, pulling the pilot in for a searing kiss. Genesis even blushed on Cid’s behalf, while Highwind’s knees buckled under him.

“You’re a genius,” Vincent breathed, holding Cid up before he collapsed into a puddle of himself.

“Well, I know that, but why?” Cid asked, red faced and looking eager to have another bone-melting kiss from Vincent. Instead, Vincent pinned him to the stony base of the water tower.

“You and Genesis have to clear the path. I have an idea,” Vincent said, turning away from them both. “Get that carcass away from the road, as quick as you can.” With that, Vincent disappeared into the inn.

 

Sephiroth stared at Vincent through the tufts of blond hair obscuring his face. “You want me to walk him?” he deadpanned. Cloud had curled up on Sephiroth when he had escaped the kitchen for the living room, but Cloud was not content to perch beside him. No, he had crawled up in Sephiroth’s lap like an affectionate cat and even hissed when Vincent had gotten too close.

Vincent’s face was as unamused as Sephiroth’s expression. “Not _walk_ him like a pet. Take him _for_ a walk. Run with him, or after him. Sitting around, letting the Mako fester in his system is not doing him any favors.”

“And taking him outside, where he can escape me… will?” Sephiroth frowned and raised an eyebrow. “I don’t think that’s such a good ide-“  
**“You can command him.”**

Vincent pursed his lips and continued with his thought. “He’s clearly not going to leave you alone. Even if he does, in this state, you can command him to return to you. You did it from miles-“

“Do you think I want to do that?!” Sephiroth stood; in the same motion, Cloud slipped off his lap and stood between Sephiroth and Vincent, arched and arms out like he was ready to tackle Vincent if given the word. “I don’t want him to bend to my will, I want-“

Vincent held up both hands to stop Sephiroth before he worked himself into a rage. “You want him to be willing, I know. But, the Mako in his system is going to burn away slowly if he’s left sitting around like this.”

“No… it’s not…” Sephiroth licked his lips and scratched at the back of Cloud’s head, receiving an affectionate nuzzle for the effort. At least he had been learning _something_ about Cloud during the last few days.

Cloud looked up at Sephiroth, eyes still burning a bright green that made Sephiroth’s stomach turn to see. He must have grimaced, because Cloud touched his face with both hands, stroking his thumbs over Sephiroth’s cheeks. A slip of blue flashed in Cloud’s eyes and Sephiroth stood up, nearly dumping Cloud out of his lap.

“I have an even worse idea,” Sephiroth said.

Vincent raised a brow and withheld comment, arms folded over his chest.

“We’re going to need our weapons.”

 

“He wants his weapons.” Cid balked and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I mean, there’s worse fuckin’ ideas… there ain’t any Black Materia no more, so at least that-“

“Cid,” Vincent warned. He had retreated outdoors when Sephiroth told him his plan; frankly, it was godawful, but there was logic to the idea Vincent could not argue with, especially considering the men it involved.

Throwing his arms out at the sides, Cid turned toward the gunslinger in exasperation. “Well! What the fuck _am_ I supposed to think? Cloud’s tried to shish-kabob all of us more times than once in the last few days – hell, I thought I saw threaten Genesis with a _spoon_ at breakfast. Handin’ over First Tsurugi sounds like a bad fuckin’ idea.”

“It is a… bad fucking idea,” Sephiroth intoned. Cid, Vincent, and the yet-to-comment Genesis all turned toward the voice.

Sephiroth pulled Cloud along, hand-in-hand, both outfitted completely in their battle kits, right down to the pauldrons and various belts. Sephiroth did not make eye contact with any of them, but fixated on the ground.

“It’s a terrible plan, but it’s also the best I’ve got. Just… taking him around Nibelheim may stir the worst memories for him, might drive him deeper into…” Sephiroth let go of Cloud’s hand and gestured toward his blank face. “This. His body knows how to fight.”

Cid strode up to Sephiroth and got into his line of sight. “And if he tries to come after us? You gonna protect three other people?”

“I’m not asking you to bear witness, Cid.” Sephiroth met Cid’s furious gaze with his own despairing glance. “And I would think that you can take care of yourselves. I can fight multiple opponents at once, if I have to. Even Cloud can’t be in two places.”

Cid huffed. “Uh, yeah, he can, and you know it. It’s called _Omnislash._ ”

Genesis stepped forward and pulled Cid back before he could throw more insults into his face. “What do you need us to do, Sephiroth?”

Sephiroth looked up into his friend’s face and smiled, briefly, before he took a deep breath. “I need you to trust me. I know that’s a lot to ask-“

“Done,” said Vincent, hooking a hand under Cid’s arm to pull him away, finding Highwind much more pliant than Genesis ever would. “First Tsurugi and Masamune are in the old water tower.”

Cloud turned and started to walk toward the village center, where the old, empty tower sat. He sprang up with catlike dexterity, landing on the roof and beginning to claw at the shingles. He ripped them up and behind himself as if he were throwing about trash, peeling away the layers like one would an onion.

Sephiroth sighed and turned away from Cid, Vincent and Genesis. “Give us space,” he said, walking away to approach Cloud.

Cloud turned when he sensed Sephiroth drawing near. “Sword. Reunion.” He looked away and started peeling shingles again.

Sephiroth nodded. “Yes, Reunion.” He opted to climb the ladder to the tower, leaning on the wall as he reached the top step. “If you can prove yourself to me.”

Freezing up, Cloud abandoned his task and scrambled to the edge, breathing in a heavy panic. “I can be good. Reunion can happen. I can help.”

Swallowing the bile in his throat, Sephiroth nodded and touched Cloud’s face gingerly. “You can… if you can land a blow on me. I only require the best – and if you can’t hit me, you cannot be part of the Reunion. Do you understand?”

“Yes. I can fight. I’ll do whatever you want.”

Sephiroth nodded, solemn and stoic. “Good. Before you tear into the roof again, there _is_ a door.” To demonstrate, he reached for the panel and unlatched it, the rusty hinges groaning as the water tower’s side swung open.

Cloud looked into the hatch, upside down, before he swung into the opening like a spider monkey. He scrambled in and only a minute later, he tried to wedge himself, Masamune and First Tsurugi through the hole. Sephiroth chuckled and reached in to help Cloud get out again.

“Highwind must have put those there…” Sephiroth mused aloud. He took Masamune from Cloud and dropped to the ground below. “Come along, Cloud.”

Following suit, Cloud leapt from the tower and landed on both feet. As they passed Cid, Vincent and Genesis, Cloud made a face and hissed viciously. He then scampered after Sephiroth, linking arms with him as they left the village for the open valley outside of Nibelheim.

Cid pulled out a cigarette and shook his head. “Think he knows what he’s doin’?” he asked.

Vincent sighed and closed his eyes. “I think he’s desperate, but I can’t argue with his reasoning. Violence has been the only language they speak. Their memories, feelings for one another… are bound in blood and steel.”

Genesis snorted. “And you have the balls to call _me_ dramatic.”

 

A cool, damp wind blew up from the south, bringing with it moisture from the sea, tempered by the harsh atmosphere of the mountains. The valley howled with the wind, the only sound between them. Outside of the village, they would be uninterrupted; no one lived this close to Nibelheim anymore, and the only other souls for were their friends… and local wildlife.

Sephiroth had to command Cloud to stay behind while he took his place, holding Masamune aloft. He squared his shoulders and planted his feet.

“Now, Cloud, remember… if you can land a blow on me, you are worthy. If you can draw blood, I might even ravish you in all the ways you’ve begged me the last few days,” Sephiroth said. He was grateful for the distance; he was lying, blatantly, and if Cloud were closer… even in Cloud’s poisoned state, Sephiroth felt he would have given away his own bluff. He had wanted to weep, or withdraw into himself, but Cloud needed him.

“Give me your best,” he commanded. “Fight.”

Cloud gripped tighter on First Tsurugi, and, as ordered, charged. His opening move was a wild leap into the air, dropping onto Sephiroth and meeting swords above his head. Obvious. Pragmatic, but obvious.

Sephiroth shoved him off and bounced back a few steps. “Don’t hold back! Give me everything you’ve got. I’ll give you all of me.” He resumed his original posture. Wind gripped his hair and coat, making them flow behind him, cutting a long shadow on the valley floor.

Caught on his feet, Cloud paused, sizing Sephiroth up. He surged forward, stopping at the end of Masamune’s reach just before it became lethal, and cut left, racing up the mountainside. Sephiroth turned to chase him; he was airborne moments later, meeting Cloud blow for blow. Sparks rained onto the dry mountain grass, starting a small fire.

Gaining altitude, Sephiroth spread out his wing to keep aloft, hovering on the valley wind. Cloud looked up at him from the valley floor, surrounded by patches of charred earth and grass. The ground at Cloud’s feet crumbled as he pushed off, zipping toward Sephiroth as if shot from a cannon.

Sephiroth caught First Tsurugi against Masamune and felt the impact rattle through his arms. Green met green and Cloud smiled at him, brows down in a determined grin.

“Is this all?” Sephiroth said, doing his best to sound bored with the fight. He separated their blades and grabbed Cloud by his shirt. Spinning in midair, he threw Cloud as hard as he could toward the mountain.

Twin blades unlocked from their positions, turning one sword into two as Cloud curled up like a ball and flipped himself over, catching on the rocks instead of crashing into them. Facing the ground, suspended between two swords, Cloud planted his feet and took off across the range; he gathered speed going around the half-pipe of the mountain valley, and in an instant, bore down on Sephiroth from _above_ him.

In the moments between impact with Cloud’s sword, and the crater he made in the mountainside, Sephiroth had a chance to be impressed before pain blossomed over his back. He got a knee up and under Cloud’s stomach, catapulting him away. Sephiroth leaped and tumbled in the other direction.

Cloud already stood with First Tsurugi, reassembled and in both fists as they had started the fight – they were both just much filthier from the falling dirt and grass they rolled in. Sephiroth raised Masamune to his shoulder and shot forward, aiming for Cloud’s left arm. He pushed down the sick feelings as he recalled the other times he had impaled Cloud like this, the agony on Cloud’s face at being lifted on the blade…

His reverie cut short, as Sephiroth struck – not flesh, but metal. Cloud had parried the assault, shoving Sephiroth hard to one side. In a blur of movement, Cloud twisted his body and rolled along Masamune’s length until he was at Sephiroth’s shoulder.

“Not again,” Cloud breathed into his ear; Sephiroth felt his body being thrown into the air - a mighty roar of effort on Cloud’s part, with smaller arms lifting Sephiroth clean off his feet.

Thus suspended, Sephiroth felt everything _slow_. He faced the gray skies, gilded edges of sunlight fading from his vision as the corners of his eyes provided a glimpse of First Tsurugi’s blades, separate and surrounding him.

He recognized the move. How many times had he fallen to Cloud’s sword like this? Shutting his eyes, Sephiroth swallowed, the movement difficult under Slow’s effect on his body. He could barely breathe, waiting for the inevitable.

_I’m sorry, Cloud. I tried. I lost you…_

Sephiroth felt the assault, but refused to watch Cloud tear him apart. It felt like being shoved around, each hit so precise and quick… He wanted his last thoughts to be of Cloud, not as a puppet, but the man who kissed him in desperate confusion for his own thoughts in Costa del Sol. Of Zack, his sweet son, who would not know what became of his fathers. Perhaps Genesis would tell him, when he was older, what had happened. Surely, Genesis would be able to overcome Cloud… He could finally be the hero he was meant to be.

Sephiroth felt his body hit the ground, but he had shut out all pain, waiting for the killing blow. The vibrations of a second impact told him Cloud was just standing over him.

Just. Standing.

Chancing a ruined memory to take to the Lifestream, Sephiroth cracked open his eyes. Cloud, in fact, knelt over him, one of First Tsurugi’s smallest blades in both hands, held over his face. Sephiroth held his breath as he felt the tip of the blade gently nick a patch of skin just beneath his right eye. The small, insignificant slice woke Sephiroth to the pain he realized he had _not_ been feeling at all.

Eyes wide, he glanced down at himself – he was whole – bruised, but alive. He looked like he had taken a sound thrashing than even engaged in swordplay.

Sephiroth’s breath caught in his throat. He looked back up at Cloud, the short sword lax in his grip as he dropped it to one side. His head tipped back, toward the sky. Cloud’s weight settled on Sephiroth’s stomach, and everything about his posture was loose.

“Cloud?”

For a moment, Sephiroth had thought the overcast skies had cleared, as he met a beautiful blue. Instead, Cloud tipped his head forward, making eye contact with Sephiroth. It was not the sky, but Cloud’s own eyes, back to the shade they were supposed to be. In that instant, Sephiroth decided it was his favorite color.

“Clou-! Mmm…” Sephiroth’s eyes drifted shut when Cloud kissed him. Tension flooded out of his body like an undammed river; he draped his arms over Cloud’s back and opened his mouth, letting Cloud’s tongue dart in to greet his own.

Breaking for air, Cloud chuckled when Sephiroth tried to follow, to keep his lips on Cloud’s. “At ease, SOLDIER.”

Sephiroth groaned and flopped back in the dirt. “That’s my line, technically.” He thumbed over Cloud’s lips, studying his face. “I thought I had lost you.”

Cloud grinned and kissed the tip of Sephiroth’s nose. “You’re not getting rid of me that easily.”

Rolling his eyes, Sephiroth blinked back a few tears, trying to keep the moment happy. “I would never… not anymore…” He lost the battle with his emotions when Cloud kissed him again; tears rolled out of his eyes and back into his hair. Cloud cupped his face with one hand and the back of his head with the other, keeping him out of the dirt.

Pulling apart again, Sephiroth tightened his grip over Cloud’s back. “I’m sorry… I should have just called, just talked to you, to someone…”

“Hey, I get it. I’m not sure I like her, either…” Cloud murmured into Sephiroth’s shoulder.

Sephiroth gulped, his word coming out in fragments. “No, not just… even… Nibelheim. Years ago…”

Cloud let Sephiroth go and sat up. He pulled Sephiroth with him and into an embrace. “I know… I forgive you.” Cloud scooted back on Sephiroth’s thighs and looked up. He pulled off his gloves and touched Sephiroth’s cheek. “I love you.”

Sephiroth sniffed and nodded. “I love you, too.”

Cloud’s smile in reply was gentler than his grin. “I recall. I was still…” he tapped his temple with one hand. “In here, when you made your _passionate_ confession. I just didn’t have the strength to pull myself out of it.”

“You remember that?”

“Yeah. And me grinding against you like… what was it? A cat in heat?”

Sephiroth turned red and looked away. “I was tired. And annoyed. You were very persistent.”

Cloud’s grin was wicked when he turned Sephiroth to face him again. “Well, I’ve seen you naked. Why do you think I gave you that little nick?” he asked, tapping the tiny slice that already healed beneath Sephiroth’s eye in a neat, pale line. “You said if I drew blood, you’d ravish me in various ways. Well, I drew blood. I expect a thorough ravishing.”

Sephiroth pulled Cloud against his chest and chuckled. Cloud reciprocated the gesture, kissing and nipping at Sephiroth’s neck. “I wasn’t kidding about the ravishing, either.”

“Will you stop saying ‘ravishing?’”

Cloud snickered. “Sounds better when you say it. You make it sound elegant.”

Taking a deep breath, Sephiroth pushed Cloud away from his neck and pressed their foreheads together. “Then, let’s go back to the village, get cleaned up, put our friends’ fears to rest and then… we make love.”

Cloud climbed off Sephiroth and offered him a hand up out of the dirt. “Maybe we should put ourselves to rest. You look like shit. I’m sure I’m not much more of a prettier picture.”

Sephiroth pulled Cloud up against his chest and held him tight. “You’re absolutely beautiful, just as you are.”

Laughing into Sephiroth’s pectorals, Cloud swatted at him. “Then I bet a wash and a sleep will make me look godly. C’mon you big sap, I reek, so do you, and I’m serious about the sex. Zack’s not going to give us a moment alone when we pick him up in Rocket Town.”

A deep rumble vibrated through Cloud as Sephiroth laughed. “Good to know your persistence isn’t just a side effect of the Mako.”

Cloud grinned up at Sephiroth and squeezed around his waist. “Oh, Hell no. I’m very horny and expect that SOLDIER stamina of yours to keep up.” As emphasis, he grabbed Sephiroth by the rear, making him jump. “Maybe a little overstimulated.”

Sephiroth smiled and kissed Cloud again, leaned over him, arms firm around his body.

_Never leaving you again,_ he thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this came later than I anticipated, but my usual beta-proofer had to move so I didn't want to bug him and honestly, I ended up rewriting about half of this before taking it where I did. But, I thank you all for your patience, kudos and comments! They mean so much to me!
> 
> Will the next chapter be pure smut? We just don't know. (might be feelings porn tho)


	9. Ready for Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sephiroth and Cloud get some alone time. Emotional alone time.

“So… yer… better? Just like that?” Cid snapped his fingers for emphasis.

Cloud, sitting across from Cid and beside Sephiroth at the inn’s dining table, nodded. He imitated snapping his fingers, adding, “Just like that.”

“Well, that’s fucking bullshit.”

Vincent bristled and Genesis deflated, both exasperated with Cid’s dismissal. Genesis raised a brow across the tabletop to Vincent and shook his head.

“You really find his crassness to be attractive?” Genesis asked.

Vincent shrugged. “His skepticism comes from a place of wisdom, crude as though it may be,”

Cid shifted uncomfortably, chewing on the end of an unlit cigarette. “That… was a compliment, right, darlin’?”

Vincent smiled meagerly and patted Cid’s hand. “Of course, my dear.”

Cloud cleared his throat and raised his free hand, the other linked with Sephiroth’s under the table. “ _Anyway…_ as I was saying, I am still a little buzzed on Mako, but I can think straight.” Cloud grinned and chuckled, adding “Well. Straight- _ish_.”

Sephiroth dropped his head to Cloud’s shoulder. “You _are_ better. You’re making terrible jokes again.”

Genesis groaned and turned his head. “I don’t know if I like you acting affectionate like this. You’re disgusting.”

“Oh, grow up. Mom and Dad are back together, Genny, so you’ll have to get used to it,” snapped Cloud, grinning across the table.

Sephiroth lifted his head and stared at Cloud. “Which one of us is ‘Mom’ in this scenario?”

“I dunno, you tend to be way more of a mother to Zack than me, so-“

Cid sputtered and nearly dropped a glass of water on the table.“If ya ask him ta call you ‘Daddy’ at any point in this conversation, y’all can _swim_ back to Edge.”

Sephiroth snorted and shook his head. “Being a parent changes the context of that word. I certainly won’t be using it in the bedroom.”

Cloud frowned, nodding. “Yeah, no, that’s not gonna happen. We both have parent-based issues as it is.”

Across the table, Cloud could see Vincent somehow get even paler as an awkward silence settled over them, uncomfortable and heavy. Sephiroth squeezed his eyes shut and dropped his head. Genesis shifted first and got up from the table. “Well, now that we’ve all thoroughly had our stomachs turned, I think I’m going to gather my things and relocate to another house in town. The last thing I need keeping me up is both this conversation _and_ the sounds of you two fucking. Or _four_ of you. Maybe Shinra installed a wine cellar in the mayor’s house…”

Cid stared after Genesis, watching him go before jumping up himself. “Sounds like a plan. Um, getting out of here, that is. Let these two have their, um… reunion?”

Vincent sighed and got to his feet. “Very subtle.”

 

That evening, Cloud sat back in Sephiroth’s bed, glad to be in it and lucid for a change, instead of burrowing into his covers like some possessed gopher. He tapped the tips of his fingers together, staring into space while he waited for Sephiroth to join him. Distant from his thoughts, Cloud could hear the shower running as Sephiroth cleaned up; they had agreed that the bathroom was just too small for them to try to shower together, even if it “seemed sexy at the time.”

Taking an elbow to the face was decidedly _un-_ sexy and Cloud scrubbed up and got out first, leaving Sephiroth to himself.

Now that his mind was clear again, and the excess Mako in his system down to feeling as if he had drunk an entire pot of Cid’s coffee, Cloud let his thoughts drift aimlessly. He had wanted to be with Sephiroth, romantically, platonically, even in the same room without embarrassing himself for the better part of his teen years – the parts he could remember without horrific flashbacks, anyway – and now… They were together. They had a son, unofficially. Sephiroth loved him, unconditionally, even though a year prior, Cloud had tried to separate his arm from his torso.

The shower shut off, but Sephiroth had yet to join him. Cloud stared at the door, feeling anxiousness curl in his gut. Sex with Sephiroth was something he, admittedly, jerked off to in his fantasies a lot – and not all of them had happened before the Crisis. Sometimes, a dark dream had felt too real, and Cloud had found himself rolled over on his stomach, thrusting into the mattress while the hushed whispers of a nightmare still rang in his ears.

“Cloud?”

Cloud’s head whipped up at the sound of his name; Sephiroth stood in the bedroom door, brow furrowed and lips pressed into a frown. Sitting up further in bed, Cloud rested his elbows on his knees and took a long look. The man gliding across the cool, hardwood floor was no nightmare, not anymore. Not at all, if he were honest with himself. Sephiroth could still split mountains with little effort and a sword in his hand, and yet… Cloud had seen Sephiroth cradle Zack gently in his arms and plaster bandages to his knees. The man before him had friends, a family – a family Cloud readily shared with him.

Shifting over in bed, Cloud made space for Sephiroth to slide between the covers beside him. Pressing up against Sephiroth, Cloud heard the soft, pleased chuckle deep in his chest. Long arms curled around Cloud, slow and tentative, nearly hesitant.

“You can hold me, Seph.” Cloud fell with Sephiroth as they laid down, Cloud’s arms around Sephiroth’s waist, keeping them together. “Your heart’s racing. Are you nervous?”

Sephiroth’s hand smoothed over Cloud’s back and his voice came out as a dry croak. “I’m a lot of things, right now. Happy. Anxious. Hoping that this is all real. I might have to kill someone if this is another vision. I don’t like being toyed with. The anxiety is a very strong contender for top emotion at the moment.”

Cloud lifted his head and studied Sephiroth’s face. “Seph, I’m fine. We’re good.”

Sephiroth shifted and rolled the both of them onto their sides. “It’s not that I worry about our relationship, I worry about disappointing you.”

“D’you mean…?”

“Sexually.”

Cloud’s eyebrows shot up. He watched Sephiroth’s eyes dart to one side, just visible for their glow in the dark space created between them. “I don’t think-“

“You’re more experienced than I am. It wasn’t exactly a part of my training regimen. I… had lovers, in the past, but few and far between and _many years ago_.”

“Are you afraid of being rusty?” Cloud’s face softened with a gentle smile. “I can guide you. Or we can wait, until you’re ready.” He pulled Sephiroth’s hand from behind his back and brought it to his lips. “Hell, you can just kiss me all night, if you want. You’re pretty good at that.”

Sephiroth’s gaze picked up from where it rested on the pillows, his mouth puckering a bit in thought. “I seem to recall you putting your tongue in my mouth first.”

“You receive well.”

Sephiroth laughed and curled himself over Cloud, pushing him down into the bed. “You can make anything sound lewd, can’t you?”

Cloud held his hands up defensively, smiling, hoping he looked like the picture of innocence. Judging by Sephiroth’s gracefully arched brow and smirk, he did not. “I didn’t say anything _lewd_ , Sephiroth. It’s not my fault your mind’s in the gutter.” Cloud bracketed Sephiroth’s waist with his knees. “Not so ‘inexperienced,’ are you?”

“No, I am, but I’m _also_ a fast learner.” Settling down on his elbows, Sephiroth kissed him, soft and gentle until Cloud parted his lips. Inviting Sephiroth’s tongue in with a flick of his own, Cloud reached up and ran his fingers over Sephiroth’s scalp, getting a handful of damp silver and tugging, just a little. Sephiroth moaned in response and slipped a hand under Cloud, grabbing his ass and squeezing.

“Trying to leave bruises?” Cloud murmured, kissing away from Sephiroth’s mouth to his neck, breathless. “Gonna let everyone know I’m yours?”

Sephiroth craned his head back and Cloud sucked at his Adam’s apple. “I’ve left enough marks, but feel free to-Ah!” Cloud bit his throat without warning, licking the warm mark he left behind. It would heal by morning, but Cloud just wanted to hear Sephiroth gasp like that again.

Hooking his leg over the back of Sephiroth’s thigh, Cloud felt all of Sephiroth’s bulk lying on top of him; warm and heavy, Sephiroth supported himself enough as to not smother Cloud. Every firm muscle rolled and flexed with Sephiroth’s slow grinding on top of Cloud. Eager to reciprocate, Cloud pushed back, arching with fluid motions just to be pressed down into the mattress.

Above him, Sephiroth moaned and pulled back, just a little, so he could see Cloud’s face. Long, cool fingers danced over Cloud’s cheek and down his throat, making him shiver. Cloud reached up and settled his hand at the nape of Sephiroth’s neck, kneading the warmer skin there.

“Are you nervous?” Cloud asked.

“What makes you think I am?”

“Cold fingers. And I can feel your pulse,” Cloud added, touching his fingertips to the side of Sephiroth’s throat.

“I see.”

“We can wait, Seph. Hell, you look ready to pass out, anyway.”

Sephiroth pouted, actually sticking his lip out and casting his gaze through long lashes. “You’re not upset?” he asked, almost in a whisper. Cloud decided he never wanted to hear Sephiroth’s voice be that small ever again.

“Of course not. Here.” Cloud pushed lightly on Sephiroth’s shoulder and rolled with him, until Sephiroth settled on his back. From there, Cloud pressed up alongside him, kissing his lips and jaw with dainty pecks. A chuckle rose from Sephiroth, as he tried to chase after Cloud’s mouth, only to find a gentle hand on his shoulder, resisting.

“Relax. We’re here now. We can rest.” Cloud laid his head on Sephiroth’s chest, listening to his racing heart. After a few deep breaths, Sephiroth’s pulse slowed. Cloud almost thought he had fallen asleep, except Sephiroth moved his hand, clasping lightly at Cloud’s shoulder. He drew little circles in Cloud’s skin, and hummed softly.

“You’re not sleeping,” Cloud murmured. Lifting his head, he caught a glimpse of Sephiroth’s eyes still open, until they snapped shut.

“Not yet. I’m simply… contemplating.”

“Well, what are you _contemplating?_ ”

“How this could be different. Any part of this, from a year ago, until now, could have gone another way.”

“Yeah, I could have pulled my head out of my ass sooner.”

Sephiroth snorted. Cloud settled back down when he was certain Sephiroth’s eyes were going to stay closed. “Perhaps. I could have been more forthcoming about my feelings for you.”

“Mm.” Cloud stroked over Sephiroth’s stomach, feeling out the strong abs with a light touch. “That probably would have made things worse. I already freaked out when you said you chose to change for me. I guess I just didn’t understand that you _wanted_ to change.”

Clearing his throat, Sephiroth followed up. “Our history-“

“No.” Cloud cut him off. “Not going back there. The history is just that. It’s… history. I see you, this you,” Cloud punctuated his statement by poking Sephiroth in the center of his chest. “The man you are now, as better than I could have imagined. Certainly well beyond some wanky fantasy of a teenager. You… love me.”

“I do.”

“And I love you.”

Sephiroth laughed and curled his arms around Cloud. “You do.”

“ _And_ , _”_ Cloud paused and scooted upward, tucking his head under Sephiroth’s chin. “We have a little boy waiting for us to come home. Who loves _us_ very much.”

Sephiroth’s reply was softer, choked up in his throat and emphasized with a sniffle. “We do.”

“We’re good, right? I mean… right now, I’m… happy.”

No response from Sephiroth after the last statement. Cloud almost thought that he had passed out from exhaustion, until Sephiroth’s hand came up and clapped over his eyes. Sephiroth’s breath hitched, and Cloud shot up onto his palms, wondering what he had said to make Sephiroth so upset. His bottom lip trembled; Cloud tried to pry Sephiroth’s hand away with gentle touches.

“Hey, whoa, what did I say?”

Sephiroth sucked his bottom lip in and bit down on it, taking long breaths through his nose in an effort to calm down. Under Cloud, he trembled and his chest heaved as he struggled to rein himself in.

“Seph?” Cloud took a deep breath. His mind raced to possibilities – was this a panic attack? Just sheer tiredness overwhelming him? “Please…”

Letting go of his face, Sephiroth moved his hand to cup Cloud’s cheek. “Nothing is wrong. I just… when you said you were happy, it just…” Sephiroth coughed and rubbed at his face with both hands, wiping away tears. “I don’t think I’ve ever really made anyone _happy_. It struck… hard.”

“Like a punch to the gut, huh?” Cloud smiled and leaned down, kissing Sephiroth’s eyelids, over his warm face and down to his lips. “So, are you happy, too?”

“I think so.” Sephiroth pulled Cloud down on top of him and held him tight. “You make me happy.”

“Good.”

 

Sunlight streamed through curtains and warmed a line of skin from Cloud’s cheek to his shoulder, waking him to a lovely sight. Sephiroth slept just under him, lined in sunny gold from the rays coming through the window. Cloud moved carefully as to avoid disturbing him, observing the peaceful expression on his face. No furrowed brow or frown while he focused on a task. His lids twitched slightly with his dreams and his lips slightly parted with his breathing.

Once again, with him at peace like this, Cloud recalled how young Sephiroth had been when he discovered a lie, a half-truth about his birth, the process that had made him into a weapon. And Angeal. And Genesis. What he had lost, and what now what he had earned.

Folding his hands under his chin, Cloud stayed still for as long as he could, until Sephiroth’s eyes rolled open, and he winced from the light in his face. Groaning uncomfortably, Sephiroth covered his eyes with one hand. “Good morning,” he rasped, coughing to clear his throat.

“Good morning,” Cloud replied, pushing up to kiss Sephiroth’s cheek. “Sleep well?”

“Of course.” Sephiroth rolled onto his side and pulled Cloud close, pressing a kiss to his forehead. “Better than I have in a long time.”

Cloud pouted at the implications, but pushed concern aside and sat up. “Me too.” Slipping off the bed, he made his way to the bathroom; when he came out, Cloud nearly hit the ceiling with surprise when he found Sephiroth patiently – and damned quietly – waiting in the doorway.

“Did I startle you?” Sephiroth purred, a cheeky smirk on his lips.

Cloud swatted him on the chest as they traded places. “How does a three hundred pound super soldier manage to make so little noise?”

“I’m like a cat. I stalk in silence.”

“Yeah, you’re like a cat all right.”

Sephiroth grinned and shut the door. “Meow,” he said, just before it closed.

Snickering, Cloud went back to the bed and flopped across the middle of it, arms flung over his head. The cool air in the room felt familiar, reminding of his youth in the real Nibelheim. It barely affected him now, even though he lay in nothing but his boxer briefs, on top of the blankets.

Not alone for long, Sephiroth rejoined Cloud, stretching out on his stomach beside him, looking for all the world like a human cat; arms in front of him, back arching as he popped his spine.

“What?”

Cloud chuckled and rolled over, climbing onto Sephiroth’s back. “You really are like a big housecat.”

“If I’m a housecat, and Zack is a puppy… what does that make you?”

“C’mon. A Chocobo.”

Sephiroth dropped his head down and shook with laughter under the wall of his arms. “You are ridiculous.”

“That’s why you love me,” Cloud replied, massaging the base of Sephiroth’s neck and shoulders. “What do you wanna do today? I mean, aside from packing.”

Sephiroth’s words came out in breathy moans as Cloud worked out the tension in his shoulders. “I’d prefer just spending the time with you, however you like.”

“Hmm, that’s a little dangerous. Leaving everything up to me?” Cloud pushed aside the curtain of Sephiroth’s hair and kissed the back of his neck and between his shoulder blades. A smattering of stubborn freckles, not yet faded from their trip to Costa del Sol, dotted Sephiroth’s pale skin. Cloud pressed a kiss to the ones he could reach; Sephiroth watched as best he could over his shoulder.

“Seems like you have a few good ideas already,” Sephiroth rumbled, pillowing his head on his folded arms. “I don’t think enabling you to do more is out of the question.”

Cloud grinned and changed position, bracing himself on his knees, seated on Sephiroth’s thighs. He lightly raked his nails down Sephiroth’s back, humming in approval when Sephiroth hissed and arched up. Leaning over, Cloud tucked his hands under Sephiroth’s arms, bracing himself while he kissed along Sephiroth’s shoulders.

“I like that idea, too,” murmured Sephiroth. He peered over his shoulder from where he lie; Cloud grinned down at him.

“Seems like I’m full of’em. How do you like this?” Cloud kissed further along Sephiroth’s spine until he had to move, then scooted back until he nearly fell off the end of the bed. Yelping, Cloud jumped forward and tucked his arms under Sephiroth’s stomach, feeling him tremble with laughter again.

“Are you alright?” he gasped between chuckles.

Cloud pouted and blew a raspberry at the dip in Sephiroth’s lower back, causing him to squirm. “You dare laugh at me?!” he accused, putting on his best (most terrible) threatening voice.

“You’re… _silly_.”

“You’ve clearly never listened to yourself monologue.”

Sephiroth rolled over; Cloud moved to lay on top of him. “I like this side of you.” Sephiroth cupped his hand on Cloud’s cheek. “If I’d had you in my life sooner…”

“I would have been underage, probably,” Cloud chuckled. He pushed further up and rested his chin on Sephiroth’s collarbone. “And probably too busy swooning over every little thing you did to really be the help you needed.”

Sephiroth snorted. “Until you got to really know me, perhaps.”

“So, you were always a melodramatic dork?”

“You’ll have to ask Genesis, but it’s likely.”

Cloud smiled and pulled Sephiroth’s hand from his face, kissing the knuckles. “Well, I like this side of _you_. You’re kind of cute when you’re sentimental.”

Sephiroth blushed and turned his head, smiling and failing to hide it. “Better than ‘beautiful?’ Or ‘perfect?’”

Cloud shrugged. “Beauty fades, perfection is… well, it’s bullshit. I’m sure you knew that already.” Wiggling up closer, Cloud kissed at Sephiroth’s jaw and neck. “I like you like this. Flawed. Damaged.”

“Broken?”

The tense choke in Sephiroth’s voice made Cloud sit up and sigh. “You’re not broken. If you are, so am I. But, we’re also glued back together with big globs of slop and held together with duct tape and prayers. And that’s okay.”

Sephiroth pulled Cloud down into a kiss and held him there. No tongue, no desperate parting of mouths, just contact, from lips all the way down to Cloud’s toes. Cloud drew in a deep breath, feeling Sephiroth do the same under him, letting it out slowly.

“Thank you, Cloud,” Sephiroth murmured when they parted, the words soft in Cloud’s ear.

“Hey. I get it. We’re probably the only ones who are gonna get each other… like this.”

“We’re fucked up, aren’t we?”

Cloud tucked his face into Sephiroth’s neck and nodded. “Yep. Still want me?”

“Of course.”

“We can be fucked up together then. We’ll make it work.” Cloud sniffed, trying to mask it with a laugh. “Somehow, we’ll manage to raise a kid. We already know what _not_ to do.”

Sephiroth went still, but his arms were still firm around Cloud’s shoulders. “We’ll love him. We already do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's not really smutty, not really beta read, but I struggled with this for two months. Thank you all for reading and being patient with me.


	10. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sephiroth, Cloud, Genesis, Vincent and Cid return to Rocket Town.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this chapter took so long, and yet is so incredibly short. I just got stuck and I apologize the delay. Love you guys :3

Sephiroth curled his arms around Cloud, who leaned into him in the cramped space of the _Valentine._ Across from them, a flash went off; Genesis turned his phone around to show the intimate photo he had captured of Cloud and Sephiroth, the former asleep against the latter.

Raising a finger to his lips, Sephiroth motioned for Genesis to send him the photo. A moment later, his phone buzzed in his pocket, indicating the picture’s arrival. Later, Sephiroth told himself, he would set it as his phone’s background. For now, he let Cloud rest, his mind happily occupied with memories of earlier that day.

 _Back arched, lips parted, Cloud rode him in a haze of pleasure, head thrown back. Sephiroth held onto Cloud’s hips to keep him stable, watching with nothing less than awe at the sight above him. Cloud came down, touched his face with both hands. Happy, sweaty, utterly beautiful, Sephiroth felt his heart swelling with joy. Cloud smiled down at him and kissed Sephiroth tenderly, expressing love beyond words that he could simply feel_.

“Naughty,” Genesis murmured, the word barely caught above the engine of Cid’s tiny airplane.

Sephiroth glared at Genesis, face burning red. “What do you know?” he hissed back, shifting his arms around Cloud. Cloud grumbled incoherently before settling back into place.

“You’re blushing. Not hard to figure out.” Genesis’ cat-like grin made Sephiroth furious with embarrassment, but he did not correct him, either.

Not desiring to wake Cloud further, Sephiroth drew his index finger across his throat and pointed at Genesis. Genesis coughed into his shoulder, poorly smothering his laughter as best he could.

 

Night had just fallen by the time the passed the mountains and landed just outside of Rocket Town. Once they were free of the airplane, Sephiroth made good on his promise and punched Genesis in the arm. Cloud laughed, though confused, as to the sudden act of childish revenge. Genesis hissed and rubbed the spot, still chuckling.

“Your dearest Sephiroth was thinking naughty things while you slept,” Genesis explained, ducking under another swipe from Sephiroth.

“They were not _naughty_ ,” Sephiroth grumbled. “I was recalling…our morning.”

Cloud laughed and held his stomach. “Oh, then it was _definitely_ naughty,” he teased.

“Cloud!” Sephiroth shook his head, smiling.

Cid trailed behind the rest of his companions, his spear slung across his shoulders. “If y’all were bein’ _naughty_ in my plane, yer cleanin’ it before I haul your filthy asses back to Edge. I don’t need SOLDIER funk stinking up my little _Valentine._ ”

“Poor choice of words, Cid,” Vincent replied, his pace slow as to keep behind with Cid.

Genesis spun, walking backwards toward Rocket Town. “Perhaps we can all wear little cut-off shorts. You could photograph us, sell a calendar. Fund your next little project. Cloud could wear a pair of darling little heels.”

Cid stopped walking and put his spear in the dirt.

“Cid, you’re not considering it…?” squawked Cloud. “I mean, we’ll clean your plane if you want-“

“Don’t drag me into this,” Sephiroth protested, shouldering his pack. “This is Genesis’ fault. He brought it up.”

Cid put a Malboro Light in his lips and lit it. “It would sell…”

Vincent chuckled. “Only in certain shops, my dear.”

Sephiroth stopped walking and turned around. “Are you two, really…?”

Vincent glanced at Sephiroth and walked past him. “That’s my business if we are or aren’t.”

Cid hefted his spear over his shoulder again and clapped his hand on Sephiroth’s arm as he passed, leaving him behind with Cloud. “Yer an adult, sonny.”

“I’m lost,” Sephiroth muttered to Cloud. “I knew he had feelings, that much was plain, but are they _really together_?” he asked, watching Cid and Vincent follow after Genesis past the town gate.

Cloud stopped and watched them go as well, hefting First Tsurugi’s harness up further on his back. “Would it bother you if they were? I mean, Cid’s been pretty open about his affection, but Vincent… I can understand why a relationship with someone would be difficult.”

“He said he wouldn’t wait for a blessing from me to… court Vincent.”

Cloud snorted at Sephiroth’s choice of words and put an arm around his waist, so that they walked together. “Cid’s not a patient man if he really wants something.”

“He said that, too…”

“Would it be so bad if they were together? Provided, that’s what Vincent wants, too, of course.”

Sephiroth looked ahead of them, to Cid’s house, glowing faintly with light from inside, and shook his head. “Not at all. Cid may be vulgar and hotheaded, but he’s a good man. Vincent may be my father, but I’ve no right to tell him who to date, either.”

“You can have an opinion,” Cloud pointed out.

Sephiroth stopped and pulled Cloud in front of him, pressing a kiss to his forehead. “As long as neither of them have a problem with _our_ relationship, they can do whatever they want. If _they_ start getting… **opinionated** …”

“I don’t think that’ll be a problem,” Cloud promised, stretching up on his toes to kiss Sephiroth. The kiss ended up cut short, however, by an enthusiastic squeal from Cid’s house.

Barreling out the front door and down the pavestones, Zack charged out and into the street, barefoot and in his pajamas. Sephiroth crouched and opened his arms, Cloud going down with him. They caught the little boy as he leaped into their embrace, sobbing and babbling in excitement.

“I’m so sorry, sweetheart,” murmured Sephiroth, pulling Zack in between himself and Cloud. “I should not have been gone for so long.”

Zack rubbed at his eyes and nodded, sniffling and whimpering. “Missed you, Daddy.”

“I missed you, too. So did your Papa.”

Cloud squeezed in behind; Zack twisted himself around to put his arms around Cloud’s neck, both giving each other wet kisses on tear-streaked cheeks.

Sephiroth leaned over the two of them and kissed them both on their respective cheeks. “It’s okay, Zack. We’re home.”

Zack sniffled and pulled back, looking between Sephiroth and Cloud. Sephiroth glanced to Cloud, who raised a brow; he had to be wondering the same as Sephiroth – what was Zack thinking of?

“Are you married now?” Zack asked.

Cloud laughed, muttering “no, no…”as he shook his head. Zack’s cuteness was a soothing balm after the rough couple of weeks he had just been through.

Sephiroth’s mouth dropped open. “I… no, we’re not married, no. Papa just went to bring me home. And now, I am.”

“But you kissed him,” Zack said, folding his arms over his chest.

“We kiss _you,_ ” Sephiroth pointed out. Zack wriggled in Sephiroth’s arms until his father stooped, putting the boy back on his feet.

Zack peered up at his fathers, stating, “I’m a baby.”

Sephiroth could not help the laugh that escaped him. “You’re _three,_ but that’s semantics. What makes you think we’re married?”

Zack frowned and took a stance, hands on his hips. “Grownups get married.”

“Not all of them. Uncle Cid isn’t married,” said Cloud, crouching beside Sephiroth to ruffle Zack’s hair. Zack then rolled his eyes and staggered back to the house, as if he were being put through some sort of test.

“Where did he get that idea?” Sephiroth asked.

Cloud shook his head. “It’s a little early to talk wedding plans, anyway,” Cloud replied. He followed Zack’s path back into Cid’s house, where Denzel greeted him by the door for a hug. Sephiroth patted the boy’s shoulder in passing, still keeping a respectable distance that Denzel needed.

“Far too early,” Sephiroth said, dropping his things beside Cloud’s just inside the door. He observed the living room of the small house, noting that it was crowded; Cid and Vincent on the couch, a woman with thick glasses coming in from the kitchen with a large kettle of tea… Zack digging through a pile of children’s books, Denzel and Cloud catching up, Genesis across an armchair, texting someone… and Lucrecia following the woman with glasses in from the kitchen, carrying a platter of hastily-thrown together snacks.

Shera approached Sephiroth, adjusting her glasses as she looked up to him. “Welcome to the Highwind house. I don’t think we’ve been formally introduced. I’m Shera, Cid’s assistant, but I’m practically his sister…”

Sephiroth stared at Lucrecia, where she kept her distance by the kitchen door, disappearing from view again before he addressed Shera. “Pleasure to meet you,” he said, his voice flat and monotone. “I’m…”

“Please, I know who you are. I worked for ShinRa, too. May I take your coat?” Shera asked. “I mean, you’re wearing a shirt for a change,” she added, giggling.

Sephiroth blinked down at the bespectacled woman in surprise, Lucrecia no longer in his line of sight. “Oh, of course, thank you,” he said, pulling off the long coat and dropping it into Shera’s arms.

“Oh my. Have you been swimming in Mako?” Shera teased, waving her hand over the leather. She laughed at her own joke, stopping when she saw the look on Sephiroth’s face. “I’m sorry, it was a jo-“

“Yes,” Sephiroth replied, stepping past Shera, toward the kitchen. “Excuse me.”

In the kitchen, Lucrecia occupied herself with the cabinets, doing nothing but _looking_ busy. She kept her back to the door; Sephiroth cleared his throat, leaning against the doorframe until she gave up her charade.

She turned with a wide arc, smoothing her hands on her skirt. “Welcome back,” Lucrecia said. “I’m glad Genesis and Cloud coul-“

“I thought you would have run away again,” Sephiroth hissed.

Lucrecia put her hands on the back of a chair and held on tight. “As you did?”

“I had to get away from you… that was-“

“How was it different than me escaping my own guilt?”

Sephiroth stepped away from the door, reaching the table in front of Lucrecia in a single stride. “I was an _infant_ , and you left-“

“Because I knew what you’d become!”

Sephiroth sneered and threw his arms out at his sides. “And just what _did_ I become?” he barked.

Lucrecia closed her hands over her mouth and dragged them down her face. “I’m not going to call you _that_ , let you hurt yourself… you just got **home**. What we did… Hojo…”

“You could have stopped him!” he snapped.

“ _You_ could have killed him!” Lucrecia bit back.

Sephiroth clamped his mouth shut with a click of his teeth. The room had gone quiet behind him; he realized he had been shouting, and Lucrecia raising her voice to match, and in such a small house…

Lucrecia sighed and circled the table. “He’s beautiful, your son.”

“You-“ The change in subject knocked Sephiroth off balance. He grabbed a chair to steady himself, dizzy from the sudden rise and crash of emotions. He made a mental note to work on reining himself in again. At least around _her_.

Lucrecia folded her arms across her chest. “I wasn’t going to leave Shera to care for Zack and Denzel on her own. The least I could do was babysit.” She crept toward him, outstretching one hand.

“You know he’s adopted.” Sephiroth took a half step back, keeping away from Lucrecia’s reach.

“I know that. He told me about the church, and his dog friend. And the space you made for him and the clothing you bought.” She pulled her ponytail over her shoulder and twisted the end in her fingers. “How you read to him, sometimes, and he ended his silence by telling you he loves you.”

Sephiroth’s jaw muscle tensed and he kept his mouth shut, staring into the middle distance between himself and Cid’s pot-bellied stove. Zack’s first words to him felt like they had come a lifetime ago, before he and Genesis had gone searching for Lucrecia.

“I am at fault for much of what happened to you, why you felt so alone, but I’m also proud of you,” Lucrecia continued. Sephiroth blinked back the first hint of tears and looked up at her. “That little boy loves you and he wants for nothing, but neither is he a spoiled brat.” Lucrecia tentatively took Sephiroth’s hand in both of her own. “You’re a good father, Sephiroth. The cycle can end with you.”

Sephiroth croaked, blinking and looking away. “Cycle?” he asked, though he need not really ask.

“The pain you’ve been through, what I and Vincent have gone through…”

Swallowing, Sephiroth coughed and shook his head. “It’s not all on my own. Cloud deserves a lot of the credit.”

“Maybe so, but… you brought him home, didn’t you?” Lucrecia stepped forward and moved her hands up to Sephiroth’s face. He turned, almost helpless, and looked at his mother. “I haven’t told him who I am, yet. I will respect your wishes if you don’t want me to be in his life any further, but I’d like to know my grandson a little more, if you give me time.”

“I… have to discuss it with Cloud. He and I…” Sephiroth took a deep breath. “I’m just putting my life together. I do… need some time, to accept you in it… maybe not feel my stomach turn whenever I think of my m-“

Lucrecia pressed a finger to his lips. “No, it’s okay. I understand. I’ll keep my distance, but I won’t lock myself away again. I should have been there for you. I’ll do my best to be here for you, now. And for Zack.”

Sephiroth pushed her hands away from his face and put his hands on Lucrecia’s shoulders. “As long as you promise to not make things difficult for Vincent, too. I actually like Highwind, crass as he is.” Sephiroth jumped and turned as a voice interrupted their conversation.

“Issat right? Well, I’m flattered. Y’all comin’ back sometime soon? Tea’s gettin’ cold out here.” Cid leaned against the kitchen’s doorframe, teacup in hand, as he looked over the rim at Sephiroth and Lucrecia. He took a sip, a brow raised in question.

Sephiroth bowed his head in acknowledgement. “I’ll be right there, thank you, Cid.” Once the pilot had backed off, Sephiroth turned to his mother again. “This conversation isn’t finished, but I’m done with it tonight. I’m tired.”

“Go, be with your family. I should probably go back to the inn, soon.”

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Sephiroth inhaled slowly. “I just want a peaceful night. If you take off, it’s going to get awkward. As if I-“

“-drove me off.” Lucrecia nodded and wrapped her arms around her waist. “Okay. I’ll stay, for you.”

Sephiroth swallowed and turned away from her without another word, retreating into the cramped living room. He squeezed onto the couch between the armrest and Cloud, putting an arm around Cloud’s shoulders. Zack climbed up into his lap and cuddled into Sephiroth’s chest.

Cloud leaned in as well, tucking an arm behind Sephiroth’s back. “You okay?”

“You know I’m not. I’m pretty sure they heard me in Costa del Sol.” Sephiroth groaned and dropped his face into the soft bush of Cloud’s hair. “I wish I hadn’t gone looking for her… I… am not ready for her to be in my life.”

A hollow chuckle came out of Cloud. “I won’t suggest you have to have her around. I’m not sure how I feel about her either…”

Zack picked his head up from Sephiroth’s chest and looked at them both. “Somebody make you sad, Daddy?”

Sephiroth tousled his son’s hair and shook his head. “It’s a long story, kiddo. And not a happy one.”

“About Miss Crescent?”

Cloud glanced up at Sephiroth and nodded. “Yeah, she and your Daddy…” he began, trailing off mid-thought. “They’re…”

Sephiroth took a deep breath. “We have a complicated relationship. I don’t know if she makes me happy or sad.”

“She made me chicken nuggets,” Zack offered.

Smiling, Sephiroth pulled Zack against his chest and hugged him tight, rubbing his back. “That’s good. I’m glad to know you were eating well while I was gone. But that’s not enough for me,” he explained. A familiar wetness escaped into Zack’s hair and Sephiroth sniffled.

“Okay,” Zack murmured, wriggling his arms up to hug around Sephiroth’s neck.

 

Returning to Edge was a decidedly quiet affair; the _Shera_ was practically a hotel compared to toughing it out in a tent in the Nibel area. Going back to the apartment felt like opening a crypt of memories: while nothing was changed, and Tifa had kept good on her word of maintaining the issue of dust, so much had changed since they had left.

So much more would be changing, still.

Left to their own devices, Cloud and Sephiroth entrusted Genesis to babysit Zack while they rearranged their life together. Sephiroth’s things were moved into Cloud’s room and Sephiroth’s room converted into a space for Zack, for the time being. More than once, conversation turned to the fact that Zack would need more space to grow, and as things were going, Genesis might need to get off their couch for good.

Every time it came up, however, the subject changed. Things were changing so quickly, so soon, after both Sephiroth and Cloud had danced around each other, avoided intimacy.

Heading out to 7th Heaven, Sephiroth contemplated how things had changed already. He could touch Cloud without a subtle flinch or tension. Cloud entered his personal space on his own as well, leaving Sephiroth to wonder how long both of them had wanted it. Yet, their light bickering, awful jokes, and a sleepless night talking… all things they had done already, felt simply natural, as it always had since Sephiroth’s return.

Zack squealing in joy as forty pounds of gray fur tackled him to the ground and slobbered all over his face with puppy kisses brought Sephiroth out of his thoughts. Cloud pried the old hound off their son and won a free face wash. Chuckling warmly, Cloud rubbed the dog’s neck and got to his feet, scooping Zack with him to keep their boy from being bowled over again.

Tifa received them with open arms and casual mention of winning money from Elena for the two of them “finally hooking up.” Sephiroth frowned, concerned that his love life – and by extension, Cloud’s – was worthy of being bet upon.

After a welcoming party home and plenty of free alcohol, they headed back to the apartment. To their home. Linked hand-in-hand-in-hand with his son and Cloud, Sephiroth felt an overwhelming sense of joy fill his chest and make his heart swell.

So, so much had happened, and more still to come, and the idea of a future, a happy family, the things he had always secretly wanted. They were his, now. No longer were they dreams of a monster, wishing to be human. Many problems would be in the future, no doubt, but for once, Sephiroth looked forward without contingency plans.

Life would not be a battle for either of them. Not anymore.

Sephiroth promised himself this as he fell into bed with Cloud that night, exhausted, but happy. He promised it to Cloud as well, and Cloud rewarded him with sleepy kisses.

Curled up beside Cloud, his enemy, his match, his love, Sephiroth felt peace.


End file.
